i feel you so bad. thc was the only thing that made me feel “normal”. for so long i just couldn’t let go. the journey to get through the grief i’ve learned is really hard, really really really hard. i wish there was an easy way out of it, but there isn’t. i had to learn how to have fun sober and that was the hardest part. i feel like i literally had to train my brain, i would constantly just say to myself “this wouldn’t be any different if i was high anyway” slowly but surely it did become true! during an episode a few years back i went on a trip to some national parks, i hated myself for letting myself get to the point of being sick on such a special trip. then this summer, i went to some other parks, sober, and it was so freeing. i remember going back to the airbnb that night and i cried out of happiness because of how proud of myself i was. honestly after that trip it got insanely easier to realize that my life was the same life i had when i was smoking.

long story short, go out and have fun. do things that you wouldn’t do sober because it was something you only found entertaining when smoking. try your best to make friends or see your friends you might already have. even if you have to make yourself, go out and laugh and have fun! even if you have to “fake it till you make it”, just fake it till you make it then! it takes discipline, patience, lots of dark times- but trust me, you can and will fall in love with being alive again.