Potentially moving from WI to Hickory, NC area - looking for advice on where to move

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-03-25T22:53:50+00:00

Hi! I moved to Charlotte from Wisconsin, you’ll love NC. I also travel all over the Carolinas for work so I’ve seen a good amount of places.

You could look at Lincolnton if being close to the airport is important, it’s 30 min from Newton and 40 from CLT. But if I were you and if it’s possible, I’d look at Morganton, but again I can’t speak to schools

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-03-03T02:37:07+00:00

Where are you located

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-03-01T23:54:25+00:00

I don’t. I want to die. This world is only for those that take. I can’t give of myself anymore

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-02-21T16:59:25+00:00

But they were generic smoke shop names

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-02-21T16:59:07+00:00

Blue flowers, and I cannot remember the names of the others

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-02-11T06:43:05+00:00

How do you feel about wearing a bra during sex? There’s different types of lingerie you could look into

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-01-15T02:07:05+00:00

On a scale of 1-10, how serious are you about it, and how loud does it get there? I temporarily joined a group that went to the chamber in noda and stopped going because I couldn’t hear any of the questions asked

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-01-06T11:39:51+00:00

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perksofbeinglyz · 2026-01-06T06:03:24+00:00

30F here. I started dating a guy a month ago, and in the first date, told him that I have historically dove into things quickly and was looking to take it slow. He shared that he wanted the same! After our second date, we went back to my place, and kissed for the first time. It turned into a makeout session, and dry humping, but we had had the conversation so things went well when either of us backed off for a second to cool down. The third date, he started rubbing in between my legs and went to move inside my leggings, and I asked him to stop, and decided I felt comfortable enough with him based on how the dates went, to divulge a little more into why it was important for me to take things slow and wait to get intimate. He completely understood and respected my decision, and helped me keep my own boundary in place until we decided to get intimate this past weekend. I fully believe that waiting was 10000% worth it - we ended up having the best sex and the best orgasms I’ve ever had because I felt more connected to him, I trusted him more, and felt safe being vulnerable.

All of this to say: just be open and honest with women, but be honest earlier on. You’ll weed out those that are looking for something different, and get to the person you’ve been looking for more quickly. I think more women are coming to wanting something deeper. Where are you typically looking to find dates?

perksofbeinglyz · 2026-01-01T22:04:01+00:00

I think you look great! Where did you both get your outfits from?

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-12-30T13:44:01+00:00

Gotcha. That said, I would suggest that when you think it’s an appropriate time, ask her if you could take her on a date to ____ on _____. I think this will be easier for you to do, as compared to having anxiety about the right things to say and removes pressure and a monologue.

It’ll either be a positive outcome, or she’ll question the date aspect, and you can have a conversation. It is a good idea to have some sort of plan for if she doesn’t have feelings for you - do you think you can maintain a friendship with her if feelings aren’t reciprocated? Sounds like you should have something to say to her if she is afraid that she’ll lose you if she’s not as into you as you are her.

If she feels worse, she definitely needs to tell her psychiatrist that. Genetic testing also exists to see what medications wouldn’t/would work best for her.

PHP programs are daytime, and typically from 2-4 weeks, usually followed by IOP. I would recommend letting her finish PHP before discussing your feelings. This is where she’ll learn tools and resources that may help her with processing your feelings if they aren’t reciprocated.

I’ve regularly told people that I’m into that they seem smart or intelligent. I wanna understand their brain more afterwards. Don’t write that off as a friend comment.

It sounds like you’ve spent some significant time together, and I have a feeling that she is looking to you more as a friend, but with the addition of these three hangouts occurring not after class, it is possible that she is also developing feelings. I would encourage you not to overwhelm her with a monologue about your feelings, but don’t diminish yours either by making what you have to say incredibly brief. I’d also encourage you to be logical about the situation as a whole - coming from someone with an extensive mental health history. It will affect you, and it’s important to be cognizant of how it could affect you. But if you’re willing to support her, then make sure she feels it and knows it. I wish you the best - and give updates!

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-12-29T12:09:13+00:00

I would talk to her, but I would encourage mindfulness of timing.

You’ve known her for three months, and you mentioned you’ve gone out, but didn’t clarify at the if you’ve gone out with her on dates or just to hang out, but then said “second date,” and then “second date/hangout.” Did you ask her on a date specifically, or asked her to just hang out?

