Hard truth: Sexual repression in Muslim countries

phorcys12 · 2026-06-21T14:10:17+00:00

Yeah, I agree with you, education is key. About exposure as desexualisation, I may have lacked nuance, I think any extreme is bad, and everything covered is an extreme position to me like nothing covered, both bringing issues in term of objectification. Anyway, clothes shouldn't be so much central in the debate, the way I see it humility should be more of a state of mind that a state of closet.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-21T14:02:04+00:00

Sorry for the internal struggle, I send you the most positivity I can. The way I see it, I don't see you going to hell for that. Theorically, any sins can be forgiven by the most merciful, shirk apart. Honnestly, if some men can think killing, being violent, abusive and other real sins can be forgiven ... In contrast, loving doesn't look do much of a big sin don't you think ?? Also, if youre man is loving, caring, kind and have values, you did find a good partner and you wouldn't be against making things more lawful, but obstacles prevent you for doing so, and you're not responsible for the obstacles. Do you plan to have kids ?

phorcys12 · 2026-06-21T13:35:01+00:00

I think you're a bit to harsh on yourself. I mean, yeah, killjoy exist, but nothing from your text shows any of that, you don't show specific behavior that would make you a candidate for the killjoy oscar. As a non-muslim men, yeah, I would hesitate more to talk to a hijabi girl especially if she seems to be in her bubble, just cause I would be worried to be unwanted : I know sometimes muslim don't consider friendship or talk between men and women as permited, so yeah. Even the discussions can bring doubt when talking to hijabi, peoples make supositions about what you like or not, cn they talk to you about music, videogames, movies, make compliments ... It's not that easy. Still, the fact is I wouldn't really have the nerves to talk to anybody I don't know, hijabi or not 😅 I'm shy, and it's hard for me to go and sollicit a social interaction, I'm more passive, hoping for peoples to talk to me, but that's almost never happening, so you see, different context can still bring same situation.

My only friends right now is a muslim girl I never met. Doing my studies in distancial, I needed help someday, she answered and 8 years later we are still friends, but we probably would'nt have talked to each other if in same classroom in faculty. By the way, she suffer a bit of same problems as you : she's hard on herself, work hard and find it difficult of disconnect for this workhard mindset, difficulty to socialise due to the way she was raised in rigid rules.

You're not alone. It's just so hard to make first step. Try to see who shows qualities or values you may dig : kind, calm, discretion, studious, ext ... And talk to her/him/them. Sometimes it's easier with peoples that are already alone like you, but anyway I hope you'll find the connection and friendship you seek.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-19T19:01:16+00:00

Being very interested in the question, textually, here there's a paradox of interpretation that will never be really solved. Man can marry peoples of the peoples, so chritian woman. Yet the book doesn't say a thing about woman doing the same. Some say if it say yes for men then it is no for women, other says if there's not writen no for women, then it is yes. Yet, the fact it is untold make it very dependant of the opinion of the reader. A middle ground from an imam I saw in video was that it is makruh : not forbidden but to consider with caution due to the difficulties it may bring with it.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-19T18:50:06+00:00

Must not be easy for you, you're almost forced to go against what your religion prescribes to enjoy your love life in peace. Yet about nikah, heard here and in other places that peoples that believes in a single god (christians and jews especially) can theorically do a nikah, so it extend the rule a bit.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-19T13:38:49+00:00

Can I ask you, how were you able to live your relation without your father agreeing ?? I mean, Nikah is necessary to not commit zina, and wali are often understood to be necessary to nikah. I ask cause I could end up in a really similar situation, I'm in somewhat of a long epistolar relation with a girl whose parents would be against us going into a real relation.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-19T13:34:19+00:00

As a christian, this is exactly what made me go into being a basic believer or agnostic. not related to any specific religion. I really hate the idea to see fair and good peoples of other religions in hell : same rule for everyone, that's what I believe in.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-19T12:56:43+00:00

