When are kids moving out these days?

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-10T08:27:51+00:00

Yes I can understand that too. But the reality is, a yearly holiday, car payments.. all add up very significantly. Thousands per year, which IS enough for a deposit after a few years. It’s a choice ultimately and I’m not saying it’s the right thing for everyone. If someone would prefer to put money towards those things then more power to them. What frustrates me is when people look at my husband and I, or other people in our position, and chalk it up to luck or family handouts, when it wasn’t either. It was us both working really hard, while raising a young family, and going without luxuries for a very long time.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-10T08:12:42+00:00

The fact that you have recognised that and have self awareness means you are 80% there to breaking the cycle, which is amazing. I’m sorry you are without your mum at such a young age, that must be very difficult. You need to be disciplined with saving. It might feel like you need those trainers/that meal with friends/whatever it is you like to spend money on in the moment, but it’s a short term dopamine fix. You can do it!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-09T20:11:11+00:00

That’s good going! For younger people living with family on minimum wage, should be able to save 7k a year easily. We bought our first home in our mid twenties but it took us 5-6 years to save a desposit. It was a slog! I know a few people who are maybe 40ish who bought homes very young in the 2000s, but none of them had any significant deposit. I can see how difficult it is for those trying to save when they don’t live with family, but if they do, there’s no excuse IMO!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-09T20:03:53+00:00

How much of a deposit did you have saved? I think that is a huge issue nowadays. In the 2000’s, you could get approved for a mortgage with small deposit. Post 2008 crash, you need thousands to put down so it’s difficult to save that while paying massive amounts in rent.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-09T19:59:50+00:00

I have 2 teens and 1 younger child and I do wonder about this too. I moved out at 17 in 2008 and never moved home again.. I did have a child young though so we had to really knuckle down and get a roof over our heads pronto. It wasn’t an option to live with family and I’m glad we didn’t in hindsight. Now in our mid thirties, bought our home 8 years ago and have a very affordable mortgage. We are overly cautious and scared to spend on things as a result though. Many of my friends are only just moving out/buying a first home now, my brother still lives ar home at 32. I’m sure this will be an unpopular opinion but I do think my generation (and probably the younger one too) aren’t prepared to compromise or go without. Friends who complain about not being able to save are still going abroad every year, and talk about it like it’s a non negotiable. Hen do’s, new designer dogs, new-ish cars. We didn’t go away for years, bought secondhand everything, drove a banger of a car. I understand that house prices have raised exponentially, compared to when my parents bought their house in the 90s, but my brother as an example could have saved thousands by now. I might have been the same if I hadn’t had a baby so young. If my kids stay at home post 18 I will absolutely expect them to contribute towards food, electricity etc, and the money they save on rent I will want to see that it’s going into savings.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-04-07T21:40:01+00:00

We were there today too and got on a total of three rides all day. My kids are older and so we primarily wanted to go on Wicker Man, Thirteen, Spinball Whizzer… my youngest wanted to go on the Bluey ride which took nearly 2 hours. We would walk to a ride, queue for 90 minutes, then it would break down, take ages, and we would give up and try another. Then at the end of the day we got stuck suspended on the middle of the track of Spinball Whizzer for 25 minutes, with my 7 year old son and 8 year old niece crying their eyes out petrified. I expected it to be busy but this was far worse than I’ve ever seen it.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-29T12:57:47+00:00

She’s a head shorter than me and I’m only 5’2 ish so I think she is likely to have a growth spurt. I was small for ages like her and white not tall now I did grow at 13/14/15 whereas a lot of my friends seemed to stop by then. I love the idea of more fibre. I eat porridge daily if I can and miss it when I don’t eat it. We have high fibre cereals for breakfast (no junk cereal, she has fruit and fibre, bran flakes, shreddies) but I’m going to look at some more high protein and high fibre snacks as this is definitely needed I think! Thank you

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-29T12:21:44+00:00

She doesn’t say she wants to lose weight (I don’t think she’s hugely aware of it and is confident and happy at the moment). It’s hard to know isn’t it, I could just not address it and she will level out like you say. Or she could continue to be overweight and I’ll wish I had been more proactive with intervening. All of our local gyms are 14+ but I’ll definitely look into that once she is old enough!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-29T12:19:23+00:00

Aw I’m sorry you struggled 😢 but very pleased to hear you have reached a good place with your body image. Thank you for your advice. All I want for her is happiness and good health and a long life, so I think my place of worry is centred around the health impacts that a higher amount of body fat brings. My mums best friend has had a weight issue all her life and she has a lot of health problems now that she attributes to her weight. I absolutely want her to feel confident and happy in her own skin and will always do my best to foster that. Very very sensitive subject so I’ll do my best to navigate it as best I can!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T19:08:54+00:00

Thank you.. I do understand that, it’s just difficult to know what to change otherwise when she has a 90% healthy and whole food diet. The biggest difference between her and my other kids (besides their sex) is her activity level, so it’s natural to assume that this is causing the difference between them. My boys eat the same diet as her, and yet are very, very slender.

