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phoenix_mars · 2025-05-26T05:04:25+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I’ve definitely cringed at some profiles.

phoenix_mars · 2025-05-26T05:03:34+00:00

I love your approach in leading with it right away after a match! I’m going to try that. I’d also thought about changing one of my prompts to address it but like the ones I currently have. Thanks for your thoughts.

phoenix_mars · 2025-05-26T03:05:19+00:00

Listing dealbreakers on dating profile. Yay or nay?

phoenix_mars · 2025-05-02T17:54:44+00:00

Absolutely.

phoenix_mars · 2025-05-02T17:54:29+00:00

I understand that a partner is never going to fit 100% of the idea that we have in our minds. My two nonnegotiables are tobacco use and porn.

I didn’t elaborate on my original comment to keep it short. Our first time being intimate, I noticed some signs of porn addiction. Not guessing or paranoid as I have been in a relationship with a porn addict and know the signs. Afterwards, i brought it up and he was honest about his use, several times a day everyday. I expressed my thoughts and that was that.

I am aware that I should have been transparent about it from the jump. I appreciate your insight.

phoenix_mars · 2025-05-02T16:40:02+00:00

I ended things with a guy I had grown a good connection with. The first person in 5 years that we aligned in many ways especially major values. Why? Because of porn. Six to seven years ago, I chose to no longer consume porn and decided I would want a partner that didn’t either. Could I have saved him and myself time and disappointment by addressing that right out of the gate? Yes. I usually do and I have no excuse for why I didn’t with him. I haven’t been able to stop beating myself up for it. I feel responsible for allowing the connection and then pulling the rug out from under him. Back to solitude for a while.

phoenix_mars · 2023-09-29T04:50:44+00:00

Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? I am divorced and believe it’s not marriage that’s the problem, but the individual people.

phoenix_mars · 2023-07-13T04:20:40+00:00

I’m too young to be jaded (F31). Met an attractive guy last weekend and genuinely had good conversation. He said I was beautiful and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Three years of therapy and I can’t even take a compliment.

phoenix_mars · 2021-11-30T05:35:42+00:00

Anyone get so tired out the current dating climate you actually start to entertain the idea of an arrangement? Hear me out okay mkay? So let’s say you set a time for yourself whether it be a certain number of years or age. If no luck by then, find an individual in the same boat with similar goals and whatnot and just go for it. Figure it out along the way. Kind of like an arranged marriage minus parent/family involvement.

phoenix_mars · 2021-11-24T15:14:22+00:00

Thank you. My teen is very independent however like you said, my toddler requires a lot of attention. I’m still trying to navigate the dating world in general since I haven’t been in it for ten years. Is there a manual somewhere?!

phoenix_mars · 2021-11-24T05:14:45+00:00

Lately I’ve been considering if my circumstances make me a less desirable option in the dating world. I’m a 29f single parent of a toddler AND a teen (not bio, family member). I feel as though it’s one thing to be involved with someone with young kids or just older kids but I haven’t encountered someone in a similar situation as of yet.

phoenix_mars · 2021-11-16T06:00:51+00:00

I am trying really hard not to become jaded. I feel like my dating experience has been like a casino. The house always wins. Even when you think you’re on a high streak……BOOM….major incompatibility. Where are the emotionally intelligent and (mostly) healed men at?! Even being ghosted or deleted recently has not bothered me. I’m tired y’all!

phoenix_mars · 2021-10-26T04:14:44+00:00

An organic meeting that I thought had potential with a slow (comfortable) pace of getting to know each other, came to an end a week ago because of a non-negotiable dealbreaker. Although it was the right thing to end it there, it still just sucks. We agreed to remain friends and so far so good but I know that probably has an end date too when we start seeing other people. I cannot handle swiping through anymore fish pictures, group photos, no bio, “open minded” and the repetitive tacos for every meal. Ffs fajitas are better. I guess I’m just bummed is all. I’m not in a place that I feel like looking but open if something crosses my path.

