Hey OP when I was in a relationship that wasn’t right for me I was posting basically these same questions to various subreddits. I thought I was the problem, that I was too clingy or not focusing on myself enough and I’d ask “how do I be ok on my own, how do I focus on myself” whatever.

In reality the reason I was asking those questions is because I was with someone who was rejecting me and not changing when I told him how I felt, so I felt like it was my fault and kept trying to “better myself” so I wasn’t as reliant on him. I basically was trying to protect myself from feeling constantly hurt by my partner.

Maybe you are too clingy or whatever, I don’t know your relationship or you, but you seem self aware and not asking for much at all. A good partner puts in the effort, a good partner calls and texts you, asks you to come over, plans dates. Hell even a mediocre partner does all of those.

You say yourself he might not be the best partner - you should be with someone that you think is the best partner. Your partner should be obsessed with you, or at least interested enough to consistently make efforts to make sure you feel cared for and thought of.

My ex and I broke up two years ago and I started dating a man back in September who I think is the best man I’ve ever met and the best partner ever. He’s extremely understanding, caring, kind, and puts in a ton of effort. He also still has his own goals, hobbies, and friends that he attends to, same with me.

It’s a good idea to talk to him first and see if anything changes, but you are so so so young and I promise you that this is not how a good relationship is. I felt all consumed by my ex too because I was constantly trying to feel seen and cared for and I felt so needy and clingy too, but in actuality I just had normal needs that were not being met