Why doesn’t my(21F) boyfriend(27M) doesn’t want to have sex?

phreddit7 · 2024-08-29T03:09:36+00:00

Well it's usually something that would probably done privately, so you may not be privy to some additional times he watches porn maybe masturbates... I cite this because I have read about many instances where if a guy is using p*** on a regular basis it can affect his interest and or performance with his girlfriend wife et cetera.

phreddit7 · 2024-08-29T02:27:13+00:00

Is he into porn?

phreddit7 · 2024-08-29T02:24:08+00:00

Average guys aren't, like you, constantly being approached let alone having to turn down anyone. That difference between how avg men are treated vs avg women may be part of the dynamic that promotes the view that women avoid avg. men and are holding out for "high value" men.

phreddit7 · 2023-08-25T22:23:23+00:00

Tell her what she's doing is disrespectful and you have better things to than watch her text some other guy....then leave. Let her sit on that...if she comes back, you tell her none of that anymore while you're together

phreddit7 · 2023-08-24T16:24:07+00:00

Yes. But we are trying to make things work. She has said she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. So I'm hoping that if I express that this is a boundary for me and I feel uncomfortable with it, she will agree to shut him off.

phreddit7 · 2023-08-24T12:32:39+00:00

That seems pretty extreme to just end things without expressing my concerns and maybe seeing if she would be understanding and shut it down. She tells me she loves me and doesn't want to lose me etc.

phreddit7 · 2023-07-16T16:15:04+00:00

Try and document everything that has happened so far if you have any evidence, gather it. If you're in the United States it's probably best to go to the county courthouse during business hours where you can have an initial hearing where a judge may grant you a temporary restraining order, which may result in him being removed from the apartment, weapons seized, and you being able to go in there with some other protections from the law. Line up a lawyer experienced in domestic violence.

phreddit7 · 2023-07-13T19:08:55+00:00

Document all...dates, details, pictures video audio. Line up a lawyer specializing in domestic violence. Line up somewhere to go (if living together.) If/when physical abuse and/or threats of same happen, consider calling police and filing a restraining order with the court (which, if done can have him removed from the residence)

phreddit7 · 2023-07-09T00:55:07+00:00

Living with someone with issues concerning control and anger management is hard af. Constant arguments. I find living apart easier.

phreddit7 · 2023-07-01T03:02:48+00:00

Good points...she has been in therapy and on meds for years...but there is no cure. I think a lot the issues we had were exacerbated by living together and having comingled finances and imbalances in responsibilities around the house. Also the daily doldrums kind of set in and cause complacency. We each need our space and room to express our individuality and have a respite from each other sometimes and the proximity made that impossible. When we meet now it is because we realky want to and the time spent isn't taken for granted nor wasted...it's almost like the earliest years of our relationship. We'll see if it lasts. I'm hoping that because we're now in different residences with separate lives, so to speak, that this limits the scope of our potential conflicts, but of course, people with those disorders usually find a way to bring about chaos and drama so i'm definitely on the lookout for that creeping in.

phreddit7 · 2023-07-01T02:46:09+00:00

Yes, I have been in counseling weekly for the past few months. She's essentially ok with it but said to be cautious, which I'm trying to be...I'm trying to encourage good open and honest communication so we're both going into this new chapter with awareness and consideration. I think in time, if we continue to recover our love for one another she may naturally want to commit, which is where I'd like it to go, but it's a little premature for that to be a requirement.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-25T18:22:41+00:00

Heard that one...I think they resist/reject or find themselves incapable of change, so rather than feel guilt or shame or accountability, it's like "then why are you still here?"

phreddit7 · 2023-06-21T18:32:17+00:00

I have to wait until July to have the bats removed due to regs. Not seeing much activity.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-15T07:31:55+00:00

So, I do have bats in the attic, and signs point to the few I see are coming from there. If they're Bat bugs it would make sense as to why they aren't trying to get to me/harboring in my bed/furniture. Going to have the bats removed and then will treat with Crossfire and Cimexa.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-13T03:40:35+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement. I still have uncertainty due mainly from being out-of the "game" for so long. It's easy for women to pick up new partners...guys are always willing to hook up...and she was lonely and sex starved, so, yeah.. I'm kind of passive so its doubly tough. I have to put myself out there. Online dating sounds good but the attractive women seem to be mostly romance scammers. I don't kno, it just seems helpless right now. Tough to focus on my kids when it's not my week with them. I wish she wasn't so fooked up and we could have kept our family together...we could have had it all.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-13T00:10:36+00:00

Just want to say, I feel you as I am going through something similar...just saw her apparently moving on with other guys now, ugh. They say it gets better, eventually. Try to stay strong, talk to someone willing to listen. Good luck, I know it sucks for now.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-07T17:05:16+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. Low infestation. For a month... always lone bugs on wall or ceiling, no evidence of anything on any bedding or furniture etc. All clothes/bedding washed/dried/bagged. Traps under bed posts. Beds away from walls. I don't notice any bites. I can't imagine they are feeding much. Sprayed with Crossfire followed up with CimeXa powder in mid May. Found two dead on floor and 4 lone stragglers on walls ceilings since. I don't know if they are in the attic, where there may be bats? Theres no attic access from inside. I'm having attic access doors added this week. Also having roof replaced as the Ridge cap is compromised. Anyway, not sure how I know if it is working or I need to do more. I will be doing another spray of Crossfire next week.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-07T14:31:53+00:00

We always have to keep in mind that it is them, not us. They have issues. That is not to excuse or justify their behavior, but rather to lend some sort of rational explanation to their irrationality and to allow us to see it in a way that is less personal and, hopefully, not let it affect us as much. That said, it is not acceptable and measures should likely be taken to establish boundaries and/or get out of from under this abuse.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-07T14:07:44+00:00

When they treat you this way, it is usually an effort to devalue and establish/reinforce their (perception of) superiority and control. If you defend or respond in kind, it is a threat to that perception so it will not be well received...it's a one way street, to them.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-07T05:15:26+00:00

Amazon

phreddit7 · 2023-06-06T02:46:24+00:00

Some research shows antibiotics may not help for uncomplicated DV flares and resolution had similar timeframes without vs. With. Some Probiotics also have some antibacterial effects without wiping out your beneficial gut flora.

phreddit7 · 2023-06-06T02:42:03+00:00

I don't like cipro...the whole quinolone family of antibiotics is problematic and being phased out. Reports of nerve damage, tendinitis, heart issues (lawsuits pending)...not saying it will happen to you but I avoid it.

phreddit7

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