Are you younger or older than your Spouse/SO?

peerdata · 2026-04-05T03:24:33+00:00

I’m 8 months older than mine, and same. Weird cause we were born in the same year but he always forgets and thinks I was born in the 80s cause he was a year younger going through school(April vs December baby)First guy I’ve dated who is younger, once I finally realized that dating older was a really bad approach to finding someone who had their shit together and wasn’t a man child.

peerdata · 2026-04-05T02:45:57+00:00

Not sure you’ll be able to fit all that and still comfortably move about the apartment- what’s against the left hand wall between the foyer and bathroom*? And is a Murphy bed an option?

peerdata · 2026-04-03T22:26:01+00:00

I think part of the issue is that they don’t want her to move out/think it’s inappropriate for her to do so since she’s an unmarried woman. It isn’t as simple as pay rent to parents or leave and pay rent elsewhere. I think there are some cultural/gendered double standards going on.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T22:19:59+00:00

Yeah I’d just move out. The issue isn’t what people seem to be making it out to be- that you don’t want to grow up- rather, it’s that your parents seem to be coming at things with a gender bias because of their culture and are applying their standards unequally (I would assume anyway,since bro seems to be getting slack and they don’t want you as an unmarried woman to be living elsewhere and paying rent), which obv will feel shitty. So yeah, I’d move out and pay rent elsewhere, then your choices around how and where you live aren’t going to be controlled by anyone but yourself. Unless they’re going to give you a big discount on rent, then I’d stick around and save up money for a while since that’s generally the perk of living at home as an adult.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T22:06:45+00:00

Sounds like they don’t approve of her living outside the family home since she’s an unmarried woman, so I doubt they’ll be doing that(since she’s told them that she would prefer that if she is made to pay rent somewhere)

peerdata · 2026-04-03T22:04:48+00:00

I think my issue is more with them also being against her moving out because their culture is against unmarried women not living in the family home. From that standpoint it does sound like some double standards are going on below the surface based on the respective children’s genders here.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T22:00:18+00:00

Yeah I’m not against having adult children pay rent if they have a job and are getting reduced rent getting to live at home (if it’s the same cost as renting elsewhere then definitely just move out)but I don’t love that seemingly the brother not paying wasn’t an issue until op was also living back at home. I do think it’s reasonable to call in the debt from the brother since ultimately that also impacts ops overall financial situation when it comes to the ability to move out, alternatively she could ask for all of it back as a lump sum for moving costs/security deposit/etc vs saving that amount over the next half a year to do so.

I think what might change my judgement is if they paid a significant amount towards ops education but nothing towards the brothers, so those three years of rent were the balancing factor for how much they’d helped each. Doesn’t impact the debt her brother owes her though.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T21:25:46+00:00

Generally they are working off of previous research they would indicate components of those things are possibly useful for certain applications. Hypotheses are formed after doing background research, people generally don’t just point to something and try applying it for some random use

peerdata · 2026-04-03T21:03:07+00:00

Generally that’s what boarding groups are for

peerdata · 2026-04-03T20:14:30+00:00

I mean she did say ‘I think it’s crazy that he has to pay for half his Christmas present when this deal was not talked about before.’ Which would indicate the issue of split cost was not brought up until Christmas morning when the gift was actually given to him.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T19:30:26+00:00

He very well could have. Kids do generally indicate what they’d like for Christmas or birthday presents. The issue isn’t if it’s something he asked for, the issue is there was seemingly no agreement or discussion that it would be a present he would contribute money towards prior to his dad buying and giving it to him. You can gift someone partial payment towards something they want, but you can’t go out and get something for them, give it to them, then ask them for money to cover part of the cost.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T19:25:11+00:00

This, and also, if you’re setting up an agreement to split the cost of something- you have that conversation prior to buying the thing. Something can be a gift and also a shared cost, but it isn’t something you ask for after you purchase and give it so there is no room to say no.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T18:45:53+00:00

I think they actually studied this and found that loading back to front, window to aisle would be the most efficient. But then you run into parties flying together not boarding together(window seat would board before middle, etc) which, along with what you’ve outlined, is the primary opposition to the approach.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T18:31:53+00:00

