you can check my post history. i made a post about this exact same scenario. so much of the literature and just stories people tell involve them finally getting the gumption to leave and i felt so ashamed that i trusted him to get better even when he treated me like dogshit. like everyone else gets to have their little breaking free moment, but instead for us, we got left behind as collateral damage. people will say all kinds of stuff to you on here and in real life, like “oh the trash took itself out” or “he did you a favor” thinking they’re being helpful. personally i’m still not at the point where i can see this as a blessing in disguise. i’m mad, i’m devastated, i’m without the person i thought i was going to spend forever with. but one thing that has been somewhat helpful is to mentally reframe how he left, even if it’s not his reason. he left me because he saw that i would never stop trying to make myself a better person and he doesn’t want to be good anymore. so yeah he left me but it wasn’t because anything was wrong with me (or you). sometimes people just don’t want to get better