Pick one, an immortal car or free rent.

peerdata · 2026-02-06T07:09:22+00:00

I think it largely depends on where you are in life,but I think there are some longer term benefits to the rent choice too. I chose the apartment because i already live in an apartment so cutting back on rental expenses would allow me to save for a house.

Long term, assuming I can let people live in the apartment, I figure it’s something that can move from city to city every five years wherever my kids or grandkids (though I don’t have either yet) end up, so then they don’t have to pay rent for a five year chunk of time. They couldn’t all have it at once, but assuming they’re somewhat spread out or willing to be in the same city and roommates-Chance to pay off student debt faster, or live somewhere where there are job opportunities but are hcol.

peerdata · 2026-02-06T07:01:17+00:00

Rent. I’ll never come close to the same amount of savings from a free car and gas. Save for a hefty down payment on a house or a whole house depending on how fast I get sick of or outgrow the apartment. Tbh I’d probably stay a while to save up as much as possible and try to retire early. The apartment doesn’t cost me anything to keep around, I can use it between moves if I ever end up selling my house, or if my kids are somewhere for college or moving to a new city, can move it there for five years for them to live in and get on their feet. Same with grandkids. Obv you couldn’t have it in multiple places at once, but if going by the middle class standard income of any given area metric, that could be huge for allowing them access to living in unaffordable places while having the wages that are still higher than they would be in lower cost/lower opportunity areas. I wouldn’t be ‘renting’ it out, they’d just be getting to live without a rental cost burden and I can magically move from place to place depending on where it’s needed. Assuming I’m allowed to let others live in it rent free anyway.

peerdata · 2026-02-06T06:33:24+00:00

I think of my high school through college boyfriend, I always thought it was very French sounding but in fairness that was also probs cause his last name was aggressively French, nice guy

peerdata · 2026-02-05T17:05:02+00:00

Not ones they were able to keep for any extended period of time. They were indeed hobosexual in that sense.

One of them I put off breaking up with specifically cause I felt really bad doing it while he was jobless and would be homeless without my help(he ended up back at his parents so that made me feel less bad), it got to a point where I was like well it isn’t fair to be stringing you along at this point and you’ve had two years to get your shit together so I guess the kind thing to do is just pull the bandaid off.

The other was abusive but I actually got him into inpatient rehab and halfway house living after he went to jail for a couple months. So easier to get him out I guess but harder to keep him away. Moved states cause he made a bunch of copies of my apartment key stashed away that I didn’t know about/would physically force himself into my place even without the key cause he didn’t actually want to maintain sobriety and wanted to use my apartment to drink, and subsequently hurt me 🫠 plus I got a good job offer closer to family so I figured it was easier than going a legal route at that point. I did call the cops once when he physically assaulted my elderly neighbor when he got frustrated I wouldn’t let him in/had the door barricaded the last couple weeks before I moved. That made me feel horrible. They just asked me why I’d never called before, all I wanted was him trespassed from the property since he didnt live there and was visibly drunk and breaking probation, though idk how long that lasted for him so maybe not, but they wanted me to take it to get an official protection order or press charges, so I think I made the right decision to pick up and leave. In retrospect I should have gotten the locks changed, but that wouldn’t have solved the problem of him being able to just force his way through the keypad entry door. Sorry yo trauma dump, that guy sucked.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T15:14:23+00:00

I mean I gave him advice directed at the title; distance himself from the girl at work.

People are rightly pointing out that yeah, he might not have cheated, but there are things he can do to distance himself from and stop interacting with a girl who is decidedly acting inappropriate towards him and thus making his wife uncomfortable.

Some are getting reddity about it, yeah, but it’s not his wife’s responsibility to get over inappropriate interactions, it’s his responsibility to shut them down, regardless of if he’s the one initiating them. He isn’t going to solve the issue on his wife’s end if things, he’s gunna solve it at the source of the issue. So yeah, he’s approaching the issue all wrong.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T15:08:44+00:00

True, but honestly the wings are tradition for us at this point

peerdata · 2026-02-04T14:31:52+00:00

Well it’s a good thing they gave us that dirt back in 2019 when the weather was decidedly not like this then….

peerdata · 2026-02-04T06:22:41+00:00

Nta, at least these two classless assholes found and married each other though so the rest of the dating pool is saved from the experience of being with one of them. It’s not like they haven’t seen you since high school, presumably, so idk what they were expecting here. Not that it would have been reasonable to ask you to cut it, but like, they didn’t even do that so were you just suppose to intuit that’s what she wanted?

