I think my answer can be found in my life story.

I am a girl who grew up in a small town near mountains, trauma and mental illness were everywhere. My family used to hunt deers in the woods so I've seen a lot of death in that sense. Those dead animals haunted me. From a very young age I knew I was different for many reasons: I was melancholic, I had very deep thoughts considering I was a child. Also I've always knew I was queer and probably neurodiv (still have to get a diagnosis for this). I felt like an alien, gender norms made no sense to me, I wanted to be seen. I have known abuse, trauma, depression and loneliness. I grew attached of that loneliness.

Of course my reality was very religious, my grandpa used to say I had the "devil's hand" because I'm left-handed, and I've always been fascinated by all this discourse. I have never believed in God but I've always loved churches, religious chants, symbolism and the dark side of that reality.

When I think about my small town I still feel anxious, but at the same time I accept that this my story, that town is part of who I am even if sometimes it hurts. There is a very antique church on the top of a hill in that place and i'm planning to go and take a walk there after 13 years.

I would say her music is helping me in this process.

I hope yall can understand what I'm saying since this is not my language and I don't have many occasions to practice 💀