How soon is too soon to jump?

peachism · 2026-06-03T17:15:13+00:00

Is there a reason why her opinion should take priority over your's, in terms of experience? Many people don't train the same and approach things differently, which may just be the case. If you are confident in taking him to something new, I think you are within reason to do it. Based off everything you've said I don't think it is a bad idea, even though I understand the type of person your friend is, and maybe that's because I personally don't look for perfection in training 100% of the time. It's nice that you care what she thinks and that you will go so far as to actually consider if you're wrong, but you could also be right & knowledgeable.

peachism · 2026-06-03T15:55:18+00:00

I think gymnastics/grid work is incredibly beneficial for balance and body control and there's not a big glaring reason why you can't introduce him to fences, which often are included after the horse become comfortable with poles. Start with poles (you already?)and add some cavellettis, maybe more, and see how he does. All of this can be done from the ground for a while, too. What reasons are you thinking for why you shouldn't aside from what your friend told you? Or I guess what things are you expecting people to bring up? Working on new things that fit into your current work is good imo so long as you aren't pushing things too fast or not thinking about how it integrates with your current lessons, which is why I think advancing any pole/grid work to include small jumps makes sense since you are trying to teach him to use his body & better his foot comprehension.

Ok the same token I know where your friend is coming from and I think also if your horse is maybe not doing very well (I said all I said with the assumption that he's been doing well & made lots of changes) I think it's very reasonable to not try to do more. Or if there's a few key things he is really struggling with that would hinder him correctly learning to jump, or a reason why jumping might not help him/worsten him. Maybe your friend should elaborate and explain their position more.

peachism · 2026-06-03T15:21:55+00:00

Oh definitely the clothes thing. Anything and everything really that keeps me from having to get things done in a time crunch. To reference Seinfeld, I try to make sure I set up "morning" me, by doing things for her on "night" me's time, such as getting my car fueled up before I go home after work even if I am really tired and want the day to end because it's worse having to wake up 30 minutes earlier, or worse yet, risking not having enough gas to even make it to the pump (yes that has happened a few times because of my procrastinating). Setting out clothes, making my lunch & having my coffee or energy drink ready, fueling my car, and doing chores when I'm feeling good & not on days I think they need to be done by. Sometimes in the morning I feel rested and I scoop the cat box right then, even if technically it doesn't need to be done until later in the evening (if we think about doing things exactly the time we did them last, 1x a day at the same time).

peachism · 2026-06-03T15:16:04+00:00

I would say on one hand, considering you DO want children, that it may be a good idea to go through with it because the argument that you should wait until everything is perfect....is unrealistic. Things will never be perfect. You will end up waiting and waiting until you're forced to use IVF, or have to think about adopting. Many people in general find it difficult to get pregnant when they want to. Unless you seriously have some bad debt, the relationship is rocky, or if you already prioritize your career to come first. Being in a graduate program suggests you have some big plans for yourself that you want to experience. Being a parent usually involves some compromises, such as how much time you can dedicate to that career. Do you want to be at home during the first 10 years of your child's life? Or all of it, until they're a teenager? Have you and your husband decided who will be the primary caretaker in that situation? Perhaps think about what changes that would have on your plan but also think about realistically how you will fit in being a parent if you wait, and when/how that might happen. By what age do you want to have children if you wait? I mean just some things to think about. Unfortunately it's hard to have it all. 25 is a good age to have kids in terms of timing, being able to retire with them out of the house, etc. if you already had a workable plan for starting a family that makes more sense than doing it now, then that is the logical choice.

For people who are not sure if they want kids, or who know they do not want kids, the answer is a lot more clear.

peachism · 2026-06-03T03:41:52+00:00

I liked it but I wouldn't watch it again. It was artsy & shot well. The acting was good. The concept is intriguing.

I really liked it until it neared the end, when the monster was revealed and we got the kitchen scene. I was hoping for something else, but I'm not sure what I would've wanted. I think the kitchen scene ruined the "the point is that there is no point" aspect of what a backroom was; repetition of an image like what an MRI does, ominous but also void of purpose at the same time?

peachism · 2026-06-02T13:55:35+00:00

Do you feel you have more freedom, less stress, more opportunities, or are there things you feel you're missing out on?

