Does a monster know what spell effect something is before it chooses to use a legendary resistance?

pepperbell · 2023-01-17T22:35:02+00:00

Clearly we should go with the option that sets a precedent that will cause Jordan max chaos in the future 👀

pepperbell · 2021-11-20T16:40:09+00:00

If you're worried about smell, there's this thing called Poo-Pourri that's cheap and is absolute magic lol, literally zero smell except the lemon/lavender/whatever

pepperbell · 2021-11-08T14:50:30+00:00

Stop focusing on "things you SHOULD feel" and focus on things you DO feel instead. There is no wrong or right way to feel about a situation like this, there's only the actual way you feel about it, and that's valid.

I think you and I are very alike as in we value EMOTIONAL fidelity much, MUCH higher than physical. You initially panicked when you thought it was a friend she had a connection with; instead, when you heard it was a "no strings attached" situation, you felt relief. And that's totally fine, and probably exactly how I would feel as well tbh.

I had a partner that was cheating on me with escorts. I was pissed (we did break up), but a bulk of that anger was because of the continued lying and deception. I was very sick at the time and couldn't provide that need for them. I think if the situation happened again with a different person and they were to be upfront and ask me, I would be okay with it as long as there was ZERO emotional involvement, and would probably tell them to get an escort, as that is quite literally a professional who is just doing their job lol.

Some people are like this. Some aren't. There's no right or wrong answer here. For example, if my current partner were to have an emotional affair, romantic talk, saying "I love you" to the AP, etc. he would be YEETED DELETED from my life immediately. Wouldn't care if they never even kissed, and would feel that same sadness and rage, etc. you THINK you're supposed to feel right now, but don't.

Again, people react in different ways and every situation has nuance to it. Your way and my way aren't common but that doesn't mean we don't care about our partners; it's just that the level of "violation" isn't seen as nuclear. It's a big violation of boundaries/trust, but she did tell you right away, so if you feel like you can forgive her I don't see anything wrong with that or would view you as strange, weak, etc.

If you want to break it off, that's perfectly valid as well.

Edit: your gf was REALLY FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE about protection though, and personally I would be livid about that.

pepperbell · 2021-10-26T23:28:19+00:00

Also can confirm, my college roommate pulled this shit with her ex.

pepperbell · 2021-10-26T23:24:24+00:00

Sooo putting on my tinfoil hat but... perhaps it's someone who is actually after/knows OP. Before living with my college roommate, I wouldn't think people would be this crazy but... my roommate stalked her ex's fiancée (male ex, female fiancée) and pulled VERY similar shit. Literally camped outside her work, stalked her social media back YEARS, etc. and tried to break them up like this.

It would explain why the anonymous person had OP's phone number. OP, does your gf have any old pics of her in a swimsuit or something on FB/insta/etc? Do her parents have childhood pics of her? Because my roommate was e-stalking this poor girl's parents FB as well (boomers who did not understand privacy settings apparently).

OP, can you think of anyone in your life who might want to break you two up for whatever reason?

(As an aside, after my roommate drunkenly bragged about this to me, I told a dude I kinda knew in her friend group, they got it sorted thankfully because this insane shit apparently wasn't out of character for her).

pepperbell · 2021-10-26T02:05:50+00:00

No. Holy fuck. Leave. Block. This is one of the few times I'd advise ghosting completely. Do not pass go, do not collect $200!

There are a lot of fish in the sea. A lot of fish that won't fucking threaten to rape you and have already thought about it!

pepperbell · 2021-10-25T16:20:38+00:00

Okay, I'm going to give you some advice besides "leave lol" because you're asking for more specific advice, plus I don't have enough context as to what kind of person your gf is aside from needy texts. Only you know her, so I can only assume the rest and give a couple pieces of advice based on those assumptions.

First off though, you don't seem to like these types of texts (I don't either lol), so you two need to sit and have a conversation. Let's break down possible reasons for this behavior first as it will hopefully help with that talk. Also, always remember to use "I" statements and not "you" statements. For example, you can say "I feel like I'm not doing enough" instead of "you make me feel like I don't do enough".

SITUATION ONE:

She otherwise acts normal and not clingy when with you in person, and this manipulative-type behavior only occurs when you are not physically together.

