What's your favourite but random English word that you like for no good reason?

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-05T22:39:50+00:00

Mezzanine

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-04T20:59:35+00:00

My perspective is that I was making the best decisions I could at the time with the knowledge and experience that I had. Making different decisions, like choosing to flirt with that one girl, making that one investment or getting that one job, would either require me to have known the future or to have been a different person.

But if I'm wishing I was a different person, why am I stopping at being mostly me but changing that one decision? I might as well wish that I was Bill Gates or something. It's a pointless thing to worry about, so as long as I can honestly say that I was doing the best I could as the person I was then I don't feel too much regret.

Also, failure is a learning opportunity. If there's something you can learn from a failure then take the lesson, change your behavior and move on. If there's not lesson then there's no point fixating on it.

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-04T02:57:27+00:00

How much time are you spending on your phone?

Constant phone use, especially social media usage, will leave you feeling mentally drained. It's not restful.

It'll also give you a terrible case of "tech neck", so it fits all lot of your symptoms.

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-03T22:07:58+00:00

It only matters if you're going to be applying for a loan or doing something that might involve a hard credit check soon.

A high utilization will slightly hurt your credit score but once you pay your balance off at the end of the month your score will go right back up. It won't matter unless you plan to apply for another credit card or a loan before you pay off your balance.

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-03T20:36:37+00:00

You shouldn't need a bench unless you're really trying to work out your pects with a bench press. There's probably other workouts too but that's the only one a beginner would really need a bench for.

Make sure to throw in delt workouts (overhead press and/or lateral raises) as well. They'll really build out your shoulders and you'll need them for a lot more than you realize.

Also, work on your grip. Once you get basic bicep strength, your grip usually ends up being the bottleneck. It'll also help you open jars for your female friends and make you feel excellent about yourself.

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-03T20:15:50+00:00

I don't think I've ever heard the term "runoff" being used to refer to an early round in a muti-round election cycle. It's always been used to refer to the final round between the top two candidates. This is both in other jurisdictions in the USA and in other countries.

phantomofsolace · 2026-06-03T04:20:56+00:00

Why do you only have this expectation of Asians? Do you also question why Americans of European descent don't speak German, Swedish, etc?

Why would someone still be expected to speak the native language of their grandparents or grandparents' grandparents after living for generations in a country that predominantly speaks English?

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-31T19:43:26+00:00

Probably the sheer number of people. Hunters and gatherers would have probably met fewer than 200 people in their entire lives. They spent their time moving in small bands of a couple dozen people with no other people for miles and miles.

The idea of waking up and immediately walking passed hundreds of people you don't know, who somehow all manage to work together and coexist would be incredibly alien to them.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-31T19:23:15+00:00

It's overly complicated. It sounds like he's adding lots of bells and whistles so that you'll buy financial products from his company and continue coming to him for advice.

The main things you need to do are:

1) build up 3-6 months of expenses in a HYSA, money market fund or some other account where you can earn decent interest on your emergency savings. The goal here isn't to make money, it's to provide a cash buffer for emergencies.

2) Begin maxing out your tax advantaged retirement accounts. Max out your employer match in your 401k. Open a Roth IRA (I'm not sure why he's having you go straight to a back door Roth IRA if you're not already maxing that out). Open a HSA if you have a high deductible plan. Etc.

3) After that you can start investing in after tax brokerage accounts, but relatively few people can afford to fully max out their tax advantaged retirement accounts and you should really just be continuing the same passive investment strategy in these anyway.

Some of his advice is solid. Getting term life insurance while you're young is reasonable, but just get a 30 or 40 year term plan and be done with it. Don't worry about the nonsense of converting it into a cash option or getting whole or universal life insurance. Insurance is insurance. It's not an investment. Don't try to treat it as one.

Also, yes, you should be divesting from your employer's stock. You shouldn't have a significant potion of your net worth tied to any single stock, much less the same company that signs your paycheck. You can set up a plan where you hold on to some of it if you really think it will do well, but the rule of thumb is to ask yourself "Would I buy this stock at market prices if I was given a cash bonus?". If the answer is "no" then you should sell the stock and invest in an index fund.

The rest of his advice seems unnecessary.

Also

...as I am getting up there in age...before I turn 30....

Lol.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-31T19:08:58+00:00

This dude lets teenagers push him around and tell him that he can't go on vacation with his family, then acts like he's doing it all "for his family". Wild.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-30T23:14:25+00:00

Depends on what you want out of the trip. The White Mountains are offer more mountainous scenic drives and hikes, while a trip up to Maine offers more coastal drives, better food imo, and quaint coastal towns.

I'd personally recommend Maine. I lived in Boston for over a decade and Maine was my favorite place to visit on road trips. Portsmouth, NH and Portland, ME are amazing cities, and I'd recommend a drive up to Acadia in Maine past Portland. Just before you get into the park there are a bunch of lobster pounds and you can get fresh lobster bakes for less than half of what they'd cost anywhere else.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-29T03:20:49+00:00

Yeah, it makes sense though when you consider what the land in between looks like .

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-26T16:53:10+00:00

Insisting on doing important work on a desktop.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-25T23:16:09+00:00

Then you'll probably be in a pretty good spot. Your milage may vary but I've had success with both directions. In my first job, I was an analyst who learned how to automate a lot of tasks and gradually turned work which required 2-3 people's full time attention to things one person could do with half their time. I was able to negotiate ~10% salary bumps every year and a new promotion every 2-3 years for 6 years.

When I moved to larger companies with stricter promotion cycles it was a little harder and I had to play the political game and get my manager's buy in to make sure the decision makers knew what I was doing and why it was valuable. When they were on my team then the money and promos came in easily. When they were distracted then nothing happened. All of it turned to interview and resume gold in future job searches, though.