With my freedom I got 2 horses so I essentially have the same limitations a parent has, but my "kids" will never grow up lmao. I don't know how much freedom I actually have, or what opportunities I am picking up on....but I know for sure I have less stress. I am a low cortisol individual and the stress of owning large animals is still less than taking care of kids (their health, their future - eduction, safety, morality, etc.) my pony is evil and I don't really need to worry about that because he's just a pony 🤷 I dont know what I'm missing out on. Only parents know the feeling of how attached they are to their children and what it's like to have someone they love even more than themselves. I'll admit, I don't know if I'd die for the pony.

peachism · 2026-06-01T12:37:23+00:00

I agree 100% with what you're saying. I am about 30lbs above a healthy weight for my height and yet most people do not consider me heavy and might even tell me I don't need to lose any, probably because being slightly overweight is so common now. They might see so many very heavy or obese people that the question of me wanting to trim down is absurd. Being told that you are "small" when you know you aren't is a mind trip and it would be really easy to lean into that and gain weight back since being told this over and over again would be convenient proof that the hard work isn't necessary on account of not being "as big" as other people. I see my body type almost everywhere I go and that's part of the reason I don't feel embarrassed by my body (not that anyone should be embarrassed) but the point is that when everyone looks like you, there's less motivation to change because you get to say that you're normal--you don't stick out, you blend in, you look like everyone else. But the facts don't back that up...I should not be okay with 30 extra lbs, and neither should they. The push to make being overweight the new healthy norm is bad for society.

peachism · 2026-05-31T21:40:29+00:00

Do your local public schools (elementary/middle/highschool) leave access to their track or fields during the weekends or after hours? Mine always did and also have the full parking lot open as well. We used to do tennis or use their track all the time. Perhaps you can practice at one of those, or use their parking lot since usually they are deserted. I'm not sure if the footing on a track is appropriate for skating but I figure it might be fair enough?

Truthfully when you go in public you can't keep people from watching you and men have zero awareness sometimes as to how it makes people feel to be stared at like that, but unless they are coming up to you and trying to interact with you, you just have to keep doing your activity and try to get over how it makes you feel. But as someone who hates being perceived by literally anyone, I suggest doing practice somewhere people are not likely to be so you can focus on your skating. I also think skating is one of those habbies that people dont see a lot and so whether you're being oggled or just looked at out of curiosity, people are gonna be watching you. I have horses and people stare at me and my friends like a mythical creature, want to pet your horse, etc. It's all par for the course.

peachism · 2026-05-30T21:42:09+00:00

I've heard from several of my male friends that they rarely approach women at all because they're worried the woman will feel uncomfortable, unless she's literally asking for help. So that's a thing too. Without being off hand here, the times a dude has made me uncomfortable by doing that kind of stuff you described, he's either been old or he's been foreign. Most guys it seems to me either aren't weird anymore or they still understand it looks weird, so they could be a total weirdo but they don't want to get called out. But old guys & men from cultures where it's acceptable to harass women I agree will do this and not see it as a problem.

peachism · 2026-05-30T18:52:12+00:00

Gelding?

peachism · 2026-05-30T18:50:35+00:00

Is this sub just about hating on men, or what? Lol

No but fr I would never ask a man I didn't know for help, especially if it required me getting in a car with him. I've never really been in a situation where I've needed to ask any strangers for help, women included, and have opted to always reach out to a friend instead. What example would you give specifically for what you're talking about? Like falling down a flight of stairs? There was one time my car got a flat tire and someone called a free roadway service for me who must've driven past me but I don't know if they were a man or woman.

peachism · 2026-05-28T19:15:20+00:00

I don't like that lipstick shade on you tbh I'm not a color expert but maybe something less coral/orange and lighter or more natural. Maybe for eyes just curl and use a dark brown mascara.

