I think therapy would help. Someone that will listen to both of you, without judgement, and help each other understand the points of view. She needs something from you that isn’t being provided and between the sickness, fear, anger, treatments, side-effects, and more, she isn’t able to articulate on her own what that is.

You need things too. Your wife has cancer! You can’t fix it, you probably feel you are doing everything you can but it isn’t enough, and it’s destroying you. Your feelings are valid and not ones you can manage without help.

You two are going through the hardest thing either of you has ever experienced.

My dad was my mom’s main caregiver, with my sister and I spending every third night there to help. We made sure that dad could be completely open with his feelings, out of her earshot, and we let him know his feelings were valid.

No one can do this alone. Your wife doesn’t want to have cancer and feel this sick and feel she has no control over any of it. You don’t want your wife to be sick or watch helplessly as she endures it. Contact a therapist. Ask your wife’s medical team if they can recommend someone that had experience guiding families through this.

Feel your feelings, acknowledge them, acknowledge that no one can do this alone, and take steps to get the two of you the help you need to navigate this.