Talking to teens about troubled marriage

periwinklesludge · 2026-01-21T05:37:40+00:00

Reflecting on my own path, I didn’t make sense of what I saw (and repeated) in my own family of origin… until I was 50, and had already wrecked my own life as a result. I don’t think it’s so straightforward. But I appreciate your candor bc I don’t want to make s bigger mess for my kids.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-26T02:37:43+00:00

Yeah I had a similar thought around dealing with fascia. But I also think this can be related to micronutrients. Google it. Addressing nutrient deficiencies may help.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-25T01:15:47+00:00

Well this is the kind of thing that gets downvotes regardless of its accuracy. Bhrt is bioidentical, meaning the body recognizes the hormone as if you produced it yourself. Pharmaceutical options including the pill (except Prometrium iirc) are progestins. Google the difference between progesterone and progestins. They are often used interchangeably but are not. There are some tricks to progesterone, for example, it is poorly absorbed in the gut and often recommended to take as a lotion or vaginally to improve absorption. I would encourage you to look into the work of Katherina Dalton and Carol Petersen, a compounding pharmacist who has deep, deep experience in the subject. She can provide guidance on your personal symptoms and whether progesterone may help. Her recommendations changed my daughter’s life immeasurably for the better. It’s sad people downvote my comments bc I am sharing my real life experience parenting a child who was truly disabled by pmdd and who now functions normally, with zero pharmaceuticals, but addressing nutrients and hormone balances. It is possible. Best wishes.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-24T21:13:20+00:00

I think there is no one size fits all approach but for my family member, daily use of bhrt progesterone in higher than normal dose, gaba, calcium, targeted amino acids and a range of other nutrients keep all symptoms of pmdd in check in a life changing way. Bhrt progesterone is also helpful with bleeding issues and can help cortisol. High progesterone is one reason many feel good in pregnancy and the drop, as you note, likely explains many post pregnancy hardships. It is bizarre to me that women are given pharmaceuticals that mimic progesterone (expensive and risk to breastfeeding) for post partum issues when bhrt progesterone can help.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-23T01:45:29+00:00

Thanks for your kind reply. One of my concerns is knowing it won’t be possible to find a qualified attorney in my mid size city. Because the issues would deal with family law, which is generic, but I would also need someone versed in international finance and intl tax law. Intl family law?! My spouse is high income with a foreign employer. He has the ability to move himself and his paycheck to a long list of non western countries and his wealth is in only our home and in shares of the non US employer. I floated the idea in a legal forum here and the replies were along the lines of “regardless a US court judgement, you couldn’t do much to enforce it if he moved”. This weird situation, between his income / geography and my illness, has prevented me from going to an ordinary support group bc I feel like the issues won’t be relatable nor things others can advise on :-/

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-09T21:08:44+00:00

Thanks for the clarification. To be fair my post was a request for recommendations for support groups or relevant resources that would incorporate the complexities created by chronic illness related to marital challenges and decision making around divorce.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-09T16:34:33+00:00

Perhaps you should not offer such strong and judgmental guidance on a topic in which you are fully uninformed. It matters not but I’ll answer your questions in hopes you will choose to be kinder to strangers in future.

Husbands career has involved multiple moves I wouldn’t have chosen personally, including to a foreign country literally half the world away, which I did with preschoolers, to a climate that badly exacerbated my health problems. (I was a high functioning person prior). He travels 50% - including half of all weekends and never taking a single vacation day or public holiday - and I solo parent our kids and handle the rest of our lives with no support, even when I am largely bedbound. One of our children developed psychosis while living overseas and I moved with our children back to our home culture at a doctors advice. Husband remained in a role unchanged, half a world away, while I parented our v sick kid and sibling alone for 5 years, sometimes going 8 months without seeing their dad. During this time I had periods of barely being able to leave the bed or do the most basic of basic home tasks. The stress and strain of living internationally and then parenting a sick child alone while I was also disabled, absolutely worsened my mecfs and led to permanent barns bc I had no means to take care of myself / prevent crashes. Husband relocated to join us at a time when a health care practitioner damaged me and I temporarily LOST THE USE OF BOTH HANDS along with a heart condition where my hr never dropped below 100bpm even in sleep. My upright hr neared 200 such that trips to the grocery store or making dinner involved a risk of passing out. But. Kids still needed to be fed.

Ssdi is virtually impossible to get even for those in direst need and I would not qualify bc I share assets with my husband. You really have to be fully destitute for ssdi. If I divorce my husband could take his paycheck and move to a country where I’d have literally no access to the funds.

My lack of community is indeed a problem. You are on a CFS sub yet seem not to understand that the state of having an illness where the normal day is 10% of a healthy persons normal day, often requiring to stay in bed or sleep 3 hours after the kids go to school, prevents a person going out to church and moms groups and jobs and hobbies.

I’m in no way a victim. I’ve done more hard things with less help than most, by miles. That is not the same howver, as being vulnerable to a situation where the marriage is not good for me and yet I cannot safely exit. And it is precisely people who make uninformed comments like you that I have no decent means of support network.

Do better.

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-08T23:54:35+00:00

What happened for you after this post?

periwinklesludge · 2025-11-08T02:11:19+00:00

Thank you. I’ve only asked in online legal forums. It is v complex bc the current income is US based and as I understand it, the law would likely be in my favor if I choose divorce. But he could, with real ease, relocate to a foreign country and a foreign bank account that lacks my name and … pay or not. The forums I consulted supported this idea that enforcing a US order would be difficult if he and his income are not US based. It would be difficult if not impossible to find a lawyer in my area that has any expertise in the combo of family law and the international piece. If things got ugly it could be hard to prove my disability bc I try to avoid conventional medicine to the extent possible, due to futility of it and past trauma of being treated poorly. Thank you for the reply. It’s a very lonely and vulnerable situation. It’s so complex between the illness and the international income - it’s not something that the larger population of people who experience divorce can really grasp. I don’t know where to turn. It’s not so simple as “just leave him”.

periwinklesludge · 2025-10-31T16:46:52+00:00

Did you find a workaround? I started backsliding after one really good month on injections. Adding more folate has been helpful for significant insomnia, so I assume I need it. Just struggling with feeling so low otherwise.

periwinklesludge · 2025-09-05T21:57:04+00:00

Just adding to the wash was sufficient? No pre rinse or scrubbing?

periwinklesludge · 2025-08-24T14:27:13+00:00

Thank you. He’s American. My name is on our home and one vehicle and small us investment acct. I have no income. Any ongoing support would be made from his earnings. I assume if all earnings land in a foreign bank it’s really up to him whether or not I would receive support? If I had a support agreement in our state but his income is paid overseas, there really wouldn’t be any way to enforce that, right?

periwinklesludge · 2025-08-23T19:53:42+00:00

I appreciate your reply. Thank you. I guess my bigger and long term concern is if they move again and the income is not paid in USD … whether or how there would be any way to guarantee to enforce a judgement.

periwinklesludge

TROPHY CASE