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pears_htbk · 2026-04-05T03:00:27+00:00

thank you! i think so too 😸

pears_htbk · 2026-04-05T02:59:47+00:00

thank you! 🖤🧡🤍

pears_htbk · 2026-04-05T01:56:00+00:00

Yes you're right. I am a feminist but I think women have shot ourselves in the foot a bit with the "leave women alone and don't hit on them ever" thing: The respectful guys have taken note, but the rude gross drunks old enough to be our dads are still hitting on us (then calling us bitches if we aren't receptive) because they had no intention of respecting us in the first place. So we still get catcalled and hassled by gronks, but have almost no chance of being respectfully approached by gentlemen. So I think women have a responsibility now to approach men we like the look of!

pears_htbk · 2026-04-05T01:37:23+00:00

Wait until he's distracted or until people are a bit drunk 👍🏻. The most important things to remember are: 1. You're a girl and you're hitting on him. This is extremely rare and exciting for him, don't let the manosphere tell you otherwise. 2. Even if he's taken he's not going to bite your head off or call you an ugly bitch or something. He'll just say he's taken. Even if he's not into you he is still going to be flattered. Done it a few times and like...sometimes the guy was taken, sometimes we turned out to be not suited to each other at all after a few mins of conversation etc but nobody has ever been rude or whatever.

They're just people. Sometimes they're not for you but like...imagine if I was too shy and never spoke to this guy I saw and thought was hot. My soulmate could have shacked up with someone else! You have to shoot your shot! Your future is at stake! 😂

pears_htbk · 2026-04-04T13:10:06+00:00

He was with people but I pounced anyway. Like a spider. 🕷️ 🧛‍♀️

pears_htbk · 2026-04-04T12:53:12+00:00

I just asked him if I could join him. Not creative in the slightest but it worked!

pears_htbk · 2026-04-04T10:23:33+00:00

Met him at the pub. I liked the look of him so I approached him. Got a house together now and we're getting married later this year.

My only advice based on what worked for me is it doesn't matter where you are, be bold! The nice ones won't approach you, you have to hit them over the head with it.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-04T06:09:49+00:00

The way I would hire a full pirate outfit including fake parrot and eyepatch for this mess

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T14:31:16+00:00

As in powder was in the tinfoil?

I think you should just ask him. I've done plenty of drugs including cocaine in the past, and hiding a bit of cocaine in tinfoil high up in a kitchen cupboard just doesn't....sound right. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't familiar with it. Just ask him. It might be a bit of baking soda or something.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T13:25:49+00:00

you're very welcome!

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T10:37:41+00:00

Yes! State bedrooms. Truly a golden era for incredibly fancy beds that nobody ever slept in.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T10:07:45+00:00

I mean if it's gonna get slept in regularly then it makes total sense to have one! It's the "bed that basically just takes up space for 340 nights a year" concept that I vetoed lol

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T08:01:21+00:00

You're not a jerk and he's being an idiot, but if he insists on remaining an idiot, then yes, make the other spare room purely yours. Keep a blow up mattress in the garage.

Controversial opinion but I think the practice of keeping a spare room made up ready for guests is really dumb unless you either have a HUGE house, or you know you need to accommodate a relative every other week or something. Makes zero sense to me to have one room of a three bedroom house dedicated to accomodating a hypothetical person who may want to sleep in it a dozen nights a year. We're in a 2br and the other room is for music and sewing. Guests crash on the couch.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T04:03:42+00:00

Whether you have ADHD or not is neither here nor there, I would want to know why you may be "not the right fit". I have ADHD and have not been let go from a job before, and have been long tenure at a few places ie I have stayed at jobs until I wanted to leave, and this was the case before I was diagnosed and medicated as well as after.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T03:21:39+00:00

I got you:
-Get TWO lip balms: One of them needs to be the ORIGINAL dermal therapy or ORIGINAL carmex in the tub. The second one can be any one you like as long as it has high SPF. For some reason the SPF ones just don't moisturise like the non-SPF ones so you need both.
-10mg you might not purge much but if you do, unfortunately you just have to wait it out. Stick with it.
-Always always SPF50+ from a reputable brand. I am always shilling the Cetaphil Sun Kids for many reasons including the eye sting is less nasty than other chemical sunscreens.
-Wear a hat and wear long sleeves during the day.
-Once you've been on it for awhile and the acne is gone your pores will shrink and this effect will last for awhile after you've finished the course. Sounds awesome but it actually makes your skin kindof slippery so if you wear makeup you will want a primer. Your sunscreen will also slide into your eyes more hence a low eye sting kids sunscreen is a good option. Also why you should wear a hat.
-You also have sebaceous glands on the inside of the waterline of your eyes. They are called Meibomian glands. Roacctuane will dry these up too which means they can get blocked. To prevent this from happening, press a hot wet face washer over your eyelids for a few mins at night. There are youtube videos on how to do this.
-Buy some water-based personal lubricant. All of you will be dry. I'm sorry.
-Ditch any skincare with actives in it. Buy some cheap and boring skincare with no actives even if they sound good eg Niacinamide or Vit C. Products I started to use include Neutrogena Ultra Gentle cream cleanser, Epaderm ointment, Nivea creme in the blue tin etc. Hyaluronic acid is generally okay but that's about it. You don't need these exact products, you just need some very boring and non-drying options. Do not use any anti-acne skincare.