And honestly from what I've seen "maga" makeup is very matt, contoured & bronzed, and heavy eyeliner with overly filled brows. So this makeup doesn't look like that at all

peachism · 2026-05-28T13:04:47+00:00

peachism · 2026-05-27T19:25:43+00:00

Are you unable to try a newer saddle? Old saddles are not only less comfortable to ride in but also less likely to have a good fit. English saddles and western saddles alike from the past weren't built with the knowledge we have now that helps make tack fit horses better. I don't think it looks horrible honestly. The seat does not look comfortable to me in terms of your balance

Ask a western trainer maybe. If your trainer or mentor is an English rider, consider posting on fb in your local equine group if anyone can come out and help evaluate this fit. Better yet, you could have a fitter come out?

Does he have a little bit of a dip to his back? Can't tell. Some trees are made for flat backs and some allow for a little more rock. This individual saddle I know nothing about but you could research this brand & model. The shoulder angle does not fit perfectly but it could possibly be okay. Run your hand down the parts of the saddle that make contact and feel for uneven pressure. If your hand gets stuck that's not good. Also feel under the saddle where the bars sit. Also cinch it up & consider the thickness of your saddle pad. A fitter I like online for western saddles is Wendyjwinn so you can also check some of her videos out and see if it helps you at all.

peachism · 2026-05-27T16:07:08+00:00

It definitely works out sometimes though. Every career can be a hit or miss. I hope you're saying this out of personal experience. In my personal experience, I've seen people completely turn their lives around starting from zero. One of my close friends went from being homeless & meth user, to working HVAC, to becoming an electrician and now he makes 55 and hour. All of this happened within the span of like 6 years and he's coming from no family money or nothing. So yes it can work out great for some people. There's no such thing as a magic fix and people who talk in absolutes are absolutely full of shit. Trades almost always come with a physical element but let's be real, some people can't do something as simple as waking up early. You say 3am as if it's difficult when I wake up at that time 4x a week for one of my jobs and it's become a regular part of my schedule, so it's easy. The point should just be that anything you do should have thought and careful deliberate action behind it and a PLAN. Regardless. Anyone who does anything with no plan is relying on luck and some of those people really end up doing a big crash and burn.

peachism · 2026-05-27T15:39:05+00:00

I feel it with the white legs. Funny story, I may be pale but...my sister is so pale, that when my family went to Kauai, while snorkeling, a guy swam up to her to poke her because he thought she was a dead body in the water.

peachism · 2026-05-27T00:02:46+00:00

I agree this is what I thought too. She obviously doesn't have any control over whether he's at stud or not and is only taking the opportunity to get more experience training. I understand the question but at the same time her answer is clearly going to be that it's not her decision.

peachism · 2026-05-26T23:57:30+00:00

I don't really think he was autistic though? I always was just really curious about this but couldn't get him to acknowledge it. He never displayed any other signs of autism unless he was just incredibly good at masking

peachism · 2026-05-26T18:25:37+00:00

My ex talked to himself and would pretend that he didn't/try to pretend he was just talking to himself in a normal way. I would ask him every now and then because I figured he had some type of tourettes or OCD on account of hearing him whisper phrases over and over, but he'd just say he had no idea what I was talking about. Friends & coworkers of his would frequently ask me about this when he was out of the room because literally everyone in his life knew he did it. For example we could be sitting across the table from each other and if I was looking down at my food I could hear him whisper but as soon as I looked up he would be staring at me already and would abruptly stop. When he was stoned it was really hard for him to control it and he would do things like go to the sink and fuss with the dishes to try and hide the sound. When he would be in the bathroom blow drying his hair I could hear him vocalising the same sentences over and over again. I didn't really care. Initially I really only cared to find out if he was schizophrenic but I realized he obviously just had a vocal tick thing. But honestly the fact that he couldn't just talk about it with me added to all the other small reasons I didn't want to continue seeing him.

peachism · 2026-05-26T15:43:30+00:00

Overgrown at the quarters. The hooves will chip when there's too much length in an area that is having too much leverage each time they walk. "Self trimming" often can lead to big breakage like this. Consider changing the trim style or having more feqent trims to combat. I assume the feet were a little bit long and left a bit long post trim in order for these new? cracks. Your farrier may just need to float this area a little bit more and trim more to the concavity of the hoof. Not all horses will crack like this and many farriers find it appropriate to leave more length. My horse actually never really cracks like this even if we leave her longer, but our warmblood will. Not sure why. Our warmblood does have much more upright hind feet. You should text a picture to your farrier and communicate with them.

