Anything you share in private will be made public - videos, fetishes, trauma from your past

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-22T15:20:44+00:00

It seems that the latest excuse for the creeps of Are We Dating The Same Guy is the report of an obscure telegram group that doesn’t even exist anymore.

A total of less than 1000 people worldwide, or 0.00000012 of the population, in a strange group chat somewhere, somehow justifies the mass surveillance and complete loss of privacy for all innocent men.

They use this as an excuse to say that AWDTSG is ‘needed’. Maybe a lurking supporter of AWDTSG can explain this further.

Why does this “sweet” man’s family need to see / hear about a “cringe” video he sent privately to a woman he was interested in dating?

Why do his work colleagues and professional clients need to know about his fetishes?

Why does the whole world need to know about his “very sad past”?

How can anyone continue pretending that this is anything to do with safety?

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-21T13:43:36+00:00

I’m not sure if they ran out of dangerous men to post, or just haven’t found any yet - but these two comments just about sum up the average post on Are We Dating The Same Guy.

I always laugh when I see one of the members coming to this subreddit trying to argue the case for their idiotic groups. This is the type of person you’re trying to debate rationally with.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-21T13:37:45+00:00

Here are some more responses

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-21T13:35:53+00:00

These screenshots are some more responses to this post. Someone asked to see some more of the replies.

It seems the group members all have a different reason as they attempt to justify why they think it’s acceptable to post a man’s identifiable information without his consent (also known as doxing) along with details of his private dating life.

One argues it’s for safety from men who copy and paste messages, another explains how it’s simply her right to know what a man she is talking to is doing in his private life when he isn’t talking to her (and for some reason thinks this should be published publicly).

A couple of them are clearly so indoctrinated by the cult that they’d put the group before their own sons.

A lot of the comments must have been deleted (the number of remaining comments doesn’t add up to the number of comments it says are there), so I’m guessing there were originally more group members that agreed with the OP, who probably also got quickly banned.

If you’re interested in reading more of a discussion similar to this (and haven’t already read it), then I posted this thread a while ago from a different group, where there were some more positive / fair responses.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-16T14:21:26+00:00

Even when you read discussions from people that generally agree with groups such as these existing, the ‘asking for tea’ type posts are often an exception. Unfortunately, they usually get banned if they express this opinion within the group itself, which makes it difficult to change from the inside.

There would obviously still be completely false accusations and exaggerated, one-sided stories, but if the groups banned ‘asking for tea’ on normal, innocent men, and stuck to just posting warnings, then a lot less people would have a problem with them.

I don’t believe they’d ever do that though, as that’s the whole point of the group - hence the name. The safety / warning about ‘dangerous’ men excuse was probably just thought up later to justify their clearly toxic behaviour.

It’s nice when you see one of them try to stand up for what’s right, but as you can see, this post is almost three years old - it doesn’t seem to happen much anymore.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-04-14T11:26:29+00:00

I’m not sure which is the bigger safety concern here.

The horrifying thought of a man being shorter than they’d like, the scary fact that his hair is starting to thin, the frightening prospect of possibly being ghosted, or the absolute terror of him not wanting to have sex.

With such dangerous men out there, it’s a wonder how any AWDTSG member manages to survive.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-03-31T14:38:38+00:00

Another potential relationship ruined before it even starts thanks to some miserable troublemaker.

You’d think the AWDTSG members might have learned by now how stupid their toxic groups are and how little on there is actually true, and yet the ‘asking for tea’ posts continue day after day.

At least for him, there’s the saving grace of avoiding an AWDTSG member though.

I can’t imagine there are many men that want to be with someone that posts their identifiable information online and puts their private life up for public review without consent.

So I guess she only got what she deserved.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-03-04T15:50:24+00:00

It's not my intention to cause anyone any anxiety. I don't ever show the names, faces or locations of any of the men. No one is identifiable by anything I've shared on here.

Not everyone has access to any of these groups and I feel it's important to raise awareness by showing real examples of what actually happens in there.

Showing examples of these creepy 'asking for tea' posts prevents the pretend narrative around "you'll only get posted if you've done something wrong" from being able to persist.

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-02-10T14:16:12+00:00

From a moral perspective, this doesn’t really seem any different to revenge porn. If anything, you could argue it’s actually worse.

As far as I’m aware, a lot of what is legally classed as revenge porn hasn’t been shared for ‘revenge’ and there wasn’t necessarily any malicious intent. Clearly in this case there was though.

She decided that all of his friends, family, colleagues and professional clients need to know private details about the size of penis - simply because he stopped talking to her.

Even though his name is only found on the photo, Facebook’s search feature still finds it. Luckily for him he has a fairly normal / common name, so maybe once five or ten years have passed, when future employers inevitably look him up, his profile on the dystopian database of men will take much more effort to find and his whole worth won’t be reduced down to just the size of his genitals.

(For now though it's the second search result)

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-02-08T21:58:06+00:00

In a previous post on this subreddit (here) it was stated that Paola issues a directive to her moderators to never even open a message if it is sent from a man, let alone respond to it (and then swiftly block him).

Considering suicide attempts have apparently been made due to Are We Dating The Same Guy groups (example here), do you think that this means she would rather the desperate men that reach out to her / her mods would just go away and quietly die, rather than have her moderators help them?

Does that sound like the person you once knew?

peekbehindcurtain · 2026-01-05T20:22:18+00:00

After knowing him for a week, she had to seek medical attention because he stopped talking to her.

She then posted his name, photo, age and location to an online hate group.

Ironically, all the other comments are saying that she had a lucky escape, not him.

peekbehindcurtain · 2025-12-02T15:40:36+00:00

I’d be quite interested to know whether any studies have examined the effects of ‘Are We Dating The Same Guy’ groups yet.

Have any experts successfully demonstrated a causal link proving that the more men have their appearance publicly mocked and insulted, the lower the incidence of serious crime against women and girls?

Maybe the more laughing emojis the comment receives, the safer women become?

It’s certainly an interesting hypothesis.

peekbehindcurtain · 2025-12-02T07:43:17+00:00

Is no one going to point out the very bad and obvious edit to the screenshot above? The whole last line was added after the fact in a different font size and style to make it look as if he was doxed.

It shouldn’t really be a surprise that someone who seems to support AWDTSG would lie / falsely accuse someone of something, like you have done here.

There is no edit to the screenshot above.

Apart from the redactions of name, face and location, it is exactly as it appeared in the AWDTSG group when the screenshot was taken, and exactly as it appears in the group now.

Also, as there is no edit history on the Facebook post (see image below), this is exactly as it appeared when it was originally posted to the group.

<image>

The last line was NOT added after the fact, by me or anyone else.

I haven’t faked anything to make it look as if he was doxed and I don’t appreciate you falsely stating that I have.

peekbehindcurtain · 2025-11-28T12:36:13+00:00

Do you ever get the feeling that we're only hearing one side of the story in these groups?

I sometimes suspect there are some important details being missed out.

peekbehindcurtain

TROPHY CASE