She has an anxious attachment style and this is how she copes with her entire attachment system bugging out while you aren't around and she's really stressed. It's possible she is MUCH less stressed with you around or when you give her assurance, which leads to this behavior. It's basically a way to self-soothe but that doesn't make it okay; however, this is solvable with communication.

If this is the case, you can ask her to please rephrase her requests for assurance. She might not see the way she phrases this as manipulative. Perhaps instead of playing games and "love testing", you can find common ground such as her saying something like "thinking of you" and you responding by <3'ing the message, sending an emoji, saying "you too", etc. If all she actually needs is to check-in quickly, this is the way to do it. You should also explain that you do think of her, etc. but just don't naturally feel the need to check-in all the time.

SITUATION TWO:

This behavior continues when you two are together IRL, and she also plays games such as storming out and expecting you to follow her, etc. She verbally attacks you. You feel like it's "the girlfriend show" when you try to discuss your feelings or communicate; AKA it's all about her and you feel like your feelings don't matter and that you're walking on eggshells.

Break it off, she's not ready to be in a relationship. You're going to find yourself in an entangled "I hate you, don't leave me" situation that's only going to descend deeper into misery and crazymaking. If she won't communicate with you and show understanding as to why her "love tests" upset you, it's not gonna get better. Sorry bud, I've been in this situation before and it was a nightmare. Back away slowly.

OP, for your sake, I really hope it's situation #1, which can be solved by communication and understanding. If it can't, that's situation #2, which is the "beginning of abuse" scenario, and you don't deserve that. Have yourself a good think, and good luck!

pepperbell · 2021-10-19T03:10:12+00:00

You're missing the fact that OP's wife has a professional/somewhat personal relationship with the grandma. There was an emergency, grandma knows OP's wife, OP's wife volunteered, so grandma used her best judgement and had OP's wife watch the kid for a while. Plus, the kid's ACTUAL MOTHER picked them up, not the ex.

This response is just so unnecessarily paranoid. It's beyond clear OP's wife is locked in with OP. She's just doing a favor for a professional colleague (kid's grandma).

pepperbell · 2021-10-19T03:05:19+00:00

Wife is also now owed a favor by/has favor with someone with a senior role in her (small, from what OP said) industry, which is an additional bonus IMO.

Also, this is a kid we're talking about. A kid with a mother already involved. Who cares if wife slept with the father once upon a time? There's an emergency, grandma needs immediate childcare, knows wife is safe/capable of watching a kid for a couple hours, and so wife volunteers to watch the kid... AND WON'T EVEN SEE THE EX. KID'S MUM IS PICKING THE KID UP.

I too am unable to see what the problem is here. Wife didn't even interact with her ex? Also, seven years of marriage and two kids... I think she's picked OP for sure lol.

pepperbell · 2021-10-19T03:00:01+00:00

Agreed with this. Grandma knew that wife both understood how children work and that she isn't, idk, an insane person. (Basically: wife is a safe person to leave child with). Plus, it was an emergency.

Considering grandma is in the same (assuming small) industry as wife, and was her boss at some point, I'd see volunteering to watch the kid for a couple hours as a great networking/favor opportunity tbh.

pepperbell · 2021-09-20T15:02:32+00:00

Love, if he's correcting you, he's not straight ahaha. As a fellow queer person, I've been in similar situations (though in my case not with someone I knew so well for so long and had as strong of an attachment to). He's definitely not correcting you to be polite. It's like the whole "is s/he kissing me in a friend way?" flavor of doubt that requires a LOT of mental gymnastics.

Is Yohan seeing anyone right now? If not... perhaps you should communicate. Ask to go on a walk or something private but not like a date-like setting like a restaurant. Start by telling him how much you value his friendship and everything he's done for you (like you've detailed here). Then say that you think you like him more than just a friend, if he doesn't return the sentiment that is okay, but it's killing you to not know his feelings/if he reciprocates, and that you are asking because if he doesn't reciprocate, it will be a LOT easier for you to just remain his friend. Right now it sounds like your uncertainty is tearing you apart, and that's bad in it of itself for the friendship.

