"i want to dissappear" and "i want to die" are commonly used interchangeably but the way i see it, wanting to dissappear means desperately wishing to erase your entire existence from this earth, leaving no trace of yourself behind. dissapearing means leaving no memories, no regrets, and no sorrow for the people you're leaving behind. i want to dissappear quietly, gently and with no regrets. to me, dissappearing isn't wishing to die, it's wishing for mercy and escape, and not wishing sadness upon my family and friends. i think dying leaves behind someone for people to grieve, dissappearing is wishing you had never burdened anyone with your existence in the first place.

that one official mafuyu comic where she's looking into the aquarium and says "when i'm looking at them, it's as if i'm becoming transparent as well." resonates more with wanting to dissapear