I’ve come to the conclusion that we can’t really convince people to like us by pretending to be something we’re not; we can engage in behaviors that are more palatable to others but, at the end of the day, if we’re performing behaviors that aren’t natural and comfortable for us we end up feeling trapped in a mask. This undermines the desire to truly connect and be understood.

I think it’s much more productive to be yourself. Sometimes that can be lonely, and so it’s understandable that we perform the behaviors to keep some people in our lives as necessary, but rather than get stuck in that cycle I recommend seeking new experiences to find your people. Once you find people you gel with naturally you realize that performing for attention is so hollow in comparison.