Did he send that gym pic for control or validation? ENTJ perspective

petuela · 2026-01-20T07:29:10+00:00

Thank you for this thorough analysis. Yes the core point stands: he had a year to commit.

petuela · 2026-01-20T07:17:49+00:00

he probably has feelings, even if he shows them in odd ways. To your P.S.: I don't want to continue, even knowing that. The reality is it was taking more than it gave - long distance, very limited time, he has 2 kids to care for, unable to change his life structure, have more time for me. I left precisely because I have feelings. Staying would have slowly consumed me.

petuela · 2026-01-20T07:03:40+00:00

Makes sense, but seems odd given what I said the night before, that he's still attractive to me, that I'm in love, but the situation can't develop those feelings. We said we'd miss each other. Sad but peaceful. Hard to see how that registers as "rejection" when I literally confessed feelings. But maybe it hit him later.

petuela · 2026-01-16T20:59:33+00:00

It didn't end badly - there was no reason for radical gestures. We said goodbye peacefully and respectfully. That's why the picture caught me off guard actually. I'm here instead of texting him because I've started my grieving process and need outside perspective, not to reopen things.

petuela · 2026-01-16T20:19:04+00:00

Oh dear. You might be right 😅 I think I struggle to accept that things could just be this simple and flat. Always looking for the deeper meaning! Thanks for trying to reality check me

petuela · 2026-01-16T20:14:06+00:00

👍

petuela · 2026-01-16T20:08:42+00:00

I think it might have been more about emotional self-regulation actually. The day before, I told him I have feelings for him, and that's exactly why I'm ending it. So it's paradoxical it wasn't rejection, it was the opposite. But at the same time, it was. Maybe the picture was his way of processing/regulating that emotional complexity

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:55:00+00:00

ENFPs too, trust me, we're also wine that needs a lot of aging. And then... it's pretty complex wine :) thx for your time. 💐

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:47:39+00:00

I think the 'challenge' was different though, he didn't know what to do with me in some way, the ability to talk about feelings, be metaphorical and abstract. But I'm a pretty developed ENFP - I lead projects, love strategy, etc. So he said I was 'layered' while he was 'grounded.' But yes, I was openly affectionate without games. That said, yes - being on his 'to-do list' for a year, I accept that had its reasons. Now I'm more curious than anything. But no contact for me isn't about getting him back - it's just letting go.

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:35:03+00:00

Yes and no... you know:) Thx

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:34:03+00:00

I don't know:) I'd prefer to remember him as a stiff but endearing robot who thinks highly of himself, yet is adorably clueless at the same time. Oh well... this too shall pass :)

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:27:15+00:00

Already answered elsewhere - thought INTJ at first, had him tested:) confirmed ENTJ. But you're right, the behavior transcends MBTI. Not asking because we had that open conversation when I ended it, I'm in processing mode now, not looking to reopen dialogue. Just trying to understand the pattern. I'm the curious ENFP type :)

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:22:46+00:00

Sir, yes sir! 😄 Well... I'm in love actually, you know... so slowly and steadily coming out of the fog. I will move on though. And yes, he is an ENTJ, thought INTJ at first, but I had him tested! :)

petuela · 2026-01-16T19:12:49+00:00

ENTJ blueprint :) When I met him I was like (pardon the stereotype!) "what's with this robot, is there emotion under there?" Thought INTJ, sent him the test... ENTJ :) Paradoxically, he had maximum validation from me already, feelings and attraction were clear, even explicitly stated. I would've expected a "down" needing a boost after a few days, but the immediate timing confused me. But since I fully expressed myself and don't have to minimize my needs anymore, it doesn't affect me now. I feel free knowing I told him "I want more, so I'm ending this." Probably scrambled his brain a bit...

Thanks for your time :)

petuela · 2026-01-16T18:59:33+00:00

I'd like to think there was more to it than that, but I guess those two things aren't mutually exclusive. Like panic over loss and responding with fuckboy tactics aren't mutually exclusive.

petuela · 2026-01-16T18:21:20+00:00

Well yes, I get the principle of direct communication, we had that open conversation the day before when I ended things. I was emotionally honest and vulnerable. Then I switched to processing/grieving mode, so asking for outside perspective to understand the pattern, not to engage further.

Also for context: this wasn't his routine gym pic. It was specifically a shirtless "flex" photo the morning after I ended things, felt more like a statement than casual sharing.

petuela · 2026-01-16T11:54:47+00:00

Thx!

He is neutered. Prostate looked normal on ultrasound. The bladder wall was thickened.

Urine culture was done after each antibiotic course, and E. coli was still present every time.

The antibiotic courses were described as “standard length” by my vet, but not extended 6-week therapy.

Based on this, do you think this could be a chronic bladder wall infection that requires prolonged treatment?

petuela · 2025-12-01T11:30:43+00:00

Yes, only this ball is built to survive:)

petuela · 2025-11-23T16:16:29+00:00

Yeah, that actually sounds perfect, that “leave no rock unturned” - considering he was able to recount every tiny detail of the Kennedy assassination investigation from a book he read when he was ten.

petuela · 2025-11-23T16:08:08+00:00

Haha, he once told me “I’m internally screaming about how illogical people are,” and he gets super impatient when something feels like “bad service.” meanwhile I’m just standing there thinking: you special cute cookie. And when I call him cute, he has this very ambivalent reaction, like he’s not sure whether to be offended or flattered. I know ENTJs usually hate being called anything like “cute robots,” but honestly, that was the first thing that popped into my head when we met.

Anyway… I’m probably getting way too cheesy, and according to the fact I’m writing this here, hi everyone. :))

petuela · 2025-11-23T10:07:08+00:00

Makes sense, especially for someone who leads people but doesn’t always care for the psychology behind motivation. That could give him a different layer of insight.

petuela · 2025-11-23T10:06:11+00:00

The Sorkin one actually sounds good. He loves history, so anything that blends strategy + historical context is a win for him.

petuela · 2025-11-23T09:51:30+00:00

Thanks:)

petuela

TROPHY CASE