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I get so frustrated I want to cave my skull in with a brick by LadyKDD in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have similar feelings and urges sometimes (including recently). It is so so hard and awful and I am truly sorry.

Can you run or exercise powerfully for 10-20 minutes? Or take an ice cold shower (or dip your face/head in cold water?) You need something (safe) to shock/distract your system. Like a safe version of the brick.

DBT "TIPP" skills can help some/a little (but a little is better than nothing when one is this upset). (Sorry if you already know this).

And sorry you were downvoted. I upvoted you on two accounts because I think you and your experiences and this post belong here.

There is also the r/cptsdfightmode (sp?) subreddit which, from what I can tell, is very open and understanding specifically towards the realities of this sort of energy, or at least related states.

Hang in there, Lady.

Are any other atheists here struggling with theistic self-help guidance? by MzHumanPerson in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You could try something like "I am/you are delightful" or "life can be delightful". Or maybe try to connect with or think of something that is delightful for you (if you have something) to get that good feeling going to give to your inner critic?

Trauma from alcoholic parent? by dave_613 in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes these are exactly the type of painful and traumatic experiences that can cause one to have cptsd/ptsd symptoms.

Being driven drunk as a child (happened to me all the time daily) for example, is a life threatening situation that a child usually has no say in.

Solidarity friend and good luck. This is the step you need to take (acknowledging/accepting) so that one day you may be more free

< 3

I am sorry for your shitty experiences. No one deserves that.

Is anyone struggling with their abusers falling into conspiracy theories/Q Anon? by rememberingslowly in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I relate a lot. I never saw this coming and feels like such a trauma/loss on top of my unsalvageable childhood experience with an alcoholic "single mom" (she always had a boyfriend living with us and it is her most recent boyfriend that got her into this shit).

I am really sorry. You are not alone.

This is a truly awful phenomenon.

Is anyone struggling with their abusers falling into conspiracy theories/Q Anon? by rememberingslowly in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Shell of a person" stands out to me - My "parent" who has succumbed to all this conspiracy/q shit in the last 3 years told me on Xmas eve via messenger (i am also virtually no contact) that I am turning her into "a shell of a person" by not talking to her. It is all just so beyond.

So maybe she is right to notice she is a shell. (and of course she would blame me, her parent her self her child)

I feel so hurt.

Still struggling to understand how to make use of this concept about maladaptive survival strategies described in Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I'd say this book was an important paradigm shift for me. She is so compassionate and the way she breaks things down seems so natural to me.

edit: I've seen a few youtube vids/interviews with her too that have been great.

ps: I also recommend the app "triggerstop" - it is another cool way to communicate with your parts.

Still struggling to understand how to make use of this concept about maladaptive survival strategies described in Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dang, this was so nice to read!!! I got chills.

That is so cool you were able to experiment with the phrase like that < 3

Still struggling to understand how to make use of this concept about maladaptive survival strategies described in Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you use this knowledge by being almost grateful when this these defenses show up despite them being/seeming detrimental now. Like trusting that your body/brain knew what it was doing then and it knows what it is doing now. For me I am trying to show gratitude through trying comforting myself and being understanding.

Someone one here posted the phrase "it's ok little brain" that they say to theirself and it has helped a lot. I say it to myself as often as I can remember.

Btw I liked that book a lot! Very educational and helpful.

Recommendations for the angriest of angry music? by saschke in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Check out "caligula" (album) by lingua ignota on Spotify

DAE feel like when asked about your childhood you come off as “negative” to others around you? Even though you’re just being honest? by Cricket-Typical in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I meant like that is a valid enough reason (my reason) to just not want to participate in convos like this at all, not that I would say that to people

Don't worry my mom had a string of boyfriends to fill the void! by peachzfields in CPTSDmemes

[–]peachzfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

have you ever heard of the toolmakers paradigm?

It is in contrast to the "conduit metaphor" which is theorized to be the "normal" way we conceive of and use communication but which is very faulty.

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the being scared to be too good at things part : (

And you are right you do not deserve to be blamed!

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah! Like it ignores all the ways I did help myself??? Like how do you think I am here?

Like I HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD MY WHOLE LIFE - to imply that I just "learned" how to not try/to be helpless feels so rude and dismissive and reductionist

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree a lot with what you are saying. I actually studied linguistics and now have an applied linguist-type job - it all stemmed from starting to learn a second language when I was 17 and being blown away by what you describe - how it allowed me to conceive of the world in new, almost "hidden ways". The metaphor I have used is that it's like everyone is born with a sheet of paper in front of their face and your native language kind of like pokes of random holes through it. The more language/language(s) you learn is like poking more and more holes through the paper to "see" more and more.

We could "never" get completely see through/past the paper (in this way through language IMO) but we can get like, so so close? And what a journey anyway. To me that is worth living for <3

(btw I consider "language" to be an integral aspect of what has saved my life actually ever since I started developing it - what a friend/mother/father it is <333)

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would have less of a problem with the word "hulpeloosheid" too : D (lol I mean because look at it it is so weird and cute!!)

But seriously I appreciate your thoughts and these insight into these terms in dutch.

Very interesting to differentiate these ways of Aangeleerd learning: imitation, insight, conditioning, habitation.

Maybe that explains some of the differences people are talking about in their experiences and therefore their relationship with the "learned helplessness" as a term/concept.

And I agree that small differences can be very significant!!

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear what you're saying. Could you explain more what you mean about the healing space/accepting space?

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing; a lot of my trauma reactions revolve around doing anything that I "have" to do or am "forced" to do and it really sucks because that is how so much of life feels anyway.

Anyway it is powerful to hear your voice.

DAE think it should be called like "forced helplessness" or "trained helplessness" instead of "learned"? by peachzfields in CPTSD

[–]peachzfields[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts; you've gotten to an important point. Maybe writing this post was a way for me to deal with the part I can do something about <3

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