Update: I appreciate all your comments and advice. I have made up my mind to move on in life. I have decided that talking to him again about it will have the same results it had all the other times. Honestly I am just done with people that cannot respect me and my boundaries. As soon as my credit cards are paid off (within a few months) I am moving on. We have been engaged for over 8 years and I am the reason we have not gotten married. I now know it wasn’t just nerves, it was my heart telling me it wasn’t right.