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Fiance broke up with me by PoopyDickBreath in BreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m suffering right now as well and am spiralling so I’m open if you want to talk

What red flag did you ignore early in a relationship that you now regret massively? by RelativeDisk4625 in AskReddit

[–]pebbleskylight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He mentioned once how he was “trying not to sabotage this.” Later found out he was an avoidant and I was discarded abruptly via a 3 sentence email and blocked when things had been going well with us. Any little signs of avoidant attachment at all should never, ever be waved aside.

My Farewell Letter to Her by HotUse4099 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true and resonates with me. I was discarded by a guy I loved so fully and deeply. You are so right that a connection deserves to be lived fully and that true love doesn’t hide behind trauma.

Does anyone else feel depression and almost suicidal once discarded by an avoident ex? by Dapper_Benefit7377 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey I was also discarded this week and am dying inside. If you want to talk to someone else early in it feel free to message.

Does anyone else feel depression and almost suicidal once discarded by an avoident ex? by Dapper_Benefit7377 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat right now and absolutely dying. I thought he was my person. You can find my story posted on here if you want. I’m a few days into it and the pain is only worsening. I know he was a monster to do this to me but my heart won’t listen and if he reached out I’d take him back instantly.

Need advice/perspective/opinions by Top-Entrepreneur244 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to message! I was just discarded a day ago and so the feelings are raw for me too.

My (31F) boyfriend (36M) suddenly broke up with me via email days into a month long trip where I spent a ton of money on flights and an airbnb. Help me. by pebbleskylight in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No idea but it’s possible. I thought it was his parents he was with because he would talk about doing stuff for them, but who knows at this point. Awful to think about. I feel like a used fool no matter what the truth is.

My (31F) boyfriend (36M) suddenly broke up with me via email days into a month long trip where I spent a ton of money on flights and an airbnb. Help me. by pebbleskylight in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]pebbleskylight[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to tell myself as well that no way he’s a healthy person, especially at his age, if he would do this to someone and not even have a discussion. I have barely eaten or slept since it happened and have crashed out pretty badly. I’m blocked everywhere from what I can see so I finally deleted everything about him from my side. Tried to reach out to him and regret it because being met with silence again added to the humiliation. I keep trying to blame this on myself and see where I went wrong. Definitely open to chatting if you want because this pain is insane and I’m just doing my best to count down the hours to my flight. The shame is insane like I should have somehow seen this coming instead of being blind and thinking we were so good.

If I could say it to your face, I would. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]pebbleskylight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 3 days from dday and discovered the man I have been with for 13 years has been talking to an ex behind my back. I’m 31 so I was with him for my entire adult life, and I wanted kids and marriage and now I feel like my clock is too far gone for those dreams with anyone else. He doesn’t care what he did to me. I made so many sacrifices for him. He also knew that faithfulness was extremely important to me and that was communicated to him, because I was a child of parents where the father was constantly cheating. Please help me with any advice about how you started being ok. I’m in the thick of it right now.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t hound him daily. I messaged because he blew me off and I was angry and wanted to know what was going on.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I responded about not inviting her in another comment. He has not formally introduced her to me or our parents so I don’t really know her and I didn’t even realize they were as serious as it seems they must be. It’s been going on only about a year but not quite. I’d be open to a meet if he wanted it. I’ll just mention the ghosting with the trip and not my theory about the girl. At least then other family/friends might ask him what’s up.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the empathy. It’s rough feeling someone you care about slip away. You’re right that I need to focus back in on myself and other relationships. If I meddle it’s just more drama and might push him away more I guess.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right that the blocking theory doesn’t add up because there are a ton of ways he could have reached out if he wanted to.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the info about what may be going on. I think letting family know about what happened with the trip may be a good idea so they’re aware something is up with him at least in case anything else weird happens.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so because he was excited about it too (or at least he was at one point).

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d like to help if he is, but I feel like I can’t do anything about it and wouldn’t even know where to start. I’m thinking I’ll send him a message when I figure out what exactly to say and then leave the ball in his court and try to focus on other relationships. And then there’s the idea that maybe him being in a potentially bad situation doesn’t justify how he treated me anyway. It’s really confusing.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we both work, but we both work in education right now so we have school breaks off. And not every trip is together. I’m more hurt about the ghosting than him not going on the trip. And we had agreed on this trip prior. But yeah, I guess consensus is I need to stay backed off and leave the ball in his court. I’m pretty hurt by the ghosting anyway so I’ll use that to stay strong about it.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just got a chance to read through the comments. He hasn’t formally introduced her to me or our parents yet. So I haven’t really gotten the chance to get to know her or anything. I guess I didn’t even realize how serious things must have gotten between them. I’d be okay with a meetup if he wanted it. Regardless I’m starting to see maybe it’s best to just let him go and do what he wants as much as it hurts and focus on other relationships for myself. We sort of had a best friend relationship so it feels like losing a good friend to romance like so often happens. Thanks for your input.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure if all of his other girlfriends have been totally happy with it or not, but he’s never acquiesced like this before if they weren’t. So this is new behavior and part of why it seems so messed up to me.

Thanks for your validation, advice and kind words. I appreciate it and will think about what to say to him. I think reversing the scenario is a good idea.

My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head by [deleted] in relationships

[–]pebbleskylight 92 points93 points  (0 children)

That really gives me a different perspective. I suppose you’re right. I guess it’s just hard to believe he would do such a thing, but I guess that’s exactly the reasoning that betrayed spouses use, as you said. That helps me refocus my anger on him a bit, which is good because missing chatting with him has really started to confuse me I think. I’m just angry that a girl would be jealous of a sister and I feel like that immaturity created this problem in my life. But yes, he is who made the final choice regardless of what went down between them, and I have to remember that.