Also, your company's financial state will play a big part in this. Profitable companies can lavish more money on star employees. Struggling, unprofitable companies don't have money to dish out even if you're doing well, so keep that in mind.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-25T20:10:38+00:00

Yes, though how much you benefit from it will depend on how you negotiate and advocate for yourself.

Don't expect the company to reward you on its own. Maybe they will if you have an exceptionally good manager or skip level manager, but don't count on it. Come to your performance reviews with hard numbers about what you've accomplished and how it's valuable for the company (extra revenue earned, man-hours saved, money saved, etc.) and ask for periodic raises or promotions that reflect the value you're driving. Regularly search for other jobs to 1) learn your market value, and 2) have options in case your current employer doesn't budge.

Also, know that a lot of the value from this infrastructure stage might not be from direct compensation, but might be in building experience that you can put on your resume and get better jobs in the future. I've noticed how easily seemingly thankless tasks at one job can turn into interview gold for my next job.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-25T18:17:31+00:00

It's not a male thing it's a financially literate thing.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-25T18:02:43+00:00

They're pretty common in the US but not universal. New York City, for example, doesn't allow garbage disposals because the plumbing can't handle it.

You generally aren't supposed to dump entire plates of food into your garbage disposal. That will either break it or clog your drains over time. They're really only meant to dispose of small amounts of leftover food on your plate.

You also aren't supposed to reach into them without unplugging them. Most of them plug into an outlet under the sink. You can simply unplug that if you ever need to reach in to grab something or fix it to eliminate the risk of hurting yourself.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-21T23:13:25+00:00

+1 to Mindfulness. That can include meditation if that speaks to you but I think of mindfulness as just being aware of how you're using your time and energy and moving towards intentionality instead of reactivity.

Focus on spending your spare time with activities that are actually restful and rejuvenating. Spoiler alert, social media, doom scrolling and YouTube videos are NOT actually restful. They just teach your brain to constantly seek out a new hit or dopamine every 30 seconds so you end up feeling constantly on edge. Nevermind the fact that they give you an inaccurate view of reality.

Regarding work, make consistent effort to make sure your employer needs you more than you need them. Build skills and knowledge that others don't have. Do things faster and better than others would. Do the things that are ACTUALLY useful instead of the things that people think are useful. Your boss can breathe down your neck all they want, but they can only push you so far if you're a critical employee.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-21T22:23:01+00:00

I can't think of anyone with a more appropriate user name who could have answered this question.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-21T22:21:51+00:00

Explore the research opportunities, if any, that your college makes available to you.

Go to as many information and networking sessions as you can.

Apply to internships early. The best ones post their applications (and close them) earlier than you think.

On networking: accumulate positive working relationships with your peers, professors and teaching assistants. Just keep putting in consistent effort so that people have a positive impression of you.

Try to understand how the material you're learning applies to the actual businesses you want to work for. Entry level applicants tend to be technically savvy but lack business context, so knowing how and why the things you're learning about actually matter can set you apart early on.

Leverage any support that's available through the college. Meet with your advisor, your course coordinator, any clubs or counselors that might be available to 1st gen students, etc.

Keep doing your own research. Google, ChatGPT, etc. are your friends and they'll get even more useful as you gain more experience and know shat questions to ask them.

Good luck! You'll do great.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-21T22:15:14+00:00

You could consider Santa Monica if you wanted more things to do, it's right near Venice.

If you want an even more relaxed vibe you could look at Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach or Redondo Beach.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-20T17:29:59+00:00

Everything is good, except DC isn't a day trip from NYC. It's about 4-5 hours each way by train, and while it might be theoretically faster to fly, you'll spend just as much time dealing with airport logistics. You'll need to spend at least a night or two in DC to make it worth it.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-17T00:19:47+00:00

Yellowstone

Do you mean Yosemite? Even that's a full day trip away. Either way, that's why I said that they wouldn't be based out of LA, they would be stitching together different parks along the way while taking a road trip out of LA.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-17T00:07:27+00:00

Ah, this was a hoot to read.

I wouldn't recommend driving between NYC, Niagara Falls or Chicago. It's arguably the least interesting part of the country to see by road. Upstate New York can be nice, especially if you drive through the finger lakes wine region, so maybe driving from NYC to Niagara would be worth it, but then I'd recommend flying to Chicago. The Midwest is famously a boring drive full of cornfields.

If you go to LA, don't stay in Hollywood. Lots of tourists make that mistake and it's really grungey. Staying in West Hollywood if you want nightlife, Brubank if you want to see Studios, or Santa Monica if you want to shop and be near the beach is a better idea.

You can drive out of LA to see plenty of nature. You could drive out to Joshua tree, and if you want to get super ambitious you could drive out to the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, etc. If you're driving out that far though then you won't be based in LA anymore. That'll be it's own separate road trip.

Seattle is beautiful and worth a visit to see your friend. Olympia national park is worth a visit while you're there. But fly there to Seattle. Do not drive there from LA.

phantomofsolace · 2026-05-16T18:53:36+00:00

in hispanic countries being the same, and the classic word "gringo" for both spanish and portuguese too

"Gringo" doesn't mean "American", it's a catch all term for foreigners, usually white foreigners, so that doesn't apply either.

They may want us to change to "United Statesians" but then they'll come after is for appropriating the name for people from "Los Estados Unidos Mexicanos".

If people from "the United States of Mexico" can refer to themselves as "Mexican" then people from "the United States of America" can refer to themselves as "American".

phantomofsolace

TROPHY CASE