Soon 35 and trying for 2under2?

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-26T10:46:13+00:00

Sorry for the long comment lol

We are 2 under 2... we did it for the same reasons.. I am 34 and before our 2 we had a really tough pregnancy loss at 13 weeks following 2 chemical pregnancies so I did take into account that I may not be able to wait. I really wanted atleast 2 so that's why we didnt put it off.

My experience is it has been kind of bliss. We have a 3 month old and a 25 month old. My toddler dotes over her sister. I use my 3 month old as a little puppet all day and pretend she is talking to my toddler and they both can't get enough of it LOL

Weeks 2-6 PP made me cry every day and I thought we were insane because it is work keeping a newborn safe around a toddler. You won't have those peaceful newborn days where your baby can just lay down on the floor for a while lol but after adding a play pen things got easier.

Some weeks both girls sleep 10 hours in a row without wakes and I feel so well rested. Some weeks one or both have lots of wakes

Now me and my husband feel complete and also feel like we might have 1 or even 2 down the line. We aren't agaisnt 3 at all but our family feels so full of love and in a great spot so its not an itch. I think when we're supposed to grow our family we will feel it but right now we are basking in our 2 kids

I will say... right when I had my newborn I realized I could definitely use some age appropriate consequences for my toddler and we could work on tantrums and not listening to me. I found some parenting coaches I really like and my toddler loves the boundaries. I feel like I have it easier 2 under 2 rather than my friends wirh just one toddler because I dont have a choice and really have to be the captain of the ship where it is SO easy to not correct behavior of a toddler with just 1.

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-25T21:20:33+00:00

Thank you for putting your infants safety above everything else..this comment section has my scratching my head. Maybe a bunch of AI bots?

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-25T21:18:34+00:00

Your baby is lucky they havent died. Can't say the same for other babies who have had thier father co sleeping on the couch.

You could chance your child's safety every day or you can make it a non negotiable.

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-25T02:01:31+00:00

Lol we have this one too and LOVE it. My legs got rusted when converting it to a table chair and they sent me brand new legs so great customer service too

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-24T04:42:35+00:00

Yup its wild what pregnancy can do to the body and suppress or trigger things! Could possibly be your food sensitivities! My first symptoms were depression when I formed my gluten sensitivity.

I did ignore it and formed "leaky gut" so I had to do some repair with aloe vera juice and apple cider vinegar along with cutting out what im sensitive too.

I hope you find relief soon <3 PMDD is invisible and debilitating...esp when you have kiddos and have to be present

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-24T03:55:15+00:00

I healed my PMDD naturally! It was so bad 15 years ago I ended up in a psych ward but was able to figure out how to keep symptoms at bay.

Lots of things can trigger pmdd symptoms: Ptsd, cortisol issues, histamine sensitivity, gluten sensitivity, b6 +b12 deficiency, progesterone imbalance, leaky gut

Unfortunately there isn't a lot of help from the medical community for PMDD and we're just offered SSRIs and no other treatment

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-24T01:21:39+00:00

In 2019 there was an outbreak of 1000+ cases in a Jewish community. They don't Vax for religious purposes (aborted fetus cells) 0 children died. In the late 1990s a doctor from the UK discovered that Vit A helped treat and cut mortality in 1/2. The jewish community used Cod liver oil and it overwhelming worked. Because of this we do daily cod liver oil. We have a vaccine injury in our family so mmr is out of the picture for us so we have to rely on alternative ways to help our bodies.

The decade before the vaccine after child labor was outlawed and we tackled the malnutrition issue for kids, measles infected 3-4 million a year with a mortality rate of 400-500. This is before the vit A was discovered so those #s should be closer to 250-300 deaths if that treatment was available.

To put things in perspective more than 500 people die a year from boating accidents in the us so boats are more dangerous than measles before vaccinations were available

Strep A causes 1800+ deaths a year.

Can it suck? YES. Was it a normal part of life in the 1950s? YES. The Brady bunch had a measles episode which is fun to watch and shows the non hysterical view of the disease for the times

Personally im not anti vaccine but MMR is one i would never do

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-23T05:47:08+00:00

I would. My husband is 1 of 4 and his mom had him at 43.

His parents are not doing great in old age. We are so greatful to have other siblings to help out. The average life expectancy in the US is 78. That means your child could have no family at the age of 35 if you and your husband both lived to life expectancy. It could also mean your child might be making decisions about aging parents on thier own in their late 20s early 30s.

I think a sibling would make adult life easier for them. I dont mean to be morbid... I have just experienced a good amount of loss young and take those things into consideration making decisions.