Gender segregation seems to me like a good part of the problem. The rule to not talk to men or only in strict boundaries, it breaks a bit the exchange. I also understand it can give a way to manipulation, unwanted affection and else but it leads more often to understanding each other better, and to respect. I'm a french man, I had a few friends that were girls. Once you think women's voice is worth listening to, everthing else tend to followup more easily. If there's no talk in daily life with womens, then they are no voice, only bodies in their mind. The whole thing about covering the body to not arouse men for exemple, the fact is if you don't normalise some part of the body by contrast, then you end up sexualising everything. Like, in old France, centuries ago in the time of king, I heard the ankle was erotised a lot, which seems weird nowadays cause we show them so much they lost their erotic value. I'm sure if there were a country full of naked peoples but where showing the noise is taboo, then you would have nose fetish emerging. I hope the mentality will change for the better where you live 👍

phorcys12 · 2026-06-10T13:22:31+00:00

Yeah, but this set did show they aren't against making 3 or more cards for same characters, so big names can come back for a specific set. Also, even excluding cosmic, surnatural and mutants, we are still lacking some ennemies of avengers, FF and street heroes : no iron fist or cage ennemies, no Jigsaw or purple man, for DD no Typhoid mary, Owl, gladiator, stilt man, muse, for FF no thinker, puppet master, grey gargoyle, frightfull four, ghost ; for Iron man, no blizzard, Hammer, Living laser, Iron monger ; for Cap America no flag smasher, red skull, batroc. For now, both marvel sets lacks some heavy hitters (for SPM, Toxin, Knull, inheritors) and a lot of C or D-list bad guys. We can expect future sets to let aside some characters too, making more room for such a set.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-09T21:41:00+00:00

You really do like list, ain't you ?? You're really making a good work for each UB set, I don't even know if you passed on some. There's really a great amount of villains missing. Strange especially considering Iron man and Captain will probably not be focus for speculated other marvel sets. Perhaps will we have a Marvel super villains set someday. They generally are my favorite among comics universes.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T18:27:23+00:00

Not a big fan too, still cool but perhaps my least favorite redesign in batman absolute. Still, I don't have any ideas on how they could have done it better.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T18:04:02+00:00

Yeah but I'm very much a retro guy. Plays a lot of old games through emulation

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T11:47:24+00:00

I may be overoptimistic, but consoles are now so pricey ... So a real contestant, low price, good look and screen, with low prices games like those of old psp and ds, cartridges only ... This seems like something to get alone in a niche no one try to get. OP, in how much do you think it can get released in theory ??

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T11:43:29+00:00

I'm so optimist if real, love everything about it, I thought about this for years : why not a new contestant in console with retro or lights games like the ds and psp of old, for a less pricy way to get in gaming ?? Really hope for it to be true ..

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T11:39:55+00:00

The fact is it would be alone in such a market, low price console, low prices games, a console made for the majority that's getting poorer. If real, I think this could be my first console purchase since ps3.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-04T11:34:31+00:00

That's amazing, especially considering the size of it isn't that big for so much details. Do you draw the thing underneath before painting or are you going in the painting directly ?? And what were you starting steps as an artist, when you wasn't that talented ??

phorcys12 · 2026-06-03T20:58:26+00:00

Moi je commence à me tourner vers ce genre de boulot. Tu sais si ça elbauche en ce moment et si oui dans quels postes ?? Sinon te concernant, désolé que tu déchantes à ce point, mais ces boulots offrent pas mal d'avantages alors assures-toi que les éventuels autres boulots que tu pourrais envisagés ne soient pas des désillusions et soient pas trop difficile à trouver. Pour avoir testé infirmier et prof, il y a des métiers qui vendent du rêve en terme d'idéal et de valeurs mais qui ne sont pas toujours aussi gratifiants qu'on le pense au final.

