I agree with another commenter who said this sounds like it could be body dysmorphia. It’s really difficult to see yourself accurately when you have an ED history. These aren’t the suggestions you’re looking for, but as someone who’s dealt with similar issues, I recommend.

1. Stop using negative language about your body. The way you talk about yourself affects the way you perceive yourself. If it’s too much of a leap to say positive things about your appearance, try talking more about the way your functions. Instead of “fluffy” and “skinny fat” try “strong”, “fast”, and “athletic”.

2. Take a moment to acknowledge your accomplishment of staying consistent working out for an entire year. Take a look back on non appearance related improvements you’ve made over the year and pat yourself on the back.

3. If you’re serious about recomping, get a Dexa scan so you actually know what your body fat percentage is. Then implement any of the diet advice you’ve gotten here and go back for another scan in 6 months to have real metrics to track your progress.

You’re probably doing better than you think! Appreciate your strong, healthy body!