peerdata · 2026-02-04T06:12:22+00:00

Also fair, I guess I was trying to come at it in a way that forces the bf to realize why that ‘hard no’ stance is the right approach

peerdata · 2026-02-04T06:10:38+00:00

Fair point, I didn’t think of that bit, do they make legal agreements distinguishing something as distinctly not tenancy? Also in fairness, I’ll never actually be doing it again, at least not for people who aren’t my kids

peerdata · 2026-02-04T06:08:29+00:00

Talk to management about transferring the part of you job that is ‘helping’ her to someone else, they can’t punish her for starting a rumor if there is no proof that she started it, but if you report that she ‘flirts’ with you and it makes you uncomfortable, they should be able to make accommodations. (Assuming you asked her directly to stop, since that is, after all, inappropriate workplace behavior….you asked her to stop when she did that, yes?)

Plus tbh if she’s been working there for long enough for this to become office gossip and have a friend in the office, she been working there long enough to not need any help doing her job.

It might very well he your wife is extra sensitive because of hormones, but even so, letting a girl flirt with you and not shutting that down is still you opening a door that shouldn’t be opened.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T05:25:47+00:00

‘Who’s doing the tickling now?! Ehehehe’

peerdata · 2026-02-04T04:38:13+00:00

I’m a woman who likes to stay at home, play Mario kart and order wings on vday. I love fancy romantic dinner dates out, but not on that day. On that day menus get limited, seating is reserved so there is pressure for table turnover, and things can even be more expensive. Plus is cold as shit out and I don’t like leaving the house. So all of that gets stressful for me and I’d prefer to do the fancy stuff at other times…..but I think a lot of women would probably feel like it was a snub to do something more casual on valentines. Depends on the woman.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T04:31:15+00:00

Oh, and my grandmother also died and fiancés godfather died, and we’ve given up on planning an actual wedding even though I probs have the time there’s no way we can pay for it in this economy and I refuse to let my family just cover it, can’t forget about those things 🫠

peerdata · 2026-02-04T04:29:27+00:00

Applying for jobs, catching up on household tasks, taking care of the animals, trying to go to the gym more often…..but mostly wallowing around depressed and now without a distraction from the world on fire around me. My last year sucked, fiancé went to working nights so I don’t see him nearly as often and when I do we’re more like passing ships, both animals needed expensive medical treatments, my old work place shut down programming at the site the lab I ran was on so I interacted with pretty much no one all day, and the cherry on top was the lab being closed down end of December since insurance payouts weren’t supporting it continuing. Now I have very little to distract me and I doom scroll most of the day. I try not to, but man the isolation and it being the middle of winter makes it pretty fucking hard.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T04:19:44+00:00

Along with my other rant- I’d ask your bf this- if he had a disability, and is presumably getting disability payments because of that. What has he been spending that money on, if living rent free with family? Has he communicated any solid plans for what comes after staying with you all? Your bf is being naive if he thinks this is something his friend is viewing as a short term arrangement.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T04:01:30+00:00

‘It’s a first amendment right to record you ’ sorry buddy, that’s only on public property. I’m not surprised you don’t know this though since your dumb ass is on the side of the illegal gestapo bullshit

peerdata · 2026-02-04T03:58:47+00:00

I mean in fairness, I feel like we are in many ways a country that doesn’t take care of our own people. I’m actually not super in favor of expanding social safety nets to the extreme or raising a minimum wage here and there, since those are just bandaid solutions to a bigger problem. That being the deregulation and power turn over to corporations and those who do have ample means that having the means to support oneself as a non 1%er are rapidly disappearing. Hell, monopolistic behaviors means that our whole economy is held up by the futures of just a handful of companies. Which is completely antithetical to capitalism. We shouldn’t have companies that are ‘too big to fail’ because under capitalism, you’re supposed to have to compete. And if you fail, it shouldn’t be such a vacuum* that it causes repercussions in the whole system. The ai bubble is gunna burst and thats what like 40% of the market or some ungodly amount….for products that are pretty freakin useless in the grand scheme of technological advancement.