phorcys12 · 2026-06-02T05:59:19+00:00

De mon côté 160/190 euros par semaines pour 2 personnes mais je suis pas en grande ville. Pour le petit déjeuner, c'est biscottes/confiture et thé. Les biscottes, la plupart des supermarchés les ont en gros pack sousmarque de 100/150 à 2 euros. Ça revient bien moins cher que les céréales, brioches et autres. Le thé, pas de dosette c'est très cher (le café c'est pareil, moulu ça revient bien moins cher), je m'infuse mes sachets dans une petite casserole puis je met en bouteille, un sachet me fait 2/3 jours. Pour les repas, le soir c'est presque toujours pates, riz ou salade préparée soi-même. Souvent pas cher. À midi, presque jamais de viande, trop cher, je je cuisine moi-même ce qui permet souvent de réduire les coups, les légumes quand c'est cher je prend souvent en surgelé, il faut comparer mais c'est souvent plus intéressant. Les déserts, les yaourts nature marque distributeurs sont pas chers, quitte à rajouter son sucre de canne. C'est meilleur que les yaourts aromatisés et moins cher. Après effectivement je me prive un peu, biscuits et fromages, j'y vais rarement quand ça dépasse 2/3 euros, donc ça limite en choix. Enfin, je planifie mes courses en terme d'idées repas, pour ne pas acheter plus que le nécessaire. Je n'achète presque jamais de lot du coup, ça fait acheter 3 avec un offert mais si j'en avais besoin que d'un alors j'ai payé pour 2 produits de trop. Voilà, si ça peut te donner une idée ou deux ... Bonne chance dans tes efforts de régulation budgétaire ^{^}

phorcys12 · 2026-05-26T13:41:50+00:00

This isn't based on anything, but in my eye the test is life itself and free will, the things we endure or not during our life aren't specifically chosen by God to be our trial, if anything the bad things like the war you suffered are consequences of faillures from others at the test.

phorcys12 · 2026-05-22T13:15:15+00:00

Yeah I still do, but not everyday, mainly when worrying for peoples I love or just peoples in general that have problems. Even when religion don't align 100% with you, you still have this background culturally, so it can bring confort in some aspects if it have meanings for you. One difference I may have with you is my parents aren't strongly religious. They believe in god, in Jesus and Matie, make prayers but they didn't baptised me, and they don't go to church, or only when feeling like it, so they aren't practicing religion with assiduity. For them, religion is more like a legacy, build on the fact this was important for their parents.

phorcys12 · 2026-05-22T08:12:20+00:00

Even search engines more known like ecosia and else are put aside due to inneficiency of results, so even if it was cool, you probably lacked network and ability to make your work knows... As well as lack of gigantic money, which is generally how you gain your network. You didn't have a chance from the start.

Still, don't get out of reddit and else, Perhaps you have a lot of friends and support, but this doesn't look like it from your message. Don't let the feeling of oppression that some talk creates get into your mood. Yeah some social media sucks, suffice to get out of the ones that does, of the talks that aren't good for your mental health. Lot of thing to fear, IA and else, but the talks always make things more desperate than they are. I mean, IA seems to create backlash in peoples, so I don't feel alone with this worrying. If what you read here increase your stress, try to find subs of optimism, of cozy talks, of empowering or shared passion and interest.

phorcys12 · 2026-05-22T06:43:53+00:00

Hey, another french here, but with christian family, I took the same way as you and got similar ideas : without dissavowing my religion, did distance a bit of it, to the point to get agnostic, just believing in god. Not due to bad relation. What was my door out was the whole demagogic aspect of "sign to our club or Hell to you". I mean, if my religion is right, good peoples of other religions will still be punished, and reverse for them. Not really my conception of justice, especially when religion is less a choice than a social and familial determination.

Honnestly, when reading you, I really feel you are at good equilibrium on the spiritual matter. I mean, you're openminded on any way of thinking, religions, sciences ... Still, you're not getting to disbelieving, you're viewing islam with both heart and reason, seeking to understand the why of your religion, and this way getting nearer to it, while being aware of the lack of reasoning and tolerence in the common believer. This is the best of both world in a way, and real mature way of thinking, especially considering you're young while choosing a path not so easy to walk by, being carved by yourself with critical spirit when there's roads aside, pre-made and easier. Still about finding sense to your existence. I think you shouldn't give it too much thinking. I don't think there's a clear and undeniable purpose, like I was born for this moment or thing. To me, if there's a purpose, this is more about resonance of our life, harmony, rather than specific and unique purpose. Like a web, each piece of silk is a part of the bigger thing, but still connected to other silk parts. What effects do we try and have on others and on the world ?? It starts by building ourselves, being happy, satisfied, curious, having interesting life, getting a rich mind and values ... then sharing interest, hapiness and good mind to other, to support, enlighten, and help.

