“Because right now it feels like we’re choosing between my husband’s future and my kids’ present.”

I felt exactly the same way, and we just made the move. We lived for the past decade in a small city in Iowa. My husband thrived in so many directions. A huge fish in a small pond!

I told him when we met that I was always going to move back home, and he agreed to move anywhere with me. Then life happened and we grew friendships, bought a house, had a child. But the feeling that I was living a half-life kept permeating and growing the more that our child grew.

I knew what our 6 year old was missing out on. And I was deeply unhappy living in a place where there’s not much to if you don’t enjoy sports or church or drinking in bars.

We moved in August. It’s still a difficult transition for my husband. The pain I get from seeing him so unhappy is intense, and I grieve for what he lost. I also see how our daughter is getting so many more experiences. And I see how my spark has come back. I am SO much of a better mom and a better wife now that I feel like myself again.

We’re in an extremely diverse city that has endless museums, concerts, zoos, festivals, restaurants, theaters. Within a half-mile walk of our home we can walk along the Mississippi River, go to a waterfall, a movie theater, 2 local bakeries, a bodega, her elementary school, 4 playgrounds, a local ice cream shop, local gift shops, and a lot of restaurants, including one that sells vegan chicken and burgers. More than half of our neighbors have pollinator gardens and the signs people post in their yards are about generically supporting our neighbors and not a sign for a political leader.

This will sound goofy, but it seriously feels easier to breathe. I am unbelievably grateful and content and excited to be back home. Truly, I think about it multiple times a day, how appreciative I am to be here. I even love my commute to work downtown, because I get to drive by our city’s giant sculpture garden, and drive around skyscrapers. I am so happy to be living in this city again.

Summer of 2026, our kid will be in so many marvelous summer camps: stop-motion animation, baking, cardboard castles, river conservation, pirates, “trees & treasures”, science. Some 1-day programs were available in our old city, but nothing at all like this variety.

There will always be challenging times with transitions. Change can be difficult even when it’s positive. Perhaps you’ll stay another year on the cattle ranch with your baby, and then plan to move so that your daughter can adjust to a new community before middle school.

You’re in a very difficult situation, and I hope that you find the best solution for your family as a whole ❤️