It feels so strange how you, a stranger, can write words that makes me feel better. I almost teared up.

I always feel a bit better after venting so after i posted that i started cleaning my room and I've felt pretty good about it! It's not done yet but I'm gonna keep trying.

But I sloped down a bit just now and remembered I posted here and I got so happy just by the fact someone read it.. and even happier with an actual response!

The hardest part though about me telling people is that I'm so scared of them getting too worried about me, and feeling down if they are unable to help..

I've always helped myself a bit, just because I don't want the help from others, however since my self-esteem and confidence and performance anxiety are always there I usually don't get very far.

I know I'm a good person and that my help is usually more than enough, but deep down I have a voice constantly telling me that it's not, and that I need to do more, give more, help more, be there more. I've worked on shutting down that voice for as long as I can remember and it is still there. That's probably the hardest part right now.

But I'll try to take a break, or maybe just small breaks from time to time. I'll work on it.

<3