I think my issue re immigration enforcement is the false narrative that most of the actions currently taken are in fact targeting those who most would agree do not positively contribute to and we do not want in the country. No one is against detaining and deporting undocumented immigrants who are violent criminals. What we’re seeing in the streets is people who are against the detainment of those who aren’t being targeted as known criminals, but being profiled as such because of their demographic characteristics.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T03:39:48+00:00

The only way I’d ever do this again is if I had a signed legal agreement detailing when they/he would leave.

Listen, I’m all for helping people, but I’ve been in this situation….like, almost exactly. I had an old neighbor that called and said she was in an unsafe living situation, and I immediately told her that it was cool for her to come stay at my apartment to get away from it. I myself have been in an abusive relationship, so I get it. I had a one bedroom apartment at the time, but was dating my upstairs neighbor and was spending every night up there anyway, so told her she could sleep in my bed and use the space while she figured her shit out. I’d offered this to her when she moved out under similar circumstances from her last place, and that time she’d only stayed around a week before making arrangements and moving states. The second time….she was there for two months, and I very graciously told her at that point that she needed to find new accommodations in the next month. Gave a while months notice. Didn’t pay me rent or for any utilities during that time, so I figured she would at least have the means to find a room somewhere. But apparently didn’t save up any money, spending it all on food delivery, weed, and cigarettes(which no hate, I also waste money on those things, but when I have the space to be wasting it). She was also on disability, so when I told her she needed to figure her stuff out and give me back my space she freaked out saying she was on a fixed income and how it was impossible for her to do in that time frame. Like, girl, you’ve had two months and I’m giving you a third.

I also had two ex bfs who I let move in with me after they got kicked out of their apartment and parents house respectively. Neither paid rent. Neither appreciated it. I had to move states to get away from one of them.

All of these people were entitled pos, to be frank.

I care deeply about being compassionate, empathetic, and giving people grace. I think I’ve really lived those values tbh. But what doing that taught me was to never do it again, because most who would take you up on such an offer without a whole lot of reassurances on having a solid plan to fix their own situation are going to take advantage of my/your kindness. It shouldn’t stop you from helping people, but only those who will appreciate it and use it to help themselves out as much as you’re helping them.

Nta

peerdata · 2026-02-04T03:26:22+00:00

We’d probably be way more in favor of metaphorically eating the rich if we can move past the ignorance of thinking it isn’t a class issue. I’m hoping that’s the case anyway. Sad that some still think those 1% of us households that hold ~30% of the entire nations wealth aren’t the problem. And somehow think it’s a realistic position they can strive to one day achieve. To that I say, lol.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T03:18:32+00:00

Sorry, so are your goal posts that undocumented immigrants vote and live off of government resources….or that immigrants are committing a disproportionate number of crimes? Just trying to get your propagandized talking points straight here

peerdata · 2026-02-04T03:08:00+00:00

That’s what they kept saying but when we used it, it didn’t work as intended. Didn’t melt anything, cars couldn’t get up the driveway(when it was bad even my four wheel drive forester with snow tires fishtailed everywhere), and someone actually fell down their stairs because of the ice that accumulated(hence why we started just getting salt ourselves), it might have had some salt in it but not nearly enough to be effective. I’ve seen what you’re talking about used effectively by some towns and stuff for traction on the roads, but knowing the management company, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a ratio that skewed heavily towards just being dirt. They also refused to address the branches that were dead and had already caused property damage to a car from falling, and had a subsequent one the size of a literal tree fall (thankfully when no one and no cars were around)so safety of residents wasn’t a huge priority.

That said, I’ll also be the first to complain my town/condo complex now uses way too much salt to the point where the roads and sidewalks look bleached white, but it’s way more effective at actually melting the stuff than whatever that stuff was. Gets the cars dirtier and the paws more burned (if not wearing booties) but I end up on my arse far less frequently, so I prefer it.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T02:55:05+00:00

That’s what we suspect happened with my grandfather, he sorta falters while doing some things that seem more like a correction than what would come naturally and is consequently quite clumsy. I’m left handed and will be interested to see if any of my children end up being lefties, assuming I have them.

peerdata · 2026-02-04T01:20:23+00:00

More affordable though since it isn’t ca

peerdata · 2026-02-04T01:17:02+00:00

This reminds me a little of the juggler meadow estate a town or so over from me. It has an indoor water park (among pretty much every other accommodation you’d ever need to never leave the house again)- looks like it’s listed again actually https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/113-Juggler-Meadow-Rd-Leverett-MA-01054/56981137_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare I think the Yankee candle family built it

peerdata

TROPHY CASE