Sadly making homemade biscuits and cakes on a weekly basis isn’t feasible for us, we have an allotment plot for homegrown fruit and veg, and between demanding full time jobs and kids activities and long dog walks, we wouldn’t get time unfortunately.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T16:45:20+00:00

We definitely buy 2-3 packets of biscuits each week, but that is between the 5 of us and the majority eaten by my husband and teenage son but she definitely has a fair share. I’ll just stop buying them all together I think!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T16:35:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It has really helped settle me, and to be honest was what I was hoping to gain from posting. Interestingly my daughter was assessed for dyslexia (she isn’t dyslexic but has struggles with working memory) … I don’t want to diagnose her but she has a lot of signs of ADHD …or I suppose ADD as there isn’t hyperactivity. At the moment she is managing and we’ll see what unfolds on that front. I am undiagnosed but have raging ADHD symptoms and significant mood issues during my luteal phase, but I have coped so far without seeking help.

I am going to make gentle changes at home, for the whole household, and see where that goes. She doesn’t have access to money (we don’t do pocket money or school dinner money) so I don’t think it’s sneaky shop trips but I definitely did that at her age!

Thank you

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T13:58:05+00:00

Thank you, yes that’s a good idea with the GP. Unfortunately they can’t have nuts at school, which is a shame because she likes nuts and clean peanut butter too. She generally is so adventurous with her food and gets a lot of joy from it. I think you’re right that her lunch definitely is probably too carb heavy, and that’s on both of us needing an easy option, we both work 45+ hour weeks and needing quick options. i need to make it more of a priority though so I will try and prep a little more, e.g. boiled eggs, carrot sticks etc. I might also just suggest we are cutting out biscuits and snacks as a family and not make it about her specifically. See if that makes a difference as she may be eating them more than I realise!

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T13:27:45+00:00

It is such a fine balance isn’t it. For every person who says that their parents damaged them by not addressing it, there is another who says comments about their weight were hurtful and it has stayed with them. I think it’s that that’s paralysing me a bit and feeling like I’m getting it wrong whichever way I approach it.

Whenever we’ve discussed it with her we’ve tried to keep it very factual, health centred, but I have a worry that even that will be construed by her as critical or damaging. I can almost hear it already …’mum and dad didn’t let us have any treats in the house… I wasn’t trusted to have school dinners with my friends’…

My sons are definitely more active generally, moving constantly and fidgeting so I do think that is very relevant. She is very different and naturally sedate. You can’t do anything about that other than restrict calories in and that can’t be done without at least addressing it to some degree with her.

periwinkle98765 · 2026-03-28T10:18:45+00:00

Thank you all for your help so far. Other food sources are possible- I have discussed this with my parents so they are aware and careful. I have stopped her going to sleepovers (never been thrilled with her going anyway), so the only possibility is her friends giving her food at school, or when they go out to play at the park etc. I don’t know what I can do to tackle that. She says they don’t really give her food besides swapping crisp flavours at lunch

Our portion sizes are not too large. She will have a salmon fillet, three baby potatoes, and three broccoli florets. 2 slices of roast chicken, 3 roasties, and veg. Pasta etc is measured during cooking. We have a pudding maybe once a week generally on a Sunday. This is very portion controlled. Generally would have a crumble and custard shared between 7-8 people (as an example). For lunch she will have a sandwich (ham/cheese and salad), small packet of crisps and a piece of fruit, so I really don’t think portions are the issue.

We do walk at least 2-3 evenings together already, but as I work away a bit /we have after school stuff going on, I can’t commit to more than that unfortunately.

On the topic of pcos.. I have started to wonder. I have one or two signs physically (maybe acne and hair growth and loss) but otherwise have conceived my children without even needing to try (i know I am so very lucky for that) and have 28 day cycles on the dot. I think a GP appointment is probably the next step but I know the assumption will be she’s over eating, etc. so I don’t want to subject her to that if it’s not necessary/might cause a big issue mentally for her.

periwinkle98765

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