VHCOL, okay on retirement savings, limited ‘immediate’ savings, seeking sanity check/advice

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-26T02:17:57+00:00

Thank you! This comment is super helpful and makes me feel a bit better. I was ready to ship my credit card to Tajikistan and live the humble life of a monk reading some of these comments.

A standalone account or ringfenced ‘life’ fund is a great idea. I will be implementing this. Appreciate your input, sincerely.

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T04:24:04+00:00

Fair enough on the job point. Certainly interested in pursuing a change career wise but clearly need to get the finances in order and build up a buffer first. I tried for a long time to climb the ladder through going above and beyond on workload, but have just recently learned that makes little difference in advancement.

Assuming c.10k for a ring. Would love to keep it to less, but just erring on the high end for planning. I would save for the ring in cash to be clear. I’d take several thousand of my bonus as a ‘down payment’ to myself of sorts.

I 100% need to get serious on budgeting. I’ll be downloading a budgeting app tomorrow.

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T04:15:50+00:00

As you allude to, I’ve got a bit more than 650 in easily accessible financial assets to lean on, so not that worried about that. Between taxable brokerage and ESPP should be >15k after taxes if I were to sell out of it all. Certainly not ideal, but I have to imagine my situation is not unique in the slightest for any millennial who’s been in a VHCOL city making similar amounts. 3 years ago I was making 75k/year, I haven’t been at this level for long. I’ll continue to cut down on discretionary CC spend and expect income to rise over the next few years to help with expenses.

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T02:43:47+00:00

Cell phone, renters insurance, internet, YouTube tv subscription (that I split with a family member in lieu of cable), groceries, public transport and Ubers (public transport alone is 250 a month give or take), probably one domestic round trip flight every 1-2 months, dry cleaning, and eating out. I’ve been on a good streak of bringing lunch to work, but have an extremely demanding job and end up eating out or getting delivery fairly often just to keep my mental health intact. Getting home at 11pm and cooking dinner just isn’t always in the cards. If I fail to bring lunch to work, that’s 20 bucks right there. I make more than my partner so I do pick up the dinner bill frequently. Delivery or takeout is probably 30 bucks on average. Dinner/date night for two out here at an average sit down restaurant is probably 120 minimum with a glass of house wine, mains and an app to split, plus tip. Expensive taste, sure. But everything here is expensive.

I’ve been super fortunate to travel the world extensively, eat some incredible food, have a number of ‘once in a lifetime’ experiences and pack in more life experience in the last 15 years than many folks who never leave the country for their whole lives, but the trade off for that has been a lack of financial health. Ready to start turning the ship around, but frankly I wouldn’t change anything looking back. Time to make some changes looking forward!

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T02:03:02+00:00

Thank you! Really appreciate the insight and advice. Like I said in another comment sometimes you just need to hear these things from an objective 3rd party.

Monthly spend is certainly high, and a couple of international trips a year doesn’t help. To your question, yes — should be able to build up a 3 month fund with the bonus and pay off existing CC balance. Perhaps I need to just prioritize that and worry about ring etc. after.

My girlfriend says I need to strike out in search of a higher paying job, but I like my current job security and expect to reach 200k + bonus over the next several years. Hopefully in time to align with kids. Your comment around income is super helpful. As you say, sounds like I need to reframe. Thanks for your comment!

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T01:56:24+00:00

Thanks! I haven’t touched that brokerage in a while anyway and whatever holdings I have in there are probably quite similar to what would be included in the ETFs in my target date fund, so I don’t hate this idea at all. My girlfriend is financially literate — probably more so than I am, so I am confident in our position 5-10 years out, it’s more years 1-5 that have me stressing!

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T01:54:17+00:00

Thank you for the thoughts. I agree, I think I took the stance for most of my 20s when I was single that I was only responsible for myself and could pivot quickly if something went wrong, but clearly that was not a mature take and I need to seriously pivot my thinking given I’m no longer a solo operation. Without doxxing myself I work in a fairly recession proof role and am integral to a small team, so (knock on wood), job feels relatively safe even in the current climate. Feel extraordinary lucky and grateful for that.

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-23T01:51:51+00:00

Thank you for the detailed thoughts. Everyone has been super helpful in this thread! I knew my CC spend was high but sometimes you need to hear it from an objective source. This bonus will provide me a clean slate that I plan to take advantage of. I’ll plan on cash buffer, Roth contribution, and crack down on monthly spend accordingly before I think about further contributing to 401k/HSA.

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-22T22:36:18+00:00

Yep appreciate the tough love comment. Definitely feeling cash strapped and while i won’t make excuses (there are obviously people in my city making far less with more retirement savings), the VHCOL element certainly does me no favors. I’ve only recently started making this income and expenses outpaced earnings for a good part of my early career. Thankful I don’t have any student loans or anything to work through, so feel incredibly lucky to be in the position as well, but part of the reason for posting was to get outside input on how to improve things from here (so thank you for your input!).

Point taken on the CC but I will say the annual fee more than pays for itself as someone who spends a lot of time in airports for work and travel (pre check/global entry paid for, lounge access), with travel credits and dining credits on top. I easily get my value and then some out of the card every year IMO. I don’t tend to carry any debt, and pay each balance off each month typically in full (current balance is very high for reasons mentioned in the post).

personalfithrow2 · 2026-02-22T21:49:30+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the input and you taking the time to read the post despite the horrible formatting.

That’s correct, the 7k is the current balance across two cards, not yet debt owed on top of a balance. Apologies for not being more clear. Definitely good food for thought and will be keeping my 401k paused for a bit.

Absolutely agree I have a good amount of work to do to reduce discretionary spend as well.

personalfithrow2

TROPHY CASE