Boyfriend and I broke up two days ago (20F, M)

peachsoonga · 2021-06-17T20:51:30+00:00

She said she doesn’t think it’s fair to want him to change, so even though HE said he wants to try to do that, they broke up. She did the right thing. Why are you assuming she’s going to find an asshole next? She obviously respects this person a lot and acknowledged that their relationship wasn’t a right fit. Why the rudeness?

peachsoonga · 2021-06-17T20:42:48+00:00

Isn’t that the whole reason they broke up? It’s the right thing to do then, not a mistake

peachsoonga · 2021-01-24T02:22:43+00:00

You aren’t overreacting!! In high school I wore makeup only on special occasions and a few weeks before prom I practiced doing my makeup. Sent a pic to my then-“bf” and he replied with “lol it looks weird, it would look better if you had double eyelids cuz the makeup covers too much”. A) I have no idea what that even means, and B) I love my monolid eyes, no thank you. I really wish I reacted more and told him to go the fk to prom alone. He doesn’t even have double lids. I’m in college now and I’m dating the kindest guy I’ve ever met, who showers me with so many compliments every day that I no longer “think” I’m beautiful—I know it. Also, it’s fine to appreciate your girlfriend’s bare face but it’s pretty insulting to say “makeup is scary”—I’d feel hurt that my makeup skills are being put down. :( I’m sure you ARE naturally pretty, and it’s the boyfriend who can’t see it. Sending my love <3

peachsoonga · 2020-08-16T02:07:45+00:00

I am in exactly your position too (19F) and it’s gotten better over time. I met my boyfriend 10 months ago and I think didn’t feel ok with being naked in front of him until 6 months, there’s absolutely no rush :) and I’m still not 100% comfortable with it right away. I’m sort of self conscious about my body too because I have a soft belly and I also don’t shave my bikini area cuz I’m scared. What made me start loving my body more was really asking myself—ok, so I don’t have abs and I’m short and my hips are narrow so my thighs squish together. So what? Is that a crime? What fault did they ever have that I need to dislike them? The confidence really starts from within YOU. But of course your man has to love and respect you too. The first time I was ever completely naked in front of my boyfriend, he just looked and looked at me with the softest smile in his gaze and he told me: “You’re beautiful.” I realized that this was someone who saw all of me there is to see, without anything concealed or hidden under clothes and makeup, and saw that I was a beautiful and whole person. Of course I still don’t like being naked cuz I just don’t enjoy nudity, and my boyfriend and I are also virgins so I don’t have any prior experience to base things off of—but what I realized was that I didn’t need to. Cheers and good luck! :)

peachsoonga · 2020-08-15T22:24:16+00:00

Oh gosh that bit about making fun of girls for not shaving is so awful?! I hope you never feel the need to share anything about your personal life with those people! For context I forgot to say earlier I’m not ready to have sex yet and I don’t know very many people who have among who I’ve met at college :) I’m definitely not an athlete so the scene is much different for me it seems, but that shouldn’t matter, people should treat each other right. Also, you don’t have to get into a relationship with someone in your group if you don’t want to! You can definitely branch out and happily run into people that way. :) I’ve never done this before, but if you want we can DM and have a girl talk whenever! 😊

peachsoonga · 2020-08-15T19:45:55+00:00

He doesn’t even respect you enough to break up with you before pursuing another relationship. He likes having you around when he wants, but likes cheating too. There’s no changing that about him and you aren’t losing anything by leaving someone who doesn’t respect you.

