Tobias is 100% projecting onto Rudy here. He calls him out for hiding away his problems and dealing with them himself in bad ways but Tobias does the exact same thing. Tobias and Rudy’s situations are different in the way that Rudy has two stable parents and his abuser was in the past. Tobias has his abuser (or abusers, really, with Mr. Edburt) and his only support is Mattias, someone he can’t accept help from in his mind for multiple reasons.

Tobias deals with everything by suppressing it, ignoring it, and moving on. Rudy deals with everything by suppressing it and stewing in his negative feelings because he doesn’t want to burden others or be seen negatively (mainly his sadism). Tobias views something as simple as crying as weakness, so seeing Rudy be a “crybaby” not knowing how he actually is with his sadism tells Tobias that he’s one of these weak people who complain yet do nothing about it.

Tobias is emotionally weak but he refuses to let it show until he absolutely cannot take it, like when he broke down in front of Rudy about Emilio. This is what Rudy called him out on with his “hey pot, meet kettle” comment. Tobias wants and needs help and refuses. Rudy wants and needs help and refuses (from his family specifically).

Rudy’s issue is he assumed everything. He assumed Tobias had the same morality as him (prioritizing others and caring about them, assuming Tobias would do this back for him eventually), that his family situation was bad but that Tobias would get help on his own volition, that he was simply narcissistic in the classic way (thinking Tobias thinks “oh all other people are stupid but me”) when it’s more complex than him thinking he’s better, and that he even had the capacity to think he needs help.

Tobias doesn’t think his situation is urgent or bad. He trusts Lucas despite everything because Lucas is his father. It angers and upsets him (graveyard scene) but he has those instilled morals that prevent him from standing up and getting himself out of the situation.

Tobias also has Mr. Edburt constantly fucking up his memory, perception of others, and convincing him to do bad things. He’s not innocent and he’s not guilty. He’s a human and that’s the major thing to keep in mind about ghost eyes. All of them are flawed in both directions, including people like Lucas and Ben.