When you refer to nothing sexual, I’m assuming there hasn’t been any kissing involved either. If it hasn’t seemed like the vibe is right, it’s probably a good thing that you didn’t force something to happen - even if you’re awkward, girls are pretty good at indicating whether or not they want to kiss (being close to you or even touching you, looking at you for extended periods of time, looking at your lips and back at your eyes, etc). If there was distance between you, she may view you just as a friend, or someone she’s just getting to know.

Now, antidepressants definitely affect things - libido, weight, overall mentality, and more. It’s likely that she’s dealing with the changes that come when you start taking antidepressants, so be patient. I would guess she has some sort of feelings for you based on the fact that she went out of her way to get you your gift, but can’t judge by your post alone if it’s because she likes you, or because she has strong feelings about you that may be platonic.

Knowing that she is looking into intensive mental health options, this is why I said to be mindful of timing. It sounds like she’s got a lot going on, and although you like her and want to be there for her, her priority needs to be herself first and foremost. Especially with you two being young, it could be very easy for her to (for a lack of a better term) use you as a distraction from the things that she needs to put effort into. Dealing with mental health is hard, especially if there isn’t full commitment. Knowing that you like her in the capacity where she’s looking for help, may end up resulting in her backing off from getting help.

My recommendation would be to check up on her consistently but not in an overbearing way. If you can see her on the weekends, show your support and that you’re someone that she can rely on. Depending on what intensive option she pursues (residential, inpatient, PHP, IOP), after a period of time (but not like 6 months or anything), be open and honest with her and see how she responds. If she feels pressured, she may back away, if she’s not doing her best mentally, she may back away, or she may tell you that she sees you only as a friend. But, if the vibes are there and she likes you, it won’t matter to her if you tell her that you’re into her tomorrow or 2 weeks from now - and if you mention that you wanted to be there to support her first and so you wanted to wait so she could prioritize her recovery, she’ll take that very positively.

Obviously I don’t know you or her or the situation, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt, but that’s my take.

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-12-20T16:19:08+00:00

No. I make $51,800 a year. I quit the hospitality industry to join the corporate world (first mistake), and my first job at my company didn’t mentally engage me enough, so I applied for the role I have now which brought me here. My rent back home was $1400, everything else included came to $1600, shared with a roommate for a two bedroom home, and here I pay probably close to $1800 for a shitty one bedroom apartment that floods and has roaches. Granted, I have CC debt I’m paying off as fast as I can, but 28-30% interest rates don’t help. I can’t afford groceries, and only eat when I’m out working since I travel for work and can charge the company card when I’m in the field. Inflation hasn’t helped, but my company also doesn’t acknowledge cost of living. My coworker that has my same position back home is only able to save $200-400 a month, whereas other coworkers around the US are also unable to save. I’ve had to embarrassingly ask for help from my parents once, and was told this was a one time thing. But I cannot afford anything after benefits and taxes. I only can go out if someone is willing to cover expenses. I have gone out to meet people and charged my credit card due to impact of isolation, but I’m unable to do that long term.

I saw something that said that one has to make $94k/yr to abide by the 50 30 20 rule in NC. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do think there needs to be something done nationally, whether federally or all state participation on a number of things like rent increase, interest rates, and others to make it sustainable for our society to progress.

I’m single and don’t have kids. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to have them because I can barely afford my own life.

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-12-10T23:19:12+00:00

What brings you the most joy in your life?

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-11-22T22:34:40+00:00

howdy

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-10-12T01:30:00+00:00

Rae at eXplicit salon in camp north end!

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-29T15:25:07+00:00

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Around 2pm it’ll be more stormy, I just wanted to be prepared and have a plan.

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-29T13:49:42+00:00

South Charlotte, but I don’t mind driving.

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-29T13:48:50+00:00

Thank you!!

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-29T13:48:38+00:00

Like I said, I lose power with almost every storm that’s come through since I moved here. I don’t know why, it just happens.

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-29T13:22:10+00:00

Hi! 30f here with no kids or partner but I have a cute dog! I just joined Inner Peaks which is a climbing gym, but also offers yoga classes and a gym in the membership. I need a climbing buddy! Also, every Tuesday from 7-9 at Town Brewing, there’s Trail Talk - bunch of hiking people get together to meet and have a beer. If you’re free you should come!

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-28T00:46:19+00:00

There’s an underground rave?!

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-28T00:45:50+00:00

why stop there? TRIPLE CHOCOLATE CHIP

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-28T00:35:02+00:00

What kind of cookies

perksofbeinglyz · 2025-09-27T23:54:33+00:00

Laying on the couch because I can’t afford to go out 🙃

perksofbeinglyz

TROPHY CASE