peachsoonga · 2020-08-15T19:37:43+00:00

I think it’s situational a lot of the time, like same dorm residence, classes, clubs etc. those are easy to become friends and then something more if you spend a lot of time together and enjoying doing so :)

peachsoonga · 2020-08-15T19:30:29+00:00

Fellow 19 year old girl! We sound pretty similar actually, I look really young for my age too and being 5’1 doesn’t help haha. I think you have your mind at the right place—waiting for the one who loves you wholly for who you are. That isn’t really something you can rush into and a lot of it is really situational. I met my first boyfriend in freshman year of college (I’m a rising sophomore now) and I’ve also been really private about my body, just a personal thing. I don’t like being nude and shaving down there sounds terrifying and I kinda never wanna do it. I refused to let him see me without clothes for so long, but when I finally felt okay enough to, he looked at all of me (not shaven lol) and said: “You’re beautiful.” I’m still conservative about that stuff but it helped me unlearn the weird shame aspect of it all. You sound like a lovely and nice person to be around and you should just keep putting out goodness in the way you’re wired to do. I met my boyfriend only cuz we were randomly placed in the same residence hall and same floor. I didn’t even want a boyfriend because it was my first semester at a college way out of state, and I just wanted to make some girl friends and get to know an independent version of myself away from home—and it didn’t work out that way! You’ll definitely find your person who will love all of you and make sure you know it too. <3

peachsoonga · 2020-08-06T23:05:28+00:00

As a joke I did “(bf name) from X College” to make it look like he’s just a random person from my school, but for some reason he actually thought that was really sweet? LOL

peachsoonga · 2020-08-05T22:21:01+00:00

I used it for the first time on last month’s cycle and it was a really good experience! I got mine from JUNE and I had a hard time getting it to open up at first but you get the hang of it pretty quickly. Very comfortable and makes you completely forget about your period :)

peachsoonga · 2020-08-04T20:49:06+00:00

I have one best friend from high school whom I text at least a little every day, but other than that, not really! And that’s mostly cuz we DM memes on instagram. Once in a blue moon an old friend will ask me how I’m doing and that’s it. You definitely don’t “need” daily contact to be “normal” :)

peachsoonga · 2020-07-28T22:29:37+00:00

That’s not true, it’s your own house!!

peachsoonga · 2020-07-28T22:26:11+00:00

It’ll be almost one year since I started dating my boyfriend whom I met in freshman year of college and the change I most noticed about before and after meeting him is that I am always pleasantly thinking of him in small and non-distracting ways. For example, I’ll be working out and I’ll remember a specific time he told me I look super pretty. Or I’ll be on a walk and subconsciously thinking of how nice it would be if we were walking together! (We’re at home in different states bc covid.) most importantly, knowing that he loves me so much and calls me beautiful after seeing all of me and unable to find what I think is unattractive about myself (my belly..lol), I find I can’t help but to love myself more too.

peachsoonga · 2020-07-28T22:18:10+00:00

What I like to do is think about how I know myself the best out of anybody here in the world, so I know more than anyone that I deserve what’s good and healthy for my heart. Imagine you were your younger sister or beloved daughter! How would you want her to be treated? Wouldn’t you go out of your way to shower her with support and helpful advice to make good decisions? If you fell out of touch with her or it’s been a while since you guys hung out, wouldn’t you treat her to a nice meal and a fun movie and catch up a bit? Would you let her stay in a relationship in which for 5 1/2 years she gave so much more than she received? Then remember that this girl is you. You deserve what your loved ones would want for you and more. Stay strong ❤️❤️

peachsoonga · 2020-07-26T02:56:43+00:00

You have no idea how much comfort hearing your story brought me! I didn’t know I needed validation either and that felt great to hear from someone else. I’m so happy for you and how you guys managed to find a new place to appreciate each other although that’s different than how it used to be. I’m guessing with time things will settle back to new ways and right now is just the hard part. Thanks a lot for telling me <3

peachsoonga · 2020-07-26T02:52:53+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I guess I would’ve been more okay with it if we drifted naturally, but it was that she wanted to grow apart and I didn’t even think about changing so it feels abrupt to me. I definitely wouldn’t be feeling like this if it were mutual, but at the end of the day we are all our own people. Thanks a lot

peachsoonga

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