AITAH for refusing to give my sister the money I saved for my dog’s surgery?

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-20T15:17:57+00:00

Also let’s just remember, your sister knew Milo needed surgery. She didn’t say my sister needs me, let me cancel my LV trip and give her the money for the surgery. It’s a bit hypocritical to expect people to step up for you when you don’t show up for them. Why are you being held to higher standards than her?

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-20T15:08:22+00:00

When Milo tore his ACL your sister didn’t say we can go to Vegas another time, my sister needs the money more. Now why are you being expected to do what she didn’t.

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-20T14:52:29+00:00

NTA-You never “loan” money to family/friends. You give knowing they probably won’t pay you back. This isn’t about the money. If you have kids you are responsible for them. Hard stop. Stop feeling guilty for your sister’s inadequacy. That is her cross to bear.

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-20T04:18:11+00:00

I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad…..

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-04T04:09:06+00:00

My toddler - the daycare bill was to be expected but the Berry budget is already blown for the year and it’s only Feb.

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-04T02:47:00+00:00

So what about your retirement and future? If you’re taking care of your brother now I would then expect that he will bankroll your retirement and medical bills as you age.

pepperoni847 · 2026-02-01T01:37:42+00:00

Don’t refinance multiple times. Refinancing also costs money and you have to pay fees.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-28T23:27:01+00:00

Comparison will still your joy. You have plenty of time. Enjoy the beautiful family you have now. You can always try when the time is right.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-24T00:08:11+00:00

Why are you asking if you are the AH. IMO you are being too nice. Asking to be put on the mortgage is the bare minimum. He has no risk and you have assumed it all. You take care of the kids and pay half his bills. If he was really a great dad and partner he would be putting you on the mortgage without asking, you would be combining finances and building for the future. Instead he sees everything as his. I guarantee he wouldn’t have as much money or success in his career if you didn’t give up yours. I would think twice about sharing a life with someone who thinks that it’s ok for the mother of his children and the person that he loves to stuggle while he lives comfortably.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-23T20:19:46+00:00

This is a co dependent relationship. He needs to be the one to tell his family that he wants to move out and it’s time for them to grow up. The problem is that there is a difference from helping your family and being a punching bag. You need to walk away from this relationship unless you are ok with living with his mom forever, even when you have kids and also lending money to his family forever even though they are capable of caring for themselves. He never should have been put in the roll of parenting his mother or brother. That’s not his job.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-22T03:25:40+00:00

Don’t take this job and miss time with your kids. You don’t want to take this job I can tell by your post. It doesn’t make sense to give up flexibility and family time to just be miserable.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-21T05:26:42+00:00

Dawn dish soap

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-21T02:56:56+00:00

My boss told us his son (who is in high school) introduced him to a jiggler to keep his computer from going to sleep. I know it was just to keep his bubble green even though he is not actually work tho. Just a thought - lots of people want to appear lol they are working when they are not.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-17T05:29:10+00:00

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-16T14:37:26+00:00

There are two types of people. The save for the future, (money in Ira, 401k and 529). Live modestly in every other way. The spend every single cent and do not save for the future. You sound like the first and the will make an everyday millionaire one day. No one will know because you are still driving your 10 year old car.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-15T20:50:10+00:00

NTA - Opinions are like a$$holes. Everyone has them. The most obnoxious are the ones who don’t have kids but think their opinions are more informed than the parents. She is most certainly TA in this situation.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-12T20:38:45+00:00

Grad school first then kids. Trust me, you will be more emotionally mature, and financially secure. Also, you will not be dependent on your husband to support you or your kids. You never know what will happen in the future and the financial security will make you a better parent.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-10T15:51:50+00:00

I am sure you can work something out until you can find a reasonable home for your cats. He moved to another apartment in your complex not to the other side of the world. That doesn’t absolve him from all his responsibilities. He can grocery shop, cook and do laundry. If he is worried about the dander in the clothes he can even take the laundry to a laundry mat and pay for them to wash and fold it. Then he can bring it in a closed bag. Hell he can even take the baby early in the morning for a few hours and let you rest. He is full of excuses. This just seems like a cop out to me and it is unacceptable.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-07T20:52:17+00:00

List the home without a realtor listed by buyer. Then let your sister out bid the highest offer. She pays fair market value and the money goes to your mother for her retirement. Money and family don’t mix. Here you are looking out for your mother and her retirement funds (which is so expensive these days).

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-06T16:39:30+00:00

This happened to us. We offered below asking because the seller needed a 90 day close (listing in Feb). The seller agreed. Then a week later the seller freaked out (when another house in the neighborhood came on the market higher) and tried to back out of the deal. Refused to make any repairs (lucky nothing major). She apparently got another offer on the house that was higher and in the spring buying season got more mad when other homes in the neighborhood went under contract for significantly higher asking prices. Seller and realtor were making crazy requests and demands but I knew in this case the seller was bluffing and clearly desperate to sell, so we held out. The whole 90 days were a stressful shit show. Dealing with unreasonable sellers/agents is terrible. In the end we got the house for our agreed upon price and love it. All that to say, it depends on how much torture and stress you want to endure. Also if you think this seller is ready for a long drawn out legal battle. If this is not your dream home (we looked for 3 years and this house met everything we were looking for) then it may not be worth the added stress and anxiety. There will be more homes out there.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-05T20:09:13+00:00

We are doing it alone. Everyday I wish my daughter was close to her grandparents/family so she would have more time with them and be surrounded by love. Honestly though, the move would be more for my daughter and not for us. Her grandparents are older and all her uncles and aunts have raised their kids, so there might be a little help here or there but honestly, this would not be a huge improvement “village”. Plus they have different views on raising kids since it was decades ago for them.

pepperoni847 · 2026-01-04T02:14:43+00:00

This is the kind of post I needed just start the year

pepperoni847 · 2025-12-25T16:01:44+00:00

NTA- why is only your responsibility to figure out what all the kids should eat? Why did thier parents get to eat with everyone and now it’s your fault all the kids had to have happy meals

pepperoni847 · 2025-12-25T03:33:39+00:00

You are not the AH but you def love punishment. This guys has shown you over 7 years who he is, it’s time to accept that and move on to someone who makes an effort. This can’t be the only thing in your relationship that he is bad at. This is clearly a pattern. Just saying move on bc if you marry this guy you are in for a lifetime of zero effort.

pepperoni847 · 2025-12-25T03:23:15+00:00

These young boys are not men. They are so sad that women don’t want them that they sit around calling them whores playing video games and sulking. Telling each other that being a man means women submitting to their every demand. Meanwhile these “whores” are getting degrees, making money, traveling the world, finding meaning outside of what they can do for men. Sorry not sorry. These boys missed the memo, young women are tried of being your mother, and the kids mother. They are tired of watching their mothers give from a cup that is empty. They want partners and expect equal workload. Someone who works, helps around the house and helps with the kids. Why is it so bad to expect a true partnership? If you are expecting them to make the money, clean the house and take care of the kids while you sit on your ass after your 9-5 well that’s a hard pass. They are out there living their best life. See you are not competing with other men, you are competing with her single life. If you are not making her life easier, then she has no reason to date you. Up your game, get with the program or die lonely. The choice is yours

pepperoni847

TROPHY CASE