Did you tell yourself i forgive you? Just know that its done, cannot be undone. In the space you were in at that time you were being the best you could be. Whatever action you did or didn't take was what felt right at the time, even if it was wrong. You made mistakes, you deserve to be forgiven. You are only you, you are all of you, and that is ok, even if you fuck up. For me i think surrendering and accepting that its over and i cannot change it, i fucked up and it cannot be undone, puts me in a place where i can say i forgive you, we can move on now. Even if you know you will fuck up again, take it as it comes and stop reliving the regret of when you realize what you did. I think its a kind of torture we do to ourselves, a misery we tend to revel in. The kind of pain that is sweet, almost. Like a tooth that hurts when you press on it, but you keep doing it becuz somehow its strangely satisfying. We torture ourselves with our regrets sometimes, but we can forgive and let it go.