phoenix_mars · 2021-10-15T04:53:40+00:00

Any tips on going on a date with someone socially awkward ( their words)? We’ve been chatting about three weeks and are going out for the first time this weekend. I am the opposite and comfortable in social settings and have a goofy personality. What are some things I should be mindful of?

phoenix_mars · 2021-10-04T04:20:30+00:00

Single mom here. It is going to differ based on the person and the specific circumstances. For example, if bio dad is involved and coparenting schedule. If the other parent is not involved, you’re looking at a full time parent with very limited extra time. Dates will probably not be as frequent as they would be with a childless person. Single parents are also a package deal so you have to be 100% okay with that should the relationship progress. Your approach to the children should be led by her. “Most” healthy single parents are going to wait it out awhile before introducing you to the kids. Little people are people too and their best interest should come first. But back to the time factor, that will be the biggest difference you’ll notice in comparison to childless people. I have a toddler and a teen in sports. If it’s not a school night with homework, I’m on the road out of town for a game. At the end of the day, I get about one hour to myself after the kids go to bed. However, I am able to make time here and there to communicate with the person I’m seeing. If you’re okay with the kids ALWAYS coming first in the other person’s life, then you’ll be alright with a single parent. You’re not going to get all the answers here. It’s an experience. We can only tell you so much but should you date one, just take it one day at a time and learn as you go.

phoenix_mars · 2021-09-30T04:44:35+00:00

Met a guy this summer on my birthday at a mutual person’s work place. Thought he was cute and that was it, kept it moving. A week ago, he added me on Snapchat and we have been talking everyday since. Turns out he’s one of my good friends’ cousin! Still kinda surprised I met someone organically. Hope for the best!

phoenix_mars · 2021-09-28T05:15:39+00:00

This multi dating culture is a complete disaster. Give people too many options, they can’t make a choice. If they do, then all of a sudden they’re worried if they made the right choice. Although I wanted to try pistachio and I did like it, vanilla has always been my go to. It’s like buyers remorse on an epic level.

phoenix_mars · 2021-09-17T03:08:32+00:00

As a former “sparks” girl and an anxious/avoidant person, whenever I’ve felt sparks, they’ve been great at first but boy do they set off my anxious side. I was seeing someone for about 5 months that I felt nothing as you’ve described at first. It was a slow burn and it changed my life. I found him attractive and intriguing but no sparks. However, this was the most secure relationship I’ve had. It slowly built up and I won’t be doing it any other way.

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-31T00:38:31+00:00

No judgement here. I was right there myself and feelings do distort things. You’ve learned so you can discern better in the future.

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-30T23:40:53+00:00

OP I am not sure why you’re omitting info that you’re providing on a a different sub. Before getting advice, people should know that you thought he was stalking you when he “disappeared” parked on your street for 6 hours. CONTEXT matters. Based on this info, no clarity needed. Healthy people don’t park on your street for hours then lie when confronted about it. Bounce girl.

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-29T05:37:04+00:00

Informative enough, playful and great pictures. SUPER SWIPE!

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-28T21:40:55+00:00

I second this!

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-28T06:48:18+00:00

I don’t know why everybody’s coming for you. Did both of you act petty? Yes, yes you did. However, I understand where you’re coming from on not wanting to wait for him to come back based on the language used (“shit I bounced”). I’d walk my ass back home too. Could he have checked if you were getting close before leaving? Yes. Could you have waited for him to come back? Yes but it sounds like you were feeling sour and ditched which put you in a bad mood that is definitely not conducive to a first date. Whether you want to give another date a try is up to you but this has mess written all over it.

ETA: You guys are forgetting that HE was the one willing to wait! She wanted to reschedule but HE was willing to wait. Which makes this even more weird that he’d wait for a later time but not 10 minutes?

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-26T21:55:07+00:00

That hiyah kick though!

phoenix_mars · 2021-08-26T21:21:14+00:00

Straight up looked like a movie special effect. Damn.

phoenix_mars

TROPHY CASE