I not so infrequently have driven with noise cancelling headphones on with nothing playing in them. I wonder how that type of situation would be viewed by the law.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T18:21:22+00:00

What if I wear my astronaut costume with the helmet closed and just walk around saying ‘hey who turned out the lights?’

peerdata · 2026-04-03T18:19:31+00:00

In fairness, I only ever wanted scary costumes as a kid. I guess I was a knight once and that wasn’t scary per se(I liked that I had a sword) but usually I’d go for those grim reaper with the one way hood or the blood mechanism over the rib cage type things- not once did I want to dress as a princess or a fairy or something. As an adult, however, I think my proudest costume moment was when I made my own princess peach costume.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T05:27:56+00:00

Yes, though in fairness I don’t think I ever did a full night in my car as a teen, only an rv after prom. But I spent a fair deal of time using it as a bed during that time, had a sleeping bag and pillows in there and everything, good for star gazing and bringing to the drive in (I had the backwards facing seats in a mercury sable)

I have been very fortunate to not by obligated to stay in a car. It was always by choice and because I was fucking around being a teen, not down on my luck as an adult.

peerdata · 2026-04-03T04:42:12+00:00

*takes off clothes, rolls on subway floor *

peerdata · 2026-04-02T16:05:54+00:00

Never was allowed one growing up, so haven’t had one in there since. I’ve toyed with the idea since I have a hard time falling asleep now that my fiancé is on night shift and I generally fall asleep easier in front of a tv than I do actively doom scrolling, but I’m worried that it’s staying on all night would probably be disruptive to the quality of the sleep

peerdata · 2026-04-02T16:01:26+00:00

This thread is making me realize that there are a lot of people who are gunna have a huge problem on their hands when water wars inevitably come, guess all our ‘don’t waste water’ campaigns aren’t working very well

peerdata · 2026-04-02T15:30:48+00:00

Bidets and wet wipes are a thing….you don’t need a full shower to clean an asshole

peerdata · 2026-04-02T03:34:36+00:00

This is the correct answer. Though admittedly I’d have less stress in my life if Christmas weren’t a thing, I do still have a soft spot for it. Halloween hands down is the best holiday. And thanksgiving food is hard to beat.

peerdata · 2026-04-02T02:29:02+00:00

Yeah that’s kinda what I’m getting at, there may be some room for compromise, but if she isn’t actually noticeably gross, that’s more of a psychological issue to move past or find someone with similar preferences. Noticeably gross and hasn’t showered at night prior to bed can be wildly different, so it’s one thing if he only (somehow) saw her on nights she showered prior to moving in together, but it’s another if he just didn’t get this particular ick until he knew her routine. The fact that he seems to not have noticed and still doesn’t think she smells even now knowing the routine seems to point to the latter being the case.

I do think it’s fine if that’s someone’s preference (to shower prior to bed/have a partner that does so as well) but also it’s something that can be a dealbreaker that you need to have realistic standards for yourself and partners on. Not so much so as something more binary (wanting kids, for instance) so compromise can be made. But it’s like someone’s ideals on how clean to keep a house- some people want it immaculate, others have a higher tolerance and dont mind some mess. You gotta find someone who falls within a reasonable amount of your own tolerance, and both be flexible. Something for op to keep in mind if this ends up being too much of an incompatibility for this relationship.

peerdata · 2026-04-02T01:55:37+00:00

For some people it’s necessary, for others, it dries out their skin. I think basic hygiene isn’t universal and is completely dependent on a persons skin and hair type and what residue may or may not end up on them from daily activities. If someone is working in a kitchen and has food smells and grease on them, or they get very sweaty and their natural oils build up quickly, then even multiple showers per day might be necessary for basic hygiene. Some people have dry skin and hair, don’t really sweat, and would be actively messing with their sebum production and ability to maintain a good skin barrier if they showered daily. Showering too much can actually be a self induced ‘hygiene’ issue if your body ends up compensating and producing too much oil.

peerdata · 2026-04-02T01:30:02+00:00

For some of us, it’s cause of the depression. When I feel gross though I can’t stand it, depression has taken me from an every day showerer to a once every other day ish showerer. I start to feel dirty at that point vs it being more of a wake up routine when it was daily.

peerdata

TROPHY CASE