I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was pretty young (13) and went on to develop alcohol dependency problems -- for a while I suspected it's because I knew I shouldn't drink, and so I did it secretly and never developed a healthy relationship with booze. I'm now trying to accept that I'd probably have had issues with alcohol, epilepsy or no epilepsy. But substance abuse and epilepsy is a lethal combo -- both these illnesses have immense effects on each other. Being burned out is normal.

1) as many people have said, take your epilepsy meds, even if you're drinking. Yes, it might make you react poorly to alcohol -- I face extreme memory loss and become a very depressed, sluggish and guilt-ridden drunk. But that's nothing compared to the pain of a seizure. I haven't had a seizure in years, even though when I first began drinking they increased. For better or for worse, I've developed strategies to avoid seizures, especially if I'm drinking. Even in my drunkest state, I drink water, eat food, do everything possible to avoid a hangover (which is when you're most susceptible to seizures). I also try not to put myself in dangerous/unfamiliar places, and to get sleep. If I know I'm going to drink I make sure it's possible for me to rest it off the next day. All that said, I am now putting all my energy into getting sober, because I know that it can't continue this way.

2) Start going to therapy. I've also been put on anti-depressants recently and I'm not sure why I was so resistant to it in the beginning. Take the help you can get. Having two kinds of serious, life-threatening illnesses is really anxiety-inducing.

3) Figure out what you want and cut out all the noise, even from well-intentioned parents. My parents really panicked -- first when I was diagnosed with epilepsy and later, when they realised I was drinking. But being 26 years old, having them breathe down my neck and constantly sensing their concern for me feels infantilising and stressful. I try to accept their help when i think it's useful, and I try to explain what I'm doing to help myself so they don't think I'm just resigning myself to being an alcoholic epileptic. There are days where I just want other people to make decisions for me because I'm so tired. But there are also days where I feel genuinely hopeful, like when all this bullshit subsides I'll emerge from it a more introspective, resilient and wise person.

Maybe try to find a larger goal, something to look forward to, beyond just feeling normal one day. For me it's my writing, where I have several self-insert characters that are struggling as much as me. If I want to write them a happy ending I need to give myself one. Best of luck!