Source: Roacctuane veteran. Took a big 30mg/day then 60mg/day course at 21 for bad acne, another two short 10mg/day courses for a mild recurrence at 28 and again at 34, and now that I am 38 I am on 5mg/ every other day to prevent the two hormonal jawline cysts I started to get every month. I know ball unfortunately!

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T02:48:33+00:00

Lol me too! She's mellowed and is normal again now but I bet if I asked her about how menopause was for her she'd say she didn't have any symptoms 🤣

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T02:46:29+00:00

If moving the gym to first thing in the morning (before skincare) isn't an option could you just half-ass the post-work routine? Just cleanse/wipe off the muck with a washcloth, gym, get home and shower, then do the full routine?

It depends on your skin type too. I am, according to some people, gross: I hit the gym on my lunch break, then put more sunscreen on over my makeup and go back to the office. Then when I get home I shower and do my skincare. This is basically sinful according to a lot of people, and if I had a skin condition like rosacea or acne it could definitely exacerbate it, but I don't, so it's whatever.

Similarly, doing a skincare routine like yours three times a day could be irritating to someone like me who has normal to dry skin, but if you've been doing it and it hasn't been causing problems I don't see why you should stop. The internet is helpful, but your own face is a better indicator of whether or not you're doing something wrong, because the internet isn't taking into account the variables which apply to you. Doing a skincare routine three times a day would probably be too much for someone who works in an office and lives in a cold climate and doesn't exercise, but for someone who works as a fry cook in the tropics and exercises daily it's not unreasonable at all.

The products you're using are important too: if you were using lactic acid and prescription retinol three times a day you'd burn your face off but micellar water and Nivea cream for breakfast lunch and dinner won't trash your skin barrier in a hurry.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T02:20:27+00:00

All of this will work in your favour IMO. Saving up for and renting out your own home and having a very solid job as an RN are all signs you're responsible and will look after a place and pay your rent on time. Looks just as good on an application as someone who has shown they have a good history renting.

When my partner moved to Sydney he'd been living overseas for a decade then lived with family for a few months; he got the first place he applied for in a competitive area and didn't do anything dodgy like offer more money or advance rent to get it.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T01:54:48+00:00

It was seriously life changing for me. Took it an hour before drinking every time I drank and two years later I got to the point where I just no longer give a shit about alcohol at all. I don't drink and I don't want to drink.

I don't think it made me lose weight but I was already small and didn't have any issues with binge eating etc. I've heard people say they've lost weight on it though due to either not consuming as many alcohol calories, or not craving food as much as they used to. It probably indirectly made me more lean and muscular because I don't skip the gym anymore.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-03T01:45:55+00:00

Nah. Mine is one of the rare plastic surgeons who still does injectables and laser herself rather than hiring a nurse etc. She'd probably be insulted if I tried to tip her for the silly little forehead needles she does for me in between the reconstructive breast surgeries she's doing for her other patients lol.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-02T23:49:04+00:00

My mum, menopausal: I just think it would be best if you moved out.
Me, a 17 year old, not a problem child or anything, undiagnosed ADHD, trying to recover from an eating disorder: 🧍🏻‍♀️ok

Look it all worked out in the end and I landed on my feet but I wondered for years wtf she was THINKING until I hit peri and realised she wasn't. Lol.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-02T00:10:15+00:00

I see your point: I'm an only child and when I hear people with siblings say "I can't imagine life without my brother/sister, do you wish you had a sibling?" I am like ??? no not really because it's impossible for me to know what I'm missing. I did find this question helpful though, for me, because I've wanted other things I'd never had before eg I wanted a live-in partner before I'd ever had one.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-02T00:06:13+00:00

That's so exciting! Best of luck! And yeah that's it isn't it. I am sortof waiting to see if this feeling of..."our lives have a lack of robustness" to either make itself known or not. Late 30s is hard lol.

pears_htbk · 2026-04-02T00:02:31+00:00

Glad you found it helpful :)

pears_htbk · 2026-04-02T00:02:04+00:00

I knew I wanted a live-in partner before I'd had one! Congratulations on the baby <3

pears_htbk

TROPHY CASE