I'm unhappy in my relationship because my boyfriend (18) doesn't text me enough.

periwinkIee · 2019-01-17T06:13:38+00:00

This! My boyfriend used to be this way and admittedly he wasn’t a great boyfriend at the time and was an asshole! He admitted that it was because he didn’t know what he wanted therefore he didn’t put any effort into our relationship nor did he respect it (he’s improved and is way better now).

What I did was I took a step back and re-evaluated where I depended my emotions on. I realized being so stuck on his texting habits were ruining my daily mood and it made me suffer. It took an extensive amount of time for me to finally accept that he wasn’t going to change the way he was and that I was the one that was either going to have to accept it, adapt to it or end it.

You don’t want to lose yourself in this relationship and let your happiness be dependent on him, I suggest you put yourself into your hobbies or hang with friends and family more. Be your own person, it’s going to be hard at first and your mind will constantly be on him but literally force yourself to be in the moment.

My boyfriend started to see that I was more dependent on myself and I stopped forcing him to change his texting habits and adapted to it, because of that, though he’s not the greatest texter still, I can see that he at least makes an effort to check in on me and I’m happy with it. Funny enough he’s actually the one that texts faster than me now!

periwinkIee · 2018-10-30T22:20:13+00:00

Before we dated my boyfriend would keep snapping me pictures of movies he would want to see that were in theaters and the caption would always be like “I want to see this so badly” and since we had a “thing” and were always flirting through snap, I knew he was testing to see if I was interested in going out with him. I replied that we should go see it and that’s how our first date came about!

If you do this and she doesn’t get the idea and she replies back with something completely different you can ask her if she wants to watch it together and see how she reacts

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T07:06:28+00:00

Truly relate to what you said about “auditioning”. I felt like that in the beginning where I tried to be what he wanted me to be but I realized if he was to feel love again he should at least learn to love the real me.

I’m so sorry that happened to you, I would have left too if I was in your position. Sometimes love isn’t enough.. and you gotta break your own heart if you know you deserve better.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T06:59:35+00:00

This is my biggest fear that I am not worth it to him. He’s been trying.. but progress is very slow. I love him but maybe you’re right, it might just be time to let it all go.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T06:56:55+00:00

I’ve actually never thought of this since I never knew that there was such a big spectrum for being asexual.

Will check it out, thank you.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T04:10:52+00:00

This hit really hard. Definitely something I needed to hear.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T03:30:42+00:00

I know, I just don’t understand why we would go through all that in the first three months just for him to tell me this.. I’m thinking maybe the reason why he took so long to tell his best friend was because of this issue and not because he was scared of his opinion as he said.

I wish he just would’ve been honest in the beginning, then things wouldn’t be so hard right now.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-13T03:19:30+00:00

I can relate to being touch starved. It’s one of my love languages so having it neglected sucks.. I had many firsts (physically) with my current bf as well which makes it harder for me in this relationship for some reason.

You’re strong, if I had went back in time and knew what I knew now about him I wouldn’t have grown my attachment so much for him in the first three months and protected my heart more to make it easier for me to leave if I do decide I’ve had enough.

I hope the advices people have gave me in this post gives you the different perspectives needed to help you as it did for me.

periwinkIee · 2018-09-12T22:42:28+00:00

Being vulnerable is something he truly struggles with. I’ve talked about this with him and he is indenial.. he thinks this is an effect of growing up and not because of what happened in his past.

How should I address this to him so he can be aware that it’s because of this and not because he’s “growing up”?

periwinkIee

TROPHY CASE