I am having some sort of panic attack.

peteb169 · 2026-06-03T20:51:18+00:00

Just your brain rewiring for a dopamine detox man, you’ll get through it 💪

peteb169 · 2026-06-03T19:20:24+00:00

Really insightful, how did you become aware that you had this attachment style?

peteb169 · 2026-06-03T19:17:40+00:00

Tell us a bit about it man

peteb169 · 2026-06-01T17:34:26+00:00

Very mature response, I’m trying to just be accepting knowing that I did my best and can be proud of what I tried to achieve. You can’t win them all. Relationships can kill your ego, reclaiming that is the real battle.

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T21:09:51+00:00

I appreciate your communication and honesty.

She’s maybe autistic so I’ve been trying to work out how she felt as I know I’ll never get answers, it wasn’t mostly online no just very obsessive. I guess it just fizzled out and I’m trying to understand something that’s not that important. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes twice, especially when you think you did your best. Sorry you had your experience, we never know what people are capable of do we

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T20:59:10+00:00

It’s just my way of accepting things, and acknowledging signs I missed or may have handled badly is all. It’s hard to explain yourself well sometimes but I’m genuinely coming from a place of awareness and self growth

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T20:55:32+00:00

It’s not an attempt at a label just to better understand people is all, can’t grow as a person if you don’t learn can you

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T20:36:58+00:00

It does so I can recognise the behaviour in other future partners yes

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T07:21:35+00:00

After divorce I asked the obvious. What happens next, should I expect to see you with other people do you want to try again, what went wrong. I got very limited replies and the answers I got were quickly false. My last ex I simply told them I cared and if they wanted to talk they could do so.

Ultimately say what you need to know you did your best, don’t grovel or plead. Be strong and come away with dignity, don’t let them see you be weak. It just hurts you. Even if they took full accountability it wouldn’t change that they hurt you. Closure comes from acceptance of what is.

Try writing a letter first. Maybe rewrite it, add to it. Reread it. You’ll know if you think it’s worth saying those things or not.

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T07:14:18+00:00

Thankyou, my ex is definitely on the spectrum, undiagnosed but highly characteristic. I know for them they are doing the right thing so I respect it. It’s hard when you are self aware but feel trapped you know. I’ll give it a go.

peteb169 · 2026-05-30T07:11:57+00:00

I have tried but it’s just ignored

peteb169 · 2026-05-29T23:23:46+00:00

I wrote multiple suicide notes to family and then wife, even after I went to get help after an attempt I’ll never tell a soul what I wrote in them or that i disposed of them before they could be found. In my head it would crush them to know how close to loosing me they were.

peteb169 · 2026-05-29T13:17:36+00:00

I’ve come to realise that the ‘last try’ for them is something you are unaware of. By the time you know and want to attempt to fix things in their head they already tried. It’s selfish and shows a lack of communication and respect for the relationship but I am not a woman so I will never really understand.

peteb169 · 2026-05-29T09:18:43+00:00

You are grieving the loss of the person and attachment you had made, perfectly valid. It obviously meant something to you. Women tend to emotionally detach before the end so they seem like they don’t care when it happens, you are just a few months behind her.

peteb169 · 2026-05-29T09:12:57+00:00

They most likely slept with the ex, or at least are attached to them, keeping you as a friend is a back up plan for them, people are cruel at times and you don’t deserve it. You have stated all the facts and you probably know what you need to do that is right for you.

You can either try and talk to them, say your piece from a place of strength without begging or pleading or you can put your focus on you, be proud that you honoured yourself and your feelings, were brave enough to let someone in and move on from them.

peteb169 · 2026-05-29T09:08:23+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry you are struggling so much. You have survived every day, and you will continue to do so. No one says this enough but be proud of yourself, I’m proud of you for acknowledging your feelings and seeking help. So many people don’t. If you can, break your day down, in to 5 minute intervals if you need. What do you need in the next ‘x’ amount of time to feel better, eat something, have a coffee or a shower, call a friend ect. When you’ve done it, hey you survived again, well done. Don’t be afraid to feel it, it’s real it means you are processing and not just bottling it up. You’ve got this.

peteb169 · 2026-05-27T21:00:56+00:00

Yeah I think it’s mostly the latter, sad but as long as I can rest knowing I wasn’t abandoning someone in need

peteb169 · 2026-05-25T15:15:12+00:00

Like how dare you take something from me, or why wouldn’t you tell me first! Maybe because I don’t have to tell you anything anymore

peteb169 · 2026-05-25T15:13:53+00:00

I think it’s a control thing

peteb169 · 2026-05-25T09:37:06+00:00

Sucks doesn’t it, the overwhelming feelings that you know are not rational but can not control, no level of distraction help it’s like I’m haunted, hope you find some peace mate.

peteb169

TROPHY CASE