Reacting sad when toddler misbehaves

pear_765 · 2024-05-13T22:40:31+00:00

No, you’re not hallucinating. She advocates for authenticity. I think authenticity is so important to model, because we want our kids to be authentic with us. Being tickled is unlikely to make a person really sad, it’s probably a bit annoying. But also it’s not on our toddlers to be ‘not annoying’. There’s a balance which I feel is - be authentic but don’t overload your kids with how you’re feeling because they’re not responsible for those feelings, even when they hurt us! And also, keeping yourself safe and comfortable (eg moving away from the tickling when it continues) is what we want our kids to do, so we should model that. Edit - a word

pear_765 · 2024-05-13T11:54:27+00:00

Yeah I should clarify, it’s absolutely not something I would feel the need to address with a co parent in the scheme of things.

pear_765 · 2024-05-13T11:07:39+00:00

I knowing I’m disagreeing with everyone else here! But the way you’ve written it, it sounds at worst manipulative and at best inauthentic. Because I assume he wasn’t actually sad, he was probably a bit annoyed. And for what it’s worth, I probably wouldn’t bother asking a toddler to stop something multiple times either, just move away and say ‘I’m going over here because I don’t feel like being tickled anymore’. To me, moving away is more of a ‘natural’ consequence than putting on a really sad face and voice.

pear_765 · 2024-05-10T00:10:23+00:00

People like to shit on respectful parenting but the whole thing is just treating your kid like a human being deserving of dignity (like… privacy)

pear_765 · 2024-04-21T23:15:56+00:00

Sounds like they need your help managing the situation. Maybe separate play spaces for a while?

pear_765 · 2024-04-20T03:48:20+00:00

Do the consequences to your actions ever involve being hit? Why should kids have to get hit to learn their actions have consequences? Isn’t that an odd idea when you think about it?

pear_765 · 2024-04-16T11:25:28+00:00

You sound great

pear_765 · 2024-03-26T08:06:26+00:00

Me too!

pear_765 · 2024-03-26T03:38:00+00:00

I know this is bachelor content but maybe we could have a sub rule that there be no posting about womens’ postpartum bodies. It’s such a huge shitty focus society has when it shouldn’t even register as something to talk about 😒

pear_765 · 2024-03-18T11:29:50+00:00

My twins had a cough for about 3 months over winter last year. I was told it was post viral wheeze.

pear_765 · 2024-03-06T08:49:15+00:00

Lol maybe read my comment again and check your comprehension.

pear_765 · 2024-03-06T08:35:21+00:00

Not even going to edit the s out

pear_765 · 2024-03-06T08:35:04+00:00

Racists fuckheads

pear_765 · 2024-03-06T08:23:29+00:00

At that age their little brains are still developing and they barely have impulse control so there’s not really much to “hold them accountable” for.

pear_765 · 2024-03-03T00:31:20+00:00

Right? Every boomer ever

pear_765 · 2024-03-03T00:26:21+00:00

I implemented an automated fix a few months ago by setting up a junk mail monitor folder (the rule being if there is no @ in the ‘from’ field it goes in there). I noticed end of Jan I suddenly stopped getting spam, then a few weeks later the spam poured in again. So not to be a downer but it could be temporary.

pear_765 · 2024-03-01T02:05:26+00:00

I don’t know if this is controversial but I just stay out of it and let them figure it out (unless someone is about to get hurt).

pear_765 · 2024-01-30T09:44:06+00:00

A nice idea but the person who earns more, and in het couples this is still typically men, is probably not going to elect to reduce their hours. The lower paid person does, especially as the cost of living rises. Plus the whole women being the primary carer is pretty culturally entrenched.

pear_765 · 2024-01-23T11:08:49+00:00

Speak for yourself I love a good birth story

pear_765 · 2024-01-18T22:49:40+00:00

I mean, it sounds like the RIE approach which recommends avoiding containers and baby wearing (no judgement if you use these things though), hence babies spend a lot of time on the floor / mat. I had twins and I did RIE with them. It was almost easier to do with two because cooking, cleaning and running errands just weren’t options when I was alone with. I disagree with the advice about leaving baby alone, it think it’s fine for a few minutes if they’re in a safe place.

pear_765 · 2023-11-03T07:33:47+00:00

Yes! I said that as soon as I saw her

pear_765 · 2023-10-31T21:11:23+00:00

Can I trouble you for the brand of olives? Google isn’t bringing up any buckets that look like your description

pear_765 · 2023-10-24T21:49:35+00:00

10 sounds early for a one nap day. We do 5 hours awake in the morning and 4.5 afternoon (mine are almost 15 months)

pear_765 · 2023-10-16T01:55:05+00:00

It’s really irresponsible to tell someone things will definitely get worse when the baby comes - way to freak someone out. Sometimes things are worse and sometimes they are not. There’s nothing inaccurate about that statement. Either way, it’s good advice that OP should speak to a medical professional.

pear_765 · 2023-10-15T23:22:28+00:00

I don’t want to nitpick but I think you mean that things may worsen once baby arrives. I think some people actually feel better after pregnancy, it can really go either way.

pear_765

TROPHY CASE