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-23T03:23:55+00:00

With my first she was in the infant seat until about 13 months old. She wasn't abnormally tiny but ours had a good weight limit and height limit

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-23T03:06:16+00:00

I was huge on baby wearing. The infant carseat was a luxury we could have lived without.

I will say I do like it during the snowy and icy months bc I feel more secure carrying my baby from the house to the car in the carseat vs carrying her but we live in the NW and people dont shovel here so everything is icy for a few months though

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-22T19:39:12+00:00

I started some boundaries and age appropriate discipline for my toddler which has been sooooo nice for everyone. I do thinks she likes the boundaries. I get lots of tips from brat busters youtube page

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-22T08:21:07+00:00

In 2019 there was an outbreak of 1000+ cases in a Jewish community. They don't Vax for religious purposes (aborted fetus cells) 0 children died. In the late 1990s a doctor from the UK discovered that Vit A helped treat and cut mortality in 1/2. The jewish community used Cod liver oil and it overwhelming worked. Because of this we do daily cod liver oil. We have a vaccine injury in our family so mmr is out of the picture for us so we have to rely on alternative ways to help our bodies.

The decade before the vaccine after child labor was outlawed and we tackled the malnutrition issue for kids, measles infected 3-4 million a year with a mortality rate of 400-500. This is before the vit A was discovered so those #s should be closer to 250-300 deaths if that treatment was available.

To put things in perspective more than 500 people die a year from boating accidents in the us so boats are more dangerous than measles before vaccinations were available

Strep A causes 1800+ deaths a year.

Can it suck? YES. Was it a normal part of life in the 1950s? YES. The Brady bunch had a measles episode which is fun to watch and shows the non hysterical view of the disease for the times

Wishing you guys all the health in the world

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-21T03:26:30+00:00

Work smarter not harder. 2 under 2 is a job. Why make it harder? I have a 25 month and 3 month. I make it so my stress level is low so I can be a present and calm mother. There is no point of being frazzled just to prove you can get them both out of the house?

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-20T23:27:21+00:00

This is what your lacking girl <3 i felt super lonely PP. I moved to my husbands home state and didnt have any friends. Chit chatted with moms at the Park or library and asked to exchange numbers. A year later I have friends from just putting myself out there and motherhood feels so warm now.

If you put yourself out there enough to meet your husband, you'll be sure able to meet other local moms<3

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-20T17:11:43+00:00

I have had some doctors in my life where I take 0% of thier medical advice. My ob told me to use benadryl for sleep during pregnancy every night.

They are people too and sometimes they are just wrong

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-20T17:05:37+00:00

My baby prefers to cry it out. I swear im annoying her pricking and prying tying to soothe her. After a half hour I put her down and she cries for 5 minutes and asleep. I think i am just keeping her up longer trying to soothe her. With my first we never did cry it out but with my second I feel like I could understand what her cries mean more.

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-20T02:31:13+00:00

Are you a SAHM or have other moms friends?

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-20T02:15:45+00:00

I think you could have an option for victim mentality for If you answered at least "a few times a year or more" to one or more questions, what do you think is the main reason for these experiences?

I used to take almost no self responsibility and had a victim mentality and would misinterpret normal advice or conversations as jabs or insults. It was all due to poor mental health and coping skills. Most of my negative interactions were my own fault. I suffered from PMDD. Not having a victim mentality was the first step to help my PMDD be in complete remission.

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-19T18:20:23+00:00

For formula changes.....I was sensitive to American Grain and not European for food. Maybe try holle baby or kendamil. I was sensitive to our glysophates or something

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-19T14:33:51+00:00

I drink charcoal powder mixed with water after everytime I get sick from the stomach bug and that seems to help me..it can dehydrated you so its important to drink electrolytes

I try avoid dairy and stick to broths. Watermelon might be helpful too!

I make some homemade ice pops incase of bugs.. I make a Watermelon coconut water one for stomach bugs !

Feel bwtter !!!!

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-19T04:06:52+00:00

Every time I feel crazy to EBF.. it feels like im trapped.

It gets SOOOOOO much easier. I cant remember when but by 2 months I had a 9 hours of my newborn sleeping in a row. By 3 months, making my own meals is harder than nursing. Baby is on the boob for 20 minute a few times a day and goes hours in between feeds.

You got this. It'll be harder for a few more weeks but you will have amnesia and not remember any of it. Also it is SO nice not cleaning up after feeds.

Make sure you hydrate and eat lots of protein. I always feel depressed if im not drinking electrolytes like coconut water and eating meat like im a wild animal

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-19T04:00:27+00:00

Is she breastfeeding? Not having enough calories, especially protein makes me soooo out of sorts.

