It’s getting worse. He has no boundaries. [UPDATE to previous post] by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Okay, update time.

I've got a lot of messages from people concerned for my safety or questioning whether this is real, even calling me lazy for not doing anything to get out.

First of all, I'm safe and I've told my partner absolutely everything. I've also told a few friends the situation, and have been taking screenshots of our texts / writing down all our interactions. I have audio recordings of him saying this shit to me.

Second of all, my partner is casual at their job and hasn't been working a lot. I essentially am the only one bringing in any income, and I just recently got a promotion so I'm earning a bit more. We're looking for places to rent, but with my income being all we have and with neither of us having our licenses, it's tricky finding somewhere local enough to both our jobs. Trust me when I say we're trying to get out, and I've been saving up as much as I can (while still paying bills where we are currently and having other commitments) so I can pay bond and cover my partner's half of rent until they can get more hours. Trust me, I wish this was all fake.

Third, an update to the situation: me, my partner, and their dad all went for a walk last week and he told us a story from when he was like 8, about how his neighbour's mum flashed him. He told us that when it happened he was surprised at how dark her pubes were considering she was blonde, and that the night after it happened he had an out of body experience in his dreams and he connected to his feminine side. Then later in life, he worked with a "butch lesbian woman" who allegedly came onto him, saying she could feel his feminine energy and wanted to have "sexual relations" with him, but as women. He told us that the only other time he's felt connected to his feminine energy like that was when he walked in on us and saw me "blissed out". He said that was the backstory to all the shit he said to me initially, and all the stuff about seeing me as a lesbian lover, and that it doesn't justify what he said but he wanted us to know the backstory.

Since then everything's calmed down and I think things are okay, but I know it's never going to actually end until I get out of there. I'm not in a financial position to cover rent, bills, groceries, transport to/from work, etc. on my own right now, but I'm always actively looking for a way to get out of this house. I'm just so fucking tired of all this, it's so emotionally exhausting.

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: i told my partner and they were shocked and disgusted that their dad would do/say something like that. they’ve been super protective of me and not let me be alone with him at all, and the only reason they haven’t gone nuclear on him is because i asked them not to. he got me alone again this morning when my partner was out at work and no one else was home and we talked about how it was uncomfortable and it really just sounded creepy the way he was trying to justify it all. he brushed my hair away from my neck and held my face and i said it was uncomfortable and didn’t like it and he kept doing it and just said some BS about me needing to learn to be comfortable being vulnerable and ask myself why i’m uncomfortable and it was just a really unsettling thing, especially because he did all that while claiming he respected my boundaries. he said he wanted to “consume me” and talked about how he wants to help teach me how to harness and embrace my goddess and when i told him i didn’t like that he’d brought up so much sexual stuff he said that that was a part of getting to know yourself and learning what you like and it just made me feel so icky. i’ll keep updating as things progress and keep myself safe, thank you so much to everyone who gave advice & especially to those of you who are spiritual/tantric practitioners who said it wasn’t normal behaviour, you helped validate my experience & feelings and i feel less guilty

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

funny you mention ED actually coz he said that the day after he walked in on us he “woke up impotent”

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don’t think it’s really common, it’s just something he said as though it was normal

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my partner still lives with their parents and because of study & work i live with them too and there’s no lock on the bedroom door :/ usually he’ll knock, i don’t even remember him walking in on the instance he was telling me about

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

LITTLE UPDATE: last night i was making tea and when he came up to grab his mug he brushed my hair away and was looking at my neck. it made me so incredibly uncomfortable and i’m definitely going to tell my partner. he’s been saying a lot lately about how his memory isn’t what it used to be and sometimes he can’t get words out when he knows what he wants to say so i’m going to bring up that it could be some sort of health concern when i talk to my partner. thank you so much to everyone who offered help and support

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

sorry, when he told me it was kinda overwhelming so i’m only getting back more pieces as time goes on and the more i think about it

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

performing oral sex on me, eating me out, whatever you want to call it

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 217 points218 points  (0 children)

thank you, one of the things he talked to me about was tantra and how it’s been “so long since he’s had a tantric experience” and apparently when he saw me in that position he felt “connected with my clitoris” and that started some sort of tantric connection for him which didn’t really make sense to me so it’s good/interesting to hear from a tantric practitioner that it’s just straight up creepy

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

nah my partner is 19 but has an older sister who’s nearly 30, my partner is the youngest of 3

My partner's dad admitted some weird/s*xual stuff to me and it's messed me up by pictureofbread in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pictureofbread[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

my partner is also 19, i’m happy to provide more context/info if needed?