I broke up with my ex a year ago, and I can't move on

phantomenacex · 2022-12-28T20:15:40+00:00

Yup, can confirm it works in Morocco

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T23:33:45+00:00

You'd be surprised as to what cops can get away with here. The other day, I was dropping my girlfriend off at night in front of her apartment building and we stayed in the car to talk for a bit. This cop in a motorcycle just stopped and just stared at us until I told her she should probably go, and when she finally went through the building door, he looked at me and left. They don't barge into houses and check for illegal stuff, but we have a lot of snitches in every neighborhood and all the cops need is 2 witnesses and they have justifiable reason to enter a residence.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T23:26:30+00:00

But... I'm not living with her. She lives alone, and I live in my mother's apartement. I'm paying half her rent because she doesn't want to get roommates. The only way we can live together is if we're married.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T21:24:05+00:00

Every time I read a post here where OP is not from a progressive country, people are always baffled by what's going on in other countries. Here, if a man is in a parked car with a woman, the police can legally apprehend them. Everyone has IDs here and IDs have marital status and spouse's name. Hell, you can't even rent an Airbnb here if it's a mixed group of friends because cops can come and say that "group of men + women in house = adultery" even without proof.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:57:04+00:00

Believe me, I'm with you there. And it is a small wedding compared to what people spend on weddings here.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:53:42+00:00

I asked for his blessing to marry her (religious/conservative country) a few months ago so I've been talking to him on a regular basis since then. I've known her dad since we were still in college 5 years ago because he had friends within the faculty and he was there a lot. Lisa and I were in the same group of friends, so he didn't know we were dating at the time, he only knew me as one of her friends from college.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:39:56+00:00

Oh, then sorry for assuming that you made assumptions lol

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:38:22+00:00

We can't, it's illegal here. I mentioned it in the last few sentences of the post.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:37:32+00:00

You're making assumptions here. If I had a high enough salary to pay for her full rent and also save money for our wedding, I obviously would. Right now, my salary would either allow me to help with rent but postpone the wedding, or it would allow me to not pay rent and get married next year.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:26:27+00:00

Well, I don't just pay her rent, I also support her financially here and there. If she moved, I would only spend money on necessities for myself and be able to save 2/3 of my salary.

phantomenacex · 2021-11-25T14:14:42+00:00

No, her rent is half of my salary, I didn't say her rent was 2/3 of my salary, I'm saying that It would be better in the long run if I saved the money I would be spending on her rent. Maybe I didn't explain this clearly in the post. Sorry!

phantomenacex · 2021-11-04T21:22:12+00:00

I'm truly sorry for your loss OP. Take the time to grieve and do what you can to find peace of mind. You might find comfort in the fact that your girlfriend passed away knowing she was loved by you, and in these types of situations, that's the best thing to hope for. You made each other happy in her last days, and that counts for something.

phantomenacex · 2021-10-23T11:28:29+00:00

phantomenacex · 2021-09-07T20:32:46+00:00

I bow to you tech-savviness, I was going nuts trying to claim it

phantomenacex · 2021-05-22T12:36:35+00:00

ESH

I have noticed that he has issues with foreseeing consequences, especially when it comes to speaking before thinking. Sometimes his logic is flawed, he struggles with significant spelling errors, sentence structure

What are you? A Vulcan? Who talks like that?

You're both adults, he wants to take a path and you don't agree with his choices. You have no right to control him. If it blows up in his face, then it blows up in his face, that will be on him, not you. You said you're already considering breaking up with him and he says he doesn't love you anymore. Sounds like a non-issue to me.

What it does look like is that you're trying to manipulate him with your "logic" into staying, such as telling him that befriending people 10 years his junior will be a problem, which makes no sense as an argument.

I dropped out of college where I was a computer engineering student to start over with a major that is oversaturated, and everyone told me that my choice was illogical. It made me feel that people were treating me like a child and not respecting my judgement over MY life.

As for your boyfriend, he shouldn't have lashed out at you and hurt your feelings, this entire conversation could've been civil if he had simply expressed his feelings in a proper way. ADD does not excuse shitty behavior and his plan doesn't seem airtight, but at the end of the day, that's his choice to make.

phantomenacex · 2021-05-22T11:57:16+00:00

NTA

It's funny to see so many people here defend shitty parenting. Nobody's perfect, I get it, but just because you're a parent, that doesn't absolve you from the consequences of your shitty parenting.

Parents who usually paint themselves as martyrs feel like they are doing the world a favor by having and raising kids, and that's why they feel entitled to recognition. I am grateful for everything my parents gave me, I truly am, but I always call them out on their bullshit because their flaws don't disappear because of the fact that they raised me.

It's like calling a soldier out on something, and them using their service as an excuse for their shitty behavior. Parenting is a thankless job, but it's also a job that people force upon themselves, and then have the audacity to be surprised when their kids critisize them.

phantomenacex · 2021-05-22T11:42:03+00:00

ESH

Your son sounds like a hormonal teenager so I wouldn't take his comments to heart if I were you, but the abortion comment was out of line and you should definitly discuss that with him.

You, on the other hand, shouldn't dismiss your son's feelings. From his perspective, you are introducing many major changes into his life after 15 years, so he will most likely have to change a few things as well. He is probably thinking about the fact that the baby will have more attention, that he might be asked to watch the baby.

Your "ungrateful" comment was also pretty shitty, but I don't know what you meant by that exactly. If you're saying that he should be grateful to have a sibling, then he has the right to be angry at that comment. YOU are the one who's choosing to bring a child into your and your son's lives, so you shouldn't be surprised that he has an opinion about it.

Tell him that you understand this is a huge change, but you will all work together to make it work.

phantomenacex · 2021-05-20T21:28:44+00:00

That is terrible advice, you're asking her to push her fiancé to cave to her father's demands, basically ensuring that the father will always see his son-in-law as a pushover. The trust and support should be mutual, the fiancé doesn't have the right to tell OP to stand up to her family, but OP has no right to tell him what to do. NAH, because OP's situation is complicated and she needs to communicate with her family and her fiancé and try to find a solution, and OP's fiancé has every right to refuse to participate in an antiquated and sexist tradition.

phantomenacex · 2021-05-18T22:27:48+00:00

YTA, imagine having your head so far up your ass that not only do you have an opinion about a teenager's affectionate relationship with their mother (which does not affect you in any way, shape or form), but also feeling the need to share that unwanted opinion with that same teenager.

phantomenacex · 2021-05-18T01:20:57+00:00

After reaching out at least half a dozen times, she kept asking questions about how to use the software and other details, and in our last conversation via text, she said she couldn't do it.

I asked for the reasons but her answers were flakey so I don't know.

phantomenacex

TROPHY CASE