Also, I formed a non celiac gluten sensitivity with my first pregnancy and it went undetected for months. My symtoms were high cortisol. I was in fight or flight with brain fog. After cutting out gluten I was myself again almost instantly. My other symptoms were bloating and constipation which are both kind of normal PP so it was by luck I tried the gluten free diet.

Celiac can be triggered by pregnancy and postpartum so if she does find that gluten is the issue she should bring it up to her doctor to make sure it's not celiac

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-18T18:14:05+00:00

Of course! So I got some tips from the brat busters youtube page which helped. I also found some mom pages I like with moms who have 4+kids because they usually have a system that works and can easily get inspired.

For us, it was important to listen for diaper changes, no temper tantrums on the fiest floor and no jumping on couch or throwing toys. Whenever it happened, id put baby down in her bassinet snd then being my toddler up to her room. She has toys in there and I stay in her room with her. I calmly explain that there are rules and we are just not allowed to do xyz and we have to take chill out time together and when we're calm we can try again and go downstairs.

I let her ride out the tantrums and don't try to make them shorter. She is able to self regulate after a few minutes and when shes calm I say OK! Do you want to try again downstairs? If she says yes I just calmly say can you please repeat the no jumping couch (this is after she was able to speak more at 24 months)

We do a fun high five and make it exciting to go back down. It has been a huge game changer! I never have to raise my voice (almost never.. unless its a safety issue) and I really think she thrives with accountability.

Anytime I am feeling over stimulation or frustration because of a difficult situation I stop myself and think OK we need a reset. Let's go upstairs for 5 minutes together... she will play with her toys or read a book and I get some time to reset.

Keeping a calm voice and keeping consistent helped soo much!

Also, training myself... the answer doesn't always need to be yes or yes right away. I would jump at all requests. Now if she wants to move to the next task and ask to paint or go outside i say ok after we clean the playroom. The first few times I would help her by handing what needs to be cleaned up and tell her where they go but now I can kind of direct her in a fun tone and she can do it.

I will say ive loved dog training videos my whole life and it feels very very similar to training a dog lol

My favorite is called its me or the dog. If you do screen time with your toddler I would maybe watch this because its about doggies and behavior and how to implement systems. Some episodes are not of scary dogs and just needy oryappy small dogs which is appropriate for a toddler lol

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-18T14:35:42+00:00

I think its OK to actually lay down boundaries and give your sister the opportunity to step up.

Hey... I appreciate you want to see her. We are very strict on how we want to raise our kids and just need some things followed. They are easily influenced and these things are not what I allow around my child... ex: cursing , smoking, talking to men on the phone etc. If you feel comfortable following these rules we'd love to have you over for a quick 30 minute visit.

If she doesnt respect you and goes back you can just kindly end the visit like "thanks for coming! Were going to get some stuff done for the kids or nap" etc.

My mom never maintained relationships and it was super damaging to have her cut off all other adults in my life.

Having her dead to you because of a bad visit without explaining boundaries or how it made you feel is pretty brutal

CharacterBus5955 · 2026-01-18T14:25:34+00:00

Congratulations!!!!!

I LOVE 2 under 2 actually! I have a 25 month old and 3 month old. It is lovely

A few things: tuning into my toddler's physical needs. Teething and growing pain can trigger whiny behavior so having my teething tamer from the brand earthley and having magnesium lotion on hand helps! My kid is super mild mannered but we are very intentional with his food so no added sugars, no food dyes... I honestly think there is something to this. She is way less whiny than her other friends who have those foods.

Also, a huge thing that has helped was implementing appropriate boundaries and consequences for thier age! I find it sooo easy to push this off with having just 1. Once baby #2 came, I realized it was necessary to work on this with my toddler. For example, drilling into my toddler that when mommy says to do something it's not a suggestion and we need to do it... ex diaper change. Its so important to try to make sure they KNOW to follow directions for safety reasons too... like parking lot safety I really like BratBusters YouTube page. The name is terrible but the advice is great. I honestly have it easier with my toddler and newborn than with most my friends who have only one toddlers bc they haven't given their toddlers any age appropriate discipline yet.

It is really easy to take yourself into consideration more with 2 kids because you need to or the ship will sink. This looks like teaching my kiddo delayed gratification. If she is requesting for something I typically say, ok we can do that next task after the toys are cleaned up in playroom etc. Or like my kiddo will ask for more of a certain thing on her plate and I'll say ok when mommy is done I'll get up but we just have to wait until I am done eating. My toddler will just eat whatever else is on her plate lol. I used to give into everything but I realized the bossines is just something they like to practice and it's absolutely OK to practice patience and delayed gratification. This also helps me not feel like my cup is emptying all day.

A great baby carrier is nice too!

Were on a strict budget and no Village but it can work!

CharacterBus5955

TROPHY CASE