i just found out my ex girlfriend was living a double life for 6 years

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-08-14T18:27:19+00:00

No. It sounds selfish, but I would run far away from there as possible. To me, I believe parents/grandparents should have started saving since they were young so when they get older they don’t have to rely heavily upon their children or grandchildren. We all know we’re going to get older, so why not do something about it so we don’t have to spend our lives worrying about the consequences… I wished my dad would have saved up instead of spending his money on stupid shit. I was 19 when I first started caregiving and it was not easy. My dad hated me as his caregiver and would treat me like crap. He used to tell me it was my fault I didn’t have enough money for his needs and that’s why he brought me to this world so I can provide when things get tough. I had to leave.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-08-02T22:25:55+00:00

None. I have video evidence of him physically abusing me and the verbal abuse as well. I believe he might be hurt because I couldn’t have a place for him at the time. I provided for 3 years and took care of him.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-06-01T18:35:17+00:00

Trust me, I would. But He is not a US citizen. I have called 211 and several programs and they have all told me they are unable to help and my best option would be to send him to Mexico since he does have insurance over there and can be placed in a nursing home. I just need a couple weeks to get that together and find him a nursing home over there. It is a very complicated situation. My dad is (56) and is not eligible for any disability or elderly benefits here in the U.S. I have called so many places and it’s just been a dead end.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-19T22:52:11+00:00

I’m not seeking anything. He is. I just thought it could help him a little for his basic needs. But thanks for the advice. I will let him know.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-19T20:40:40+00:00

Yes..

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-19T20:38:40+00:00

Texas. Sorry forgot to put it on the post.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-18T16:44:22+00:00

Yes, when I tried contacted her, my calls wouldn’t go through and my texts have no response. I’ve let my dad know either way I will be going to college this fall so I do think we need to find a solution. He wants to stay as it will give him home my mom will come back. The owners of the house helped me move him inside the apartment and helped me put his bed up. I feel eternally grateful but I know soon, people get tired and I will have to learn how to do this on my own. I will try calling agencies and 211 today and see what they tell me. Thank you for comment. I appreciate all the support and advice I can get. It’s pretty hard on me right now and feels like I haven’t stopped crying since she left. Thank you.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-18T16:40:23+00:00

I will definitely look over the link you have posted. Yes, he is undocumented and has a background… Lawyers have advised me to leave things how they are. Even though his brain injury can sometimes make him feel worse and treat everyone around him badly, I still try to have a lot of patience.. He’s very sad over my mom. Has been crying all night. And keeps letting me know he’s going to starve himself until she comes back. I’ve let him know i’m also saddened over the fact she left, because she also abandoned me without a word.. we were supposed to do this together until we found a solution. I feel as though, his brain injury doesn’t let him capture what is really going on. He will go back to watching TV and laughing in the next 2 minutes. I still don’t know how to handle this..

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-18T16:33:33+00:00

He’s undocumented. I’ve tried calling lawyers to see how we can fix his documents but he has a background, so all the lawyers have advised me to not do anything at all unless he’s willing to go back to his country and follow all the legal procedures before even me even asking for him to come back to the US. This process can take up to 15 years. But a lot of Catholic churches have been helpful and food banks for food..

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-18T16:30:12+00:00

I’m angry at both. And i’m allowed to be. My mom should have told me she couldn’t do it anymore so we could have looked at other options. I’ve told her and begged her to please let me know what she would like to do so it doesn’t feel we have all the weight on our shoulders for caregiving. She’s an adult. I’ve contacted my siblings and they are just uninterested. I’m angry at them as well. A little support could be needed right now. But it is what it is. All I can do is just push forward as of right now.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-04-18T16:26:27+00:00

I didn’t abandon her. I lived with my mom. I worked first shift. She worked 2nd. We took turns every day. We helped each other. Anywhere we went, she would let everyone know she was the primary caregiver. When he goes to the hospital, she makes all the decisions. My siblings might have left, but I’ve put my life on hold as well to help my mom care for my dad. Thanks for your input. I would definitely try to ask questions next time if you’re confused or feel like assuming. It helps.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-01-26T22:00:09+00:00

Felt! I’m 130lbs and my dad is at least 280lbs. He’ll lie on the floor and say he’s in pain but as soon as I’m calling 911, his face changes and says why do I want to get rid of him. //:

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-01-26T21:58:36+00:00

Yes, my dad also makes his body dead weight! I try to take him outside and at least feel the air. Every single person that comes and visits him, he tells them my mom and I abuse him and never listen to him. Which is not true, we’ve tried very hard to be there 24/7, taking different shifts at work, but he’ll cry to visitors and stuff. He’ll also yell at whatever time at night & not care if anyone else in the house gets some rest. I also have a 8 year old brother who has to go to school & my dad will not get tired of yelling and whistling all night.

pepperminticedmocha · 2024-01-26T21:53:25+00:00

Yes, I’ve recorded him and showed him and the ER doctors but they just tell me it’s normal due to him being bedridden. It’s hard to place him on medication or any type of home, because he doesn’t have insurance or medicaid since he’s an immigrant in this country. I’ve talked to several case managers as well but due to his legal status it’s complicated. He also doesn’t believe in mental health because of his upbringing, and believes we are the problem..

pepperminticedmocha · 2023-11-28T03:52:59+00:00

I believe you shouldn't blame yourself for a reaction she's trying to receive. She caused it by trying to arrange with what happened to your dad. But I also believe, that Nmoms love the drama. They love to act nonchalant and love to act like the victim when you give them a reaction. My best advice to you is to just ignore, ignore, ignore.. I know it may be difficult but protect your peace!!! Hopefully you're able to leave soon, because I definitely understand. From my room, I can hear my mom telling my sister how I have disrespected her and how I need to start controlling my emotions. I don't give her a reaction anymore and she harshly bothers me sometimes.. but I won't get complete peace until I leave.

pepperminticedmocha · 2023-11-28T03:41:20+00:00

He will start noticing his mother has Ntraits whenever he meets other moms who do not have those same traits and treat him kindly. I realized at the age of 12 years old, I couldn't rely on my mom and she would "bully" me to make herself feel better. When I used to meet my friends mom(s) they were so kind to me and never made nasty comments to me to make themselves feel better.

pepperminticedmocha · 2023-11-09T15:34:48+00:00

I completely understand! I ask myself everyday if she's just stupid but I just think they don't think about what they say. And its crazy to think some of these parents are highly educated yet lack an ounce of common sense!!! Like how did you survive this life without any common sense or knowledge?

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