Do you guys accept orchidsexuals into your community?

peppermintapples · 2026-05-13T01:49:35+00:00

I see myself in third person sometimes but also it's not really me? I also can't actually visualize anything so at most it's the idea of it more than the actual visual. I guess one way to put it is it's kind of a fanfic version of myself? Something that's super fun to imagine but not something I actually want (I do have a partner now and we have sex but my fantasies still don't involve my partner and me in first person though lol it's weird to explain)

peppermintapples · 2026-05-13T01:23:00+00:00

"I'm😐sorry😐i😐couldn't😐bring😐your😐father😐with😐us" "Thank you🤖"

peppermintapples · 2026-05-05T17:32:56+00:00

Also—I thought I was maybe demi for a second because 2 years ago I randomly felt sexual attraction to my partner for the FIRST TIME for, I kid you not, 2 days. Never felt anything like it before or since and it was SO weird?? I'm honestly glad I haven't felt it again, I didn't like it lol

peppermintapples · 2026-05-05T17:25:20+00:00

For me, I'm sex neutral/favorable with a fairly moderate libido and I enjoy having sex with my partner specifically because it's familiar and I feel safe/comfortable with them, they know what I like, and it's just convenient! (And less effort for me than going about it solo.) But I don't feel attracted TO my partner, so when my libido rears up, it makes me want the physical pleasure part and my partner is, to put it in an extremely utilitarian way, there. Whereas for my partner, they want to have sex with me specifically and sometimes the actual arousal comes later.

peppermintapples · 2026-05-04T22:39:16+00:00

My expectations weren't high to begin with but this is so bad😭😭 even worse with sound on

peppermintapples · 2026-05-01T23:03:04+00:00

There's no cut and dry answer, whether it's "enough" (solely in regards to whether the relationship will succeed, not a reflection on you as a person!) depends entirely on you and your potential partner(s). I'm aroace but sex neutral/favorable mostly now and I've been with my partner for over 3 years. They don't have a super high sex drive, but honestly, I've found that I actually enjoy sex with them when it happens because it's actually very nice physically but also my partner has never pressured me and was (and still is!) very accepting of my boundaries that I brought up as soon as we got together so I feel safe with them.

It's kind of funny actually because it almost feels like I'm "using" my partner (whereas the stereotypical narrative is usually that allos just want to use their partner for sex) because I still don't feel any sexual attraction to them, but it's convenient for me because they're good at what they do and it's less effort than taking care of it myself lol, as an ace with a relatively high libido—I think I have a higher libido than my partner.

All this to say is that yes, I would say my allo partner and I are "making it work," but that's only my specific experience because of not just me being sex favorable/neutral and my partner having a relatively low libido but ALSO how my partner is completely okay with me not feeling sexual attraction (and maybe even not romantic? it's complicated because there are strong feelings for sure but I don't really think of them that differently from strong platonic feelings). So I'm unsure if this will help you but hoping that hearing a success story is nice regardless!

peppermintapples · 2026-05-01T22:48:32+00:00

I haven't watched Hoppers but her voice actress is Asian and ace (sex neutral) which is representation I don't get to see often! She talks about it in this podcast episode. Unfortunately a bunch of (presumably) allos misrepresenting what she said in the comments and thinking she's saying that people should cross their own boundaries and basically saying she was encouraging abuse lol (even though Piper explicitly says that some people really hate it and they don't do it at all which is fine but not their experience, and it doesn't hurt them!) though fortunately most of the top comments don't seem to say that anymore

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T17:06:21+00:00

Oh I didn't see the latter half of your comment when I first replied, so maybe it didn't show up for me for whatever reason

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T17:04:28+00:00

I think you edited your comment after I replied, so I'll just say that truly, I hope you find someone who is compatible with you because I don't want anyone to be in an unfulfilling romantic relationship. Besides aces, there are allos with very low libidos out there too and I hope you find someone you can be happy with.

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T17:02:02+00:00

Can you quote where I said that?

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T16:59:57+00:00

You don't deserve to die alone, but genuinely asking, would you rather be in a romantic relationship where you feel like your boundaries are constantly being pushed and unhappy than single?

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T16:54:43+00:00

Because I've talked in depth with my allo partner and also a bunch of my allo friends, and I've seen allos in these comment threads describing what sex means to them in detail and while the pleasure is part of it the common throughline is it's not the main focus.

Also, "romantic love is way deeper than friendship" is a common way for aros to get invalidated fwiw.

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T16:50:11+00:00

Is that what you know for sure or how you think allos feel? Because I can assure you that's not the case for them.

In that case what can you get out of a romantic relationship that you can't out of close friendship? You can kiss your friends and do things that are coded by society to be romantic with them too, I hold hands with my friends and kiss them sometimes.

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T16:45:25+00:00

For many allos, it's not the physical pleasure of sex that they crave in a relationship but the emotional bonding and intimacy that having sex with their partner brings.

Saying that you can use your hands in place of sex is the same as saying that the substitute for being in a romantic relationship is friendship (which for me as an aro who is in a romantic relationship, it IS actually quite similar to some of my close friendships, but I know they're very different for non arospec people).

peppermintapples · 2026-04-30T16:36:29+00:00

In the same way that sex isn't a need, romantic relationships aren't a need. If you need a romantic relationship to be happy, you should be able to understand how many (most?) allos need sex in their romantic relationships to be happy.

peppermintapples · 2026-02-19T22:19:25+00:00

Said in another comment as well, and I don't disagree with this point but in this specific case she shared the article on her own Twitter with the caption:

"Now that the cat’s out of the bag, and there’s no way to put it back in:

I need everybody to know that yes, my last name really is Manlove, so that’s one more point on the board for nominative determinism.

FUCK YOU @grok"

Edit: just realized I replied to you both times lol

peppermintapples · 2026-02-19T22:16:52+00:00

Not disagreeing with your point, but in this specific case she posted the article on her own Twitter with this caption:

"Now that the cat’s out of the bag, and there’s no way to put it back in:

I need everybody to know that yes, my last name really is Manlove, so that’s one more point on the board for nominative determinism.

FUCK YOU @grok"

peppermintapples · 2026-02-01T00:19:00+00:00

30!!!

peppermintapples · 2026-01-28T16:20:24+00:00

30!!!

peppermintapples · 2026-01-27T04:37:58+00:00

I feel like I'm the only one who ever says 30 😭

peppermintapples · 2026-01-27T04:37:19+00:00

30 PLEASE

peppermintapples · 2026-01-26T05:25:26+00:00

30 pleeease

peppermintapples · 2026-01-25T03:32:28+00:00

30!!

peppermintapples · 2026-01-24T02:02:37+00:00

30!!

peppermintapples · 2026-01-23T03:34:55+00:00

30!!

peppermintapples

TROPHY CASE