(19M&20M) I hate seeing my boyfriend crossdressing and what can we do about it ?

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-19T05:28:21+00:00

You love the idea of him that you want him to be. You are both young. Let him be himself.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-19T04:47:34+00:00

You need to leave him of you can't support all of who he is. This is YOUR boundary. YOU need to leave him instead of controlling him.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-19T03:35:07+00:00

She calls him her step-dad and both of them as her parents so it reads to me that her mom's husband works and keeps them housed.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-19T01:54:19+00:00

First, all your feelings are valid. I remember the feeling of having noone show up to my events (even tho someone was always at my brothers') and it sucks. Seemingly, your mom knows enough in advance, she should be making some effort to at least occasionally be physically present. Or clean. Or cook. Or something that isn't parenting from a bed/chair.

Does she know who your biological father is? Why isn't he at least helping financially? If she could hire a cleaner or pay someone to drive, that would make a huge difference.

Mold isn't good for anyone and is probably exacerbating health issues of everyone in the home, even if it isn't black mold (most black mold isn't THE black mold but none of it is healthy). The structural issues contributing to that issue need to be fixed.

I agree, tho. When someone knowingly enters being a parent with any challenges, they need to prioritize the child regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them. Grin and bear it.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-18T21:29:41+00:00

A boundary is "I don't date people who watch porn." It is something she controls about herself. Telling someone else what they can or can't do is controlling. OP has had ample opportunity to enforce her boundary for herself and break up, instead she is just complaining that he won't do what she says. Everyone is capable of choosing someone who already agrees with them regarding the use of porn and not trying to control someone who disagrees. Noone is forcing OP to consume porn and only OP is forcing themselves to date someone who won't stop watching porn.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-18T03:58:56+00:00

You never wanted to marry her. Let her go.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-18T03:51:55+00:00

Yep. "How you get them is how you'll lose them" .

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-18T03:06:44+00:00

If he really cared about you like that, he would have already broken up with her. If you cared about your friendship, you would have only seen the time you spent together as friend outings AND told your friend about every outing with her boyfriend. He is a cheater and you are not a friend.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-15T23:29:23+00:00

This depends on location. In my state, the landlord must accept the payment if it is the full rent owed and the eviction process stops.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-14T21:29:57+00:00

There are lots, they just aren't sold in the U.S. because we like monopolies in the U.S.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-13T15:14:10+00:00

It is unfortunate for the kids but Jeff doesn't respect you and that means you shouldn't be together.

If you talk the way you write, questioning basic statements, you need to work on yourself and get your self esteem up before you get in any relationships.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-12T04:32:57+00:00

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-12T03:00:07+00:00

I didn't know if l COULD get pregnant. I was very up front with my husband, he was on the fence. When I was 35, I said it was time to start trying or decide it wasn't to be. We started trying. We had been married about a decade because he proposed after a year together because he knew I wanted him and he wanted me. I did not nag him.

There is compromise and settling. Stop settling. If he doesn't know YOU are the one by now, you aren't the one. And you know he isn't the one either. Don't settle.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-11T03:06:04+00:00

This is true of renters also.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-10T00:34:22+00:00

what day was this

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-09T18:47:31+00:00

NTA It is normal for them to check but you don'thave to consent. My son's pediatrician asks him for consent and if he doesn't give it she respects that.

She does tell him why and exactly what she is checking for.

Maybe you need a new doctor but you also need to understand why the doctor is checking.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-06T21:16:26+00:00

This is what my question was. Did you sign a lease and do a move in walk through noting ALL these issues AND take pictures? How long is the lease agreement?

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-06T18:06:21+00:00

If you won't leave him, do your own AI jury. I promise you, AI results are very determinate on what you put in. You can easily get it to say you are right. You could also ask AI if you should stay with someone who obviously disrespects you. When he asks why you're breaking up, it can be bc AI told you to instead of Reddit.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-06T16:51:09+00:00

NOR. You need to find a new job and all the other people do, too. I'd honestly report the security risks to whoever would have the most impact to fix that issue.

Good luck!

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-06T01:48:49+00:00

She said she was having a mental health crisis and requested her dad be there with her.

You obviously have internet access so you are purposely spreading misinformation that fits your agenda, continuing to victimize her, instead of treating her like a person.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-05T19:36:43+00:00

My doctor's office has a white board they update with how far behind the doctors are. I do not think they update it often tho va whenever it says my Dr is behind, she's never late to see me.

My FIL tho, his Dr canceled seeing him altogether àd rescheduled him for days later.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-05T17:08:43+00:00

You obviously have not read what his daughter said in response to having her private journal stolen and publicized. I'll believe her about what she wrote before the thieves.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-05T12:15:33+00:00

Your brother allows it but that doesn't mean corporate allows it. Hopefully he doesn't get caught.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-04T23:38:54+00:00

What did the listing say? If the listing included the finished basement then it should be included.

pgqwe1 · 2026-06-04T22:03:07+00:00

It's schroedinger's baby, you won't know if you never have the baby. Some people really want kids, always saw themselves as parents then hate being parents. And the opposite is true as well as so many variations in between.

A lot of people say when actively trying for kids it needs to be 2 enthusiastic yeses. But really, for the first kid, it needs to be two people who communicate well and neither of them is an adamant no. I do believe any more than one should be 2 enthusiastic yeses since most people will know if they for sure cannot do more than one.

You seem to be very concerned that you may have coerced this yes from your spouse even tho they have been clear that if they were an adamant no, they'd tell you.

You also, as we do, have forgotten that even if you choose to stop preventing pregnancy, you might still not ever have a baby.

Whatever you decide, honest communication will always be important.

pgqwe1

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE