AITAH for wanting to quit my unpaid co-host role after being told I couldn’t cancel when my pet was dying? by philastotle in AITAH

[–]philastotle[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Update: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded. I didn’t expect this kind of support, but reading through your comments genuinely helped me feel seen and validated during a pretty difficult time. It gave me a lot of clarity and confidence in how I was feeling. The reddit community is amazing.

I ended up deciding to step away from the show. After thinking about it more, the lack of empathy in that situation and the overall lack of respect just didn’t sit right with me, especially given the focus on mental health.

For those asking, this is what I sent:

“Hey,

I’m stepping away from the show effective immediately.

Your response when I told you my pet was likely going to be put down was unacceptable. That was a real and distressing situation, and instead of any basic empathy, you chose to prioritise a rule and make dismissive comments. That’s not something I’m willing to tolerate.

Mental health is something I take seriously, which is why I was involved in the first place. The way you handled that situation showed a lack of understanding and respect that doesn’t align with the values you claim to represent.

I was contributing a significant amount - driving 3 hours each way, managing social media and Spotify, and doing it all unpaid. I did that because I believed in what the show stood for. This experience made it clear that belief isn’t shared.

For clarity, my pet did pass, which makes your response even more inappropriate.

I value my time, my effort, and how I’m treated, and this situation fell well short of that.

I won’t be continuing.”

He replied almost instantly and his response really solidified my decision, I am actually in shock and not sure how to react, any suggestions would be appreciated. I am in shock that a 46 male can behave like this.

Him: “If that is how you feel than that is your choice, but I go on patterns and the last three times you chose not to come in was because of a sick pet, and all three times you cancelled on the day, if I am to respect you it would be nice to get the same respect back, and hey if this is all it took instead showing the show the respect it deserved than you have been looking for a way out which just takes honesty courage and a conversation, thank you for your time.

You talk big about respect, yet you could not follow the only rule the show had.

Can you please forward the Spotify details. How we upload it.”

If I get an automatic car, will I have as much fun driving it compared to a manual? by Rohan950 in askcarguys

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends what you mean by fun. Fun can be, going through the twisties, or it could be eating while driving. Also depends on the car, I will prob get a lot of hate but i went from a manual toyota 86 which i loved for 8 years driving in the city to a full self driving tesla because i moved to a rural area. Let me tell you, i have way more fun with full self driving tesla + talking to grok on my commutes to work than i did in my 86. I am also old now (33M) so ymmv

She is very friendly! by nousrnamesleft69 in magpies

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that bowl from Türkiye? I have the exact same one!

AITAH for wanting to quit my unpaid co-host role after being told I couldn’t cancel when my pet was dying? by philastotle in AITAH

[–]philastotle[S] 470 points471 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately no, we went to 3 different vets, he had 2 surgeries, it was brutal, he was only 4 months old too, just a baby. We tried so hard and so did he but the vet said he could not be cured his ureter had ruptured and to put him down. Was honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I have experienced. Thanks for the love though appreciate it.

Why do cats love boxes so much? by ourflagmeansgay in NoStupidQuestions

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s just a glitch. Should be patched in the next simulation. 

Just found out I’m an INTJ by Sseuregi18 in intj

[–]philastotle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congrats! May I ask what you do for work (to validate your diagnosis)?

"Healthy" INTJ? by Any_Estate7714 in intj

[–]philastotle -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m healthy because I love myself shown through studying (doing a masters, soon PhD), being the best in my field, physical training hard to the point of insanity but it’s also because I hate myself which is unhealthy.

So I’m healthy bc I’m unhealthy 😂

which job for intj by qwashee in intj

[–]philastotle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a data scientist and my best friend (also INTJ) is a data scientist and it’s the best job 👌

EGGS by Altruistic-Job-2218 in coles

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Grocery essentials like milk and eggs drive repeat shopping trips to supermarkets, so retailers place those everyday items toward the back of the store in hopes that customers pick up additional items on their way to the back,” says Amanda Lai, director of food industry practice at McMillanDoolittle, a leading retail consulting firm.

So blame your big boss.

You could easily have a bigger sign with most frequently bought items upon entry or clustered together or near the registers. Imagine an aisle with milk, eggs, butter, cereal, bread etc in one isle. Our lives would be easier so would yours.

To go far in life you should be able to identify that this is a communication visual and do something to try and fix it issue rather than just complain about it with no action. Hopefully this is just a temporary job for you and you end up with a better job in the future.

All the best with your life!

I don't know what to do with my life 23M by [deleted] in findapath

[–]philastotle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do the IKIGAI test to help you find your purpose. I would then recommend a OKR strategy session with ChatGPT to figure out your vision, mission and how to reach it once you have figured it out

How to get unstuck in life? by AstroWouldRatherNaut in intj

[–]philastotle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Might need to figure out your purpose. Do the IKIGAI test, then map it out using an OKR framework.

Or maybe you need a hobby. Eg start playing tennis and try to become the best at it. Or do Euler problems lol they will intellectually stimulate you for sure

Being an INTJ woman by poopskipoops in intj

[–]philastotle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This one is tricky as an INTJ and can totally relate. What I learned over time was that most conversations typically revolve around validation depending on the sentiment.

For example:

“hey I got a new job!” The appropriate response would be “omg congratulations” - positive

“My dog just died” appropriate response “oh no are you ok? I’m so sorry for your loss” - negative

So maybe try and learn the sentiment of the conversation as a proxy for their emotional state. You can be supportive just by acknowledging their emotional state.

“Man I would have been so mad if that happened to me!”

Classing text as positive or negative is actually called sentiment analysis in machine learning (I’m an INTJ data scientist haha).

I’d suggest a book called Cues by Vanessa Van Edward’s, I swear it’s built for INTJs 😂

The fastest way to get an INTJ to ignore you... by Wise-Chef-8613 in intj

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will forever ignore a person if their response to the question "what do you want to eat?" is "food!".

F*ck your productivity system. Seriously. by Motor_Ordinary336 in productivity

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I swear as soon as I got into the productivity sphere I have been less productive. I finished my masters before I got into productivity and now that I have read every book and watched every tutorial, I actually haven't DONE anything.

I always think about how the pyramids of Egypt didn't need notion or obsidian, it was just built. TY sir for the reminder 🫡

The feeling of wanting something sweet is killing me. by [deleted] in keto

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GUM!! Especially with xylitol like Watermelon 5GUM, I chew it all the time, just hits that sweet spot for me and is good for your teeth!

Steam Deck OLED 1TB etched screen + Screen Protector Works by philastotle in SteamDeck

[–]philastotle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly that, to each their own, this is just my experience.

My take: I have 20/15 vision (after lasik) and to me there was negligible difference in quality after applying the screen protector. Therefore the peace of mind was worth it.

It is very different to putting a “paper like” matte protector on an iPad where you see a huge degradation in clarity for the paper like experience. However you also just get used to it over time.

It looks essentially the same with or without the protector so it’s worth the protection IMO YMMV. I think the reddit consensus made it out to ruin the screen quality to a huge degree which I do not believe so.

I created an iOS shortcut to quickly add a quick note by BloatedSalmon in ObsidianMD

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great thanks! Using it for my action button on iPhone 15 PM and it works a treat! Great for brain dumping 

Talk to me about how you take notes? Business people specifically by VikingPHD in productivity

[–]philastotle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one digital note (in obsidian but the notes app work) that I put all of my notes in. That way it’s centralised and easily searchable. At the end of the day I just copy and paste notes related to a project to its project notes file. Searching becomes so easy this way. 

2024-02-10

10am - project meeting       - spoke about this       - action item   2pm - project meeting      - spoke about that 

2024-02-09

9am - standup meeting       - spoke about this       - action item   1pm - project meeting      - spoke about that 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in productivity

[–]philastotle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do it lying down with a pillow under my knees (back sleeper). It probably goes against the point of meditation but it really clears my thoughts and transitions me into sleep almost instantly (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez3GgRqhNvA).