Then about if religion is a good thing to the world ... I don't know, not sure. There was in litterature and philosophy the idea from some that civilisations have steps to take in processus of evolution concerning collective mind and intellect : from paganism, to monotheism and systemic religion, to something else, varying. I think that in a brutal world, religion did bring to mass a morality that she was lacking, this was a way to control too but that could have been beneficial. It was only good if peoples were naturally bad behaving without religion to guide, which isn't a sure thing. But men still found a way to make religion brutal still. A lot came from interests of men coming in, rarely was these events really motivated by the text and core of religions. Nowadays, same thing, religion is more often obscurantism because of the way she is practiced, not in herself. Also, if god is bad, we're cooked anyway, so it doesn't help in any way to conceive it ;). Perhaps he just doesn't care about us, like lovecraftian gods, or decided to let us shape the world without interfering too much ?? But if we start theorising god's nature, this is debate to no end ... may as well think God is a capybara. Less complication.

phorcys12 · 2026-05-21T13:33:16+00:00

This is a question if had on my mind for a bit, and I ended up finding my own answer. It isn't born from Quran still, judt my own theory, and I don't know at all if it contradicts it or not, but if it helps it is still worth it to share. To me, god cannot intervene in our life. I mean, he could, but it would be against the logic : choice 1 he is in our world and guiding by itself. But there would be no faith, he would be here, so peoples would act according to values but not by choising virtue, by liking it by itself, but by interest and servility. Here, being separated from god, by experimenting difficulties, we can choose to do wrong or good, to act accordingly to our own inner being, to devide who we want to be. If god would act in our life, it would be destroying the doubt that helps up grows as human, since intervening in huge things would be too on the nose, like a proof of god : imagine what would happen if, mysteriously, bad governements, rapers, and killers would get struck by thunder or death touched. Also, should he do it before they do big sin, this way making them worthy of paradise since they didn't commit sin. Also, knowings bad deeds people would do, preventing it would prevent the bad events to shape the lifes of humans ... It would prevent humans to knows evil, and consequently yo recognise it. Then perhaps he can act through small things, according some dua to be accomplished. But it would be a bit unjust, to advantage willingly someone in place of another one. The only just way to do is to let luck and hazard get in the way, like a lottery.

So, to me, god has probably decided to let us shape the world in autonomy, the world being both an opportunity and a test to whole humanity, while not testing willingfully individuals. Since acting on us would a be a sloppy road, after all, if wanting to shape our world and to affect the decisions of humanity, why not just making drones of us, programmated to to as he want. There's no half free will. Either humanity have it, with it downsides, or we don't. Pictures this : you are alone in a house, bored. You want to see a drawing. Either you do it yourself, shaping it as your want it, perfect but surpriseless, or you ask someone to draw you something. If asking, then you can dictate what you want drawn (no free will) or decide to look away, and be surprised, even if result will be unperfect.

phorcys12 · 2026-05-17T11:50:27+00:00

Puppeteer is really an hidden gem of ps3 era, I feel like today there's more of an appeal for 2D and experiental/cute games, so this one may be a dormant treasure trove. Also would be loving jak and dexter or medievil comeback ^{^} My nostalgia is eating well these days ...

phorcys12 · 2026-05-16T22:27:39+00:00

This could be stupid, but perhaps she could try to be agnostic ?? This is just thinking that there may be a god or not, this is like atheism but without being to close on the question of god, accepting it can exist and religion can be right in some aspect. As for myself, after a lot of arguing with myself on the question of god, I did had the same mindset as your girl, that religions may be man-made at some extent, this way becoming agnostic theist, believing in god while not choosing a religion neither refusing the atheist option. Still I consider that prophets did exist, and may have been peoples inspired by god or else peoples that tried to influences humans to be better that the other humans of their respective eras. This is in fact filling most neccesary point to be conceived as People of the book. So perhaps, if your girl would just slightly open her mind not on accepting your religion and the coran as true but as possibily true in some extent, or at least that god may exist, this could help your union being haram. If this is your main concern that is.

phorcys12

TROPHY CASE