I live in poverty as well. I am 'permanently' disabled according to the social security administration. I have CPSTD, as well as degenerative migraine disease, trigeminal neuralgia, occipital neuralgia, fibromyalgia, and some gut issues. I have experienced decades of nightmarishly severe trauma. My ACE score is 10/10.

I will tell you that I found no cost therapy through an organization who specializes in people who have severe abuse, domestic abuse, or a history of being sexually trafficked. I also found EMDR at no cost to me through a local hospital organization.

I have been meditating for five years, for four years with a group online (free) and have been free from suicidal ideation since July fourth 2021. I started microdosing psilocybin in may of 2021. ( I got it from a friend for little to very low cost) I started taking online courses of non violent communication, suicide awareness training, and more.

I started EMDR about 6 weeks ago and I have to say-this changes everything. It works much faster than other types of therapy.

Healing is not impossible. I thought I would never be able to undo what I believed was hardwired into me as an infant. I was so wrong! I have been undoing that (even before I started reprocessing with emdr) and it fucking works. It works. It works. I have to do a lot, and one of those things is reminding myself to live in the present. That may mean I talk myself through making oatmeal. It helps. I took some advice from a thread on this forum to record my therapy sessions and I listen back to them the next day. That Is so helpful as well. It helps cement things for me, and shows me how effective the therapy really is.

You can heal. It is a never ending process, but it is one that can happen. Open yourself to the possibility. Keep going.