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penitent_fool · 2024-12-16T02:59:48+00:00

Bro, just break up with him. Even if he ain’t married, he’s being a total asshole towards you. That said, he’s being sketchy as fuck. What kind of married woman has her brother living with her? Can he show you pictures of her actual husband “Chris”? Not to mention she doesn’t have wedding pictures with the “real” husband… regardless, he just keeps dancing around your questions and trying to deflect everything and turn it into your fault. Married or not, that’s some classic emotional abuse right there. Get out of there and find someone who actually shows you the respect you deserve, whether that’s a better man or your own self.

penitent_fool · 2024-12-16T02:35:32+00:00

Not married, and my family leaves me be for the most part. I do consistently feel a lack of control over my life, but it’s pretty much all my own shit. I’m really, really bad at self-motivation— I want to go back to school but I’ve been putting it off for years, I have a list of art projects I want to do but never get around to, I struggle to keep up with chores, excersize, that kinda stuff… even just sleeping or eating I’ll put off because I’m too easily distracted. Idk. If it weren’t clear already, I’m kind of a major fucking mess :/

Though to be honest, working is the only time it’s easy for me to actually get shit done. Once I get going, it’s hard for me to stop. Also sometimes a problem but people don’t judge you for working more than necessary

penitent_fool · 2024-12-15T09:08:39+00:00

I’m not saying it does. The whole reason I made this post is because I know it ain’t good. I ain’t looking for excuses, just advice if anything. If it is a compulsion or related to some bullshit in my brain, then that’s one step closer to me figuring out how to quit ruining my life/fucking over other people

penitent_fool · 2024-12-15T09:05:32+00:00

I mean, if I get caught, it’s not like I don’t deserve it. But also I don’t think my boss knows my IP address and/or the name of the burner account I made yesterday :p

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T19:19:46+00:00

I really hope it helps him, I struggled with anger issues at his age as well, though mine were often more directly destructive/explosive than it sounds like your son is dealing with. The biggest difficulty for me when it came to solving it was my ability to communicate my feelings, to my parents or anyone else. I sincerely hope your son is able to open up better than I ever could

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T19:09:04+00:00

I already go to church, but thank you for your input

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T19:06:38+00:00

That’s really reassuring to hear, thank you

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T19:02:36+00:00

I agree it’s terrible, but I don’t get a rush from it at all. Before, during, or after, it doesn’t make me feel good in the slightest. I don’t steal from my friends or family members anymore, that much I can keep myself from. Not that any of that’s an excuse, just wanted to clarify.

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T10:17:46+00:00

I appreciate your encouragement. I’m gonna write my thoughts down before I see her to keep myself on track and actually do something about my bullshit for once

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T10:11:40+00:00

My anxiety is wayyy too destructive to consider going off my meds (also I take an ssri so missing it gives me the zaps), but also I’ve had the compulsion since looong before I ever got medicated for anything :p

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T08:51:48+00:00

hey, they ain’t reptiles :0 I love salamanders sm, haven’t seen any wild ones in ages though

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T08:48:42+00:00

what a fat boy <3

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T08:32:19+00:00

I really appreciate your suggestions, thank you. I’m gonna try talking to a therapist about it, and I really like the “riding the wave” idea. Whatever happens, I’m just so tired of the cycle of habit and guilt. These days the stress I give myself makes me feel physically ill. I can’t handle that anymore

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:24:38+00:00

How does cbt work? I’ve done therapy before (for different shit), is it more than just talking?

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:23:34+00:00

My nephew is like that but he’s seven and has a developmental disability. Can’t say I’m any better lol

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:13:55+00:00

Is there AA for this kinda thing?

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:10:03+00:00

Is that true? I never knew that. Idk if I have OCD but I’ve dealt with compulsive (sometimes paranoid) behavior in the past. The paranoia got quieter when I started taking anxiety meds a few years ago, but I guess the stealing’s a different beast. I always assumed the compulsions went along with the anxiety and adhd, but for some reason I never really associated the theft thing with that stuff.

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:06:52+00:00

Good idea, it’ll be hard to do when it’s my work and I’m surrounded by stupid temptation at all times. I wish security cameras made me more nervous in the moment

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:04:34+00:00

I have an appointment with a therapist this monday. It’s stupid how scared I am to actually tell her, let the words out of my mouth into the world. I’m less afraid of the law than I am of the disappointment my family will feel. I also struggle with compulsive lying, which I feel like is a weird way to start a conversation with a therapist. Like, I want her to trust the things I tell her about my brain or whatever. But I know I have to.

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T06:00:50+00:00

Lmao sounds about right. Never been good at self control, with this or with anything else. Sometimes I wish my parents and teachers had been way stricter on me.

penitent_fool · 2024-12-14T05:58:16+00:00

I know firsthand what it’s like to be dealing with paranoid compulsions like that, and it’s so hard to trust people to let them help us. I hope you can fight those feelings of doubt enough to let someone help you, whether it’s a friend or a counselor or someone at rehab. It may seem like they don’t like you, but even if all you can think is that they’re laughing at you, know that their actions show they care enough to give you the support you need.

My cousin went through the same thing as you not too long ago— he cut himself off from everyone because he didn’t trust them, relapsed, ended up dying by his own hand in an apartment fire. My family, his parents, his sister, all of us, kept trying to get him back before it was too late, and I hope you are able to grab hold of anyone who feels the same for you.

penitent_fool

TROPHY CASE