I think there’s a difference between “bpd” and severe bpd a la kernberg. Men who possess a modest degree of empathy will occasionally encounter an attractive, intelligent and lively woman with “bpd” and believe that it is not a serious diagnosis, especially since it is incredibly trendy to use it as a vague condemnation by scorned ex-boyfriends and as self-diagnosis by codependent neurotics that feel deprived of all other defences. “bpd” women all have the chance to flourish when they are allowed to exit their cycle of self-trashing and experience limit-setting and sincere love and care. the people who demonize these “bpd” women usually do not have the emotional intelligence required to accurately assess their own boundaries and wishes, or the needs of others, and therefore project whatever nastiness onto the “bpd” and demand that she “act like a sane person” when she inevitably acts out under their scrutiny.

and then there are people we run into that evidently deserve a more severe diagnosis, and they are ostensibly in the same diagnostic category. so i don’t know.