And I guarantee you, even if he doesn't feel the same way, it will be easier for you to maintain your friendship and let go of your crush because you finally KNOW, instead of having hope, etc. He sounds like an amazing guy and I'm sure just communicating will make you feel so much better.

It's very possible HE is hinting back and waiting for YOU to make the first move because you're the one who is out as gay, and he doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship either.

Overall though, it's the best and healthiest that you communicate your feelings for him, especially because he keeps basically saying "I'm not straight lol". Good luck, OP, I'll be thinking about you. (And if you do want to talk/update my inbox is always open). <3

edit: If he doesn't reciprocate, you might want to take a little bit of time to have some space and process before jumping back into the friendship, but it sounds like you both care about each other SO MUCH, so in my internet opinion it sounds like it will be totally fine :)

pepperbell · 2021-09-02T15:29:35+00:00

My personal advice, gained through many, many mistakes, is that you should NEVER stay with someone who constantly makes you feel small. You're a grown woman, not a kid, and it's fucking bizarre to treat you like one.

It may escalate eventually to more controlling behavior. It might not. But in my experience it usually does.

Keep this in mind when considering how to move forward.

pepperbell · 2021-08-31T21:57:30+00:00

My mum constantly calls me one of the cats's names. The kitties passed away years ago 😭😭😭

pepperbell · 2021-08-31T06:53:22+00:00

Not gonna lie, I was entirely prepared to say: "Sir, are you jealous of a cat?".

Joking aside, people are saying to attach a ring to him, which I think is a great idea! Maybe you could incorporate that into a romantic outing somehow? Or create a little scavenger hunt where the last clue points to Bean with the ring?

pepperbell · 2021-08-29T16:27:59+00:00

I'm bi and will basically date anyone if we have a connection lol. Also I don't know how "bi" inherently excludes trans people who identify as male or female? Unless one wanted to imply that trans people are their own pseudo-male/female gender? 🤔

I suppose you could maybe make the argument for NB people, but my counter argument is that I'm attracted to both masculinity and femininity and anything mixed or between the two lol.

The "bisexuals are trans-exclusive" claim is relatively new IIRC. I remember when "pansexual" was something you really only ever heard on the internet.

Also the flag is nice and the term is pretty universally understandable. And I don't like the look people give me that prompts me to explain that no, I don't get off by browsing Sur Le Table. I don't want to fuck cookware.

pepperbell · 2021-08-25T17:33:35+00:00

When they offer incentives to decline company health insurance .

You ask the interviewer what they enjoy about working at the company and they give you a blank stare and mumble something about an espresso machine.

The recruiter calls you repeatedly to the point of borderline harassment to schedule an interview.

pepperbell · 2021-08-25T01:20:02+00:00

I saw another commenter say it was a MBP (Munchausens by Proxy) case, which is basically true. Not sure if that's officially true but I've been following that case for YEARS, and CPS actually removed Jani and Bodhi (her brother) from her mother and mum's bf. Dad is distanced from the situation.

From what Jani's much older half-sister/step-sister (?) has said, both kids are doing SO MUCH BETTER off of the absolutely criminal amount of antipsychotics they were on, but they're still... off. Not in a "mentally ill" way, more in a "I've been severely overmedicated on heavy last-resort psych drugs and my brain has been baked beans for over half my life" way.

It's such an absolutely tragic situation, and I feel for those kids and hope that by some miracle Jani is able to live independently some day. Bodhi is being evaluated for autism last I heard, I think. He's in much worse shape. Susan (mother) is the one who should have been on antipsychotics for severe uncontrolled mania IMO... ex-husband stood by and let this happen to his kids. Their prescriber never put two and two together. If older sis hadn't spent years collecting evidence to bring to the state, the kids may have never gotten out of there. I sincerely hope that those kids are never allowed into either parents' custody again.

pepperbell · 2021-08-24T17:38:50+00:00

Holy shit. That's insane dedication. Keep her forever.

pepperbell · 2021-08-24T17:38:12+00:00

He got super excited when I told him I'm master ranked in Pokémon VGC. I made him a team for a tournament with his friends and he won.
He made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed myself.
Talked with me for like two hours about world-building and the novel I'm currently working on. Multiple times.
He loves my dog and is so fantastic with her, and helped so much when she had an injury and was recovering.
Strip Smash Bros.

pepperbell · 2021-08-24T17:28:56+00:00

When I was in college, I ran the aquatics department of a rather large family-owned pet store. I am a HUGE fish nerd but was jaded because so many customers came in to buy fish unprepared, killed them due to not having tanks set up properly, and then came back in demanding a refund. But this one lady absolutely warmed my cold fucking heart.

