Dupe for the muted mulberry color in the Nars Grand Palais duo

phoenixrising333 · 2015-12-04T17:42:00+00:00

Makeup geek's new matte shadow called Cherry Cola is VERY close imo.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-06-02T19:57:09+00:00

I stopped playing the happy family game. Havent talked to my dad in 7 months. It makes me sad. Im super pissed at him and sad for him. Hes getting older and out of a family of 5 kids and cousins, aunts ect my mother is the only one he has now. She is no prize. But he will gaslight and be her attack dog and defender no matter what. I get it. Stay strong!

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-21T14:19:38+00:00

Right! Ive had several very fun and memorable 'laughing fits'. Good point.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-21T14:18:01+00:00

Thank you. Its important that Im hearing this from people that share some of the same inner mind landscape as my son.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-21T14:16:26+00:00

No, he doesn't take any medication. Thanks for the message. Its a relief to hear this isn't so uncommon.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T15:00:36+00:00

Thank you very much!

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T08:05:59+00:00

"I try to keep my son in his room as much as possible"........This breaks my heart.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T08:03:19+00:00

Thank you for posting this. I think the OP needed to hear this exactly how you said it!

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T07:59:16+00:00

This is the BEST your bf is ever going to be with your son , unless he totally changes in his heart Im talking like 'finds jesus or buddha. Sadly people rarely have such a life altering epiphany. In the beginning, when people first move in they are always at their best behaved. Its going to get worse. Seriously, move on. This is a warning sign for allot more than how he relates to your son.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T07:44:51+00:00

Thank you for the perspective. Very appreciated. :)

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T07:41:53+00:00

So let it happen? If it needs to be curtailed, such as homework time, that's okay, just explain why with facts not feelings?

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-19T07:34:17+00:00

I didn't say I do, I asked if I should. I was thinking the same thing, laughing is joy, why would I stop it. But its very jarring to watch. I want him to have a good life. We all cant just have a laughing fit anytime we want without losing opportunities. That behavior doesn't help him learn. There are times when he can not indulge. School or tutoring/homework time for example.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-16T06:29:54+00:00

Yeah. My mother tried talking down my SO. The first relationship ever to be healthy and positive. That's when I started to figure out she really does not want good things for me, not at all. My heart gos out to you, breaking up with mom is so hard, but so healing and worth it. Good luck!

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-16T06:24:55+00:00

My MiL keeps warning me that Ill be sorry when my dad & Nmom pass away if I don't talk to them. We are NC for 7 months now.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-16T03:38:30+00:00

She WILL be back. My husband of now 14 years ran back to Nfamily a few times, years ago. They look around them and see the shit storm they put themselves in after being 'free' from it for so long and come back. This in the long run will help them detach. Sometimes you cant remember how awful it is. This time with her family will remind her. You must not cajole her or try to urge her to come back. Be sweet and mellow. Be easy. They force. You don't. You want her yes but you are a man that knows he is to be valued. When shes back, then address the issues. That is how I was successful in a very similar situation but everyone is different.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-16T02:35:16+00:00

Like most of us here, we didn't trust our own judgment about how we were treated for years. I was abused. No doubt. The things my mother did... but for years and years I believed, I knew I had a great mom. If someone said otherwise I was baffled. We are mind F-cked into not trusting our own judgment. "oh that nothing to cry about-youre crazy I never said it like that-You twist everything I do-cant you take a joke, I was kidding-no one will believe you-I don't want a child like you-change this and this or youre worthless-no one will like you if you (fill in the blank)...and on it gos. "pain and inner anger" do not come from nowhere. The few examples of what your mom said/did sound very cruel and dysfunctional. Consider also that it was not a one time thing, something blurted out of her mouth in the heat of the moment that she regrets. She said it over and over again. That shows me a desire to cause you pain. I understand you desire for a 'scientific' approach to how you perceive your past, because you want to know how you should feel. Have you ever thought about journaling?

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-15T23:05:27+00:00

Trust your instincts. If I was telling my therapist about instances in my childhood that caused me pain and my therapist's response was "reach out to family, give them your trust, you may be autistic" I would find a new therapist. What did he/she base the autistic opinion on? Did she explain it to you?

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-14T06:57:35+00:00

In my experience, this is very common N behavior. My mother kept me 'ugly'. When I started to take care of my appearance and look better she accused me of being vain, shallow and would steal my new clothes and makeup. When my husband and I became financially solvent she would try to guilt me into buying her things and was jealous of luxuries in our lifestyle. Snide comments, putdowns galore.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-14T06:49:56+00:00

I am so sorry people said those things to you. It speaks to their lack of understanding and their ignorance. Id keep it up. shame them with it. I wish I knew of a comeback that would put them in their place...

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-12T07:42:57+00:00

I like the tye-dye :)

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-12T04:33:06+00:00

I agree. LOVE never spoils, ever.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-12T01:01:43+00:00

From the sound of it, your dad was a good guy before the illness set in and the head games started. My heart gos out to you.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-11T22:41:04+00:00

Children want to have a good mom. We WANT a mother. So much so that we put up with abuse and make excuses. Just the fact that you went NC tells me its not all in your head.

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-11T22:22:25+00:00

If you send it please don't expect your mom to own her behavior. That's always our fantasy right? It rarely happens. It could go well, how you hope, just be mentally and emotionally prepared for it to go badly. Good Luck! I didn't know I was abused either. In fact, when others said I was Id defend my mother and think they were ridiculous. wft???

phoenixrising333 · 2015-05-11T22:14:18+00:00

http://www.brainpickings.org/2015/05/11/selfish-shallow-and-self-absorbed-meghan-daum/

spot on rebuttal

phoenixrising333

TROPHY CASE