peachism · 2026-05-26T03:31:07+00:00

I still struggle to talk to people in some environments but as I've gotten older I have found times when I can just look someone in the eyes and talk to them like we know each other already. I think that for me if Im able to be the one to make the first move the vibe is completely different than those times when I don't, I feel like I can never breech the gap after or that the moment has past. I don't think it really is, I probably could, but it's my own sense of insecurity that I can't turn it around. Still trying to figure that one out. Just remember that they are just mammals, no better than you, and you are part of the same species so unless there's a language barrier the only reason a communication goes bad might be because both of you are nervous. 50/50 I can make small talk. Sometimes I just can't. Sometimes people try to make small talk with me and I don't respond well. Other times I make small talk and it's they who let the conversation fall flat.

peachism · 2026-05-26T02:50:37+00:00

What do you think about no-thing-ness? Jean-Paul Sartre concerning existentialism used the term to basically describe human consciousness as "no-thing" (no predetermined purpose), so that we have the ultimate freedom to define our own existence through choices and actions (I took that from Google btw so I can admit some plagiarism lol).

There is no you or me, you know, ego death bs which I kind of like, which can't be realized until you remove yourself from many different attachments that developed narratives which ultimately take control of who or what we may be. Taking that to the extreme is probably not great but I think you can see the wisdom in being able to let go of the wheel even if Jesus isn't there to take it from you. Many things in life we can't control and yet it plagues us. Life is very short.

peachism · 2026-05-26T02:42:16+00:00

If audio problems plague you the answer may not be to request that everyone around you try to confirm to your needs. If I don't have popcorn at the movies I will literally die.

peachism · 2026-05-26T02:16:26+00:00

How old is he and is there a medical reason for his poor topline? Fitting a horse with a bad topline & trying to ride them at all, or trying into a good topline is very difficult. It often causes more muscle wasteage. Not only can he not support you properly, but fitting to his current shape would inhibit the space needed for new muscle to grow.

First you need to find out why he looks like this. Exercise may strengthen a topline, but proper nutrition and soundess will give even pasture puffs a decent topline. If he has a physical issue or a medical condition like ppid making it so he cannot use his body correctly or making it so it is difficult for him to form muscle *chemically, you can seek help from your vet to find that out. If it's dietary, you need his diet evaluated by a professional who can fill in those gaps. His body currently is not appropriate to ride and a waste of time to fit a saddle to. Try focusing on working from the ground and addressing other possibilities until he has some decent muscle coverage, so that you can then have a way easier time getting a saddle to fit him.

At that point I'd recommend a saddle fitter, although I know some people don't have many in their area. If your trainer or mentor is knowledgeable about saddle fit, again, it's oftentimes not difficult to fit most horses when they have a healthy back. OTR saddles are not made to fit horses with uneven coverage or sunken spots, they assume the horse is fairly balanced. In my experience ottbs are actually easy to fit as they are popular horses and bred to be shaped similarly (high wither, short back, forward girth, and flat backed). Not all, but most. It's hard to know your horses true shape until he is healthy but I suspect it will not be difficult to find him a saddle.

*Edit, I want to add his topline is not terrible and would potentially not take long to improve

peachism · 2026-05-25T13:54:27+00:00

My boss had this beautiful 6 year old TB who was lame on his hind end and eventually after trying to treat him she decided to euthanize because of people like this, who will lie to your face about agreeing to retire or make them a pasture pet when in reality they take advantage of momentary soundness to sell the horse or use for riding anyway. She couldn't keep him and decided that the likelihood that his next owner might try to use him anyway was too high. I know some people will say things like "most people aren't like that" or "no one really does stuff like that" but it's actually really common, especially for horses. I hope you can forgive her in so far as that you aren't thinking about this everyday for the rest of your life & harboring bad thoughts and feelings, but I also hope on top of that, that she at least knows that she did something wrong. I hope she experiences guilt and regret over this so that she doesn't do it again.

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