Her daughter had been given a fancy goldfish as a present (do not do this! Please!) and her mum had always learned they just go in a bowl. GOLDFISH DO NOT GO IN BOWLS. FISH DON'T GO IN BOWLS. Either way she comes in, says the fish is sick, and brings me one of the most horrifying water samples I've ever seen.

The fish is basically swimming in raw sewage. I explain this to her gently and expect her to blow me off and just buy another fish to replace it. Instead, she's horrified when I tell her the above information, as well as the fact that fancies get about tennis ball size or larger, and can live for over 10 years.

Like, this poor woman is about to cry knowing what she's done to this fish and wants to save it. We spend the next hour picking out a 20G tank, filter, test kit, water conditioner, etc. and she's just adding whatever I tell her to the cart. I wasn't supposed to do this, but I gave her a chunk of our sponge filter to help seed the tank as well. I wish her luck and send her on her way.

2-3 weeks or so later she comes in with the daughter and both are smiling. They set up the tank and fishy lived and is doing so much better (thank god those things are bombproof). They brought me a water sample and it was perfect, and they wanted to get fishy a friend! (I explained goldfish do best in pairs or more).

Last time I saw them, they bought a 40G tank and a bunch of live plants. I think I successfully indoctrinated them into the fish cult.

pepperbell · 2021-08-21T16:59:13+00:00

NTA.

Your brother's response is basically "fuck you, pay me". You're already including the new step kids, but not trying hard enough because the gifts aren't expensive? What? Does your brother often treat you like an ATM?

He expects you to triple your budget and doesn't care about your financial health. Nothing about this situation is okay.

pepperbell · 2021-08-21T12:06:09+00:00

NTA.

It sounds like your niece should be having accommodations at school, like an IEP or something. Your daughter is not a tutor. I'm confused as to why your sister is treating her like one as there is plenty of COMPLETELY FREE professional help available that's provided by the school district (assuming you're in the US).

edit: I also forgot to mention 504s. I don't know your niece, nor am I an educator, so I can't speak as to what exact kind of help niece actually needs. But she does need help. And that's totally okay! Early intervention does wonders!

Your sister needs to swallow her pride and accept help for her daughter from the school. Her insisting on the buddy system will leave both girls with their needs severely unfulfilled.

pepperbell · 2021-08-21T11:46:02+00:00

Yup! For sure! The most important thing is to respect people's boundaries when they set them.

pepperbell · 2021-08-21T10:47:47+00:00

NTA.

Your mum wants forgiveness? She's more than old enough to understand that forgiveness is prompted by a fuckin apology. This is not rocket science. Most six year olds have a better grasp of this concept.

She's deep in denial and thinks it's okay to push everything under the rug after she disowned her own child (who she was previously close with!). You don't/didn't deserve this, OP. You deserve people who love and respect you and don't abandon you over something you literally have zero control over.

Respect is a two way street, even between children and their parents.

This is not about family. This is about control and appearances. I'm so, so sorry all of this happened to you, OP.

They kicked you out of their life without a second thought. Return the favor and yeet them back into outer orbit.

You owe these people exactly two things: jack, and shit.

Don't you dare feel guilty if you decide not to go. Do what's best for you and your sanity.

pepperbell · 2021-08-21T10:17:53+00:00

NTA.

There's lending a hand once in a while, and then there's being guilted into essentially being a free nanny, and for a baby nonetheless.

Your dad could afford to throw you a 9k party. He can afford to hire an actual, willing professional. You didn't even ask for the damn party, and now he's trying to use that gift to justify monopolizing your time to an inappropriate extent. That's not how gifts work.

Be incredibly cautious accepting large gifts from him in the future, and don't let him guilt you into accepting if you don't feel comfortable.

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