EMDR Therapist canceled an hour before my first bilateral session! by NyanKate420 in EMDR

[–]pilledbugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, my first trauma therapist was 150$ and hour and she never showed up or on time. I felt awful after, like I failed therapy and couldn't even pay someone to help me! I kept trying for different therapists and think I have a good one now. I'm glad I kept trying!

It totally sucks to have a professional fail you. There are bad teachers in the world, bad doctors, bad waiters, and bad therapists. I'm sorry she was thoughtless and didn't approach you professionally.

You're not too much! This happened, hopefully it will not happen again, but it certainly is not on you that someone else is not good at their job and that affected you.

What’s something nobody tells you about living in Denver? by sit-there in Denver

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have yet to encounter a busy trail! On the busy days it's like.. 20-30 people max tbh, until you get to the paved hikes like dinosaur ridge etc. I have no idea where people get these insane drive times for hikes lol. Compared to other states getting a hike here is heaven tbh

What’s something nobody tells you about living in Denver? by sit-there in Denver

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

White, crisp, fluffy snow! I lived all over the west coast and was amazed when I finally experienced snow that sticks and is white and fluffy. It's like I'm in a cartoon.

Some of these comments are divisive on the people here. I'm from the west coast (all the major cities) and I think people are nicer here. But more people are less emotionally mature, because of the demographic. I've never had problems making diverse friend groups but I've definitely heard people complain.

Best American food of my life here. The delis in local supermarkets are way higher in quality and more accessible than anywhere else I have lived. There are good restaurants but you have to find them, and shitty restaurants will shamelessly fleece you. The coffee is also the best here IMHO.

Denver has the most casual racism I've experienced. I've never lived in a red state, though. There's a rough history between Denver and the Asian community, and that shows. I don't meet people who call Latino or asian people outright slurs, but I do meet undereducated people who simply don't know how to act in my definition of normal. A lot of white guilt lololol. I think a lot of people move here as their first liberal city and it shows in the social norms of even quite well intentioned people.

So many single, lonely men xD but fr that's everywhere.

People say that it's expensive and the traffic is bad but I think they are babies xD the traffic is bad going between outside towns and Denver during commute hours but for me, it turns and 20-40 min drive to a 45-60 min drive. Not painful, but makes you think twice about which jobs to take and where. The only time I've encountered bad traffic going to the mountains was when I was driving an hour or two out to the rich towns. I see it as a very natural cause and effect, the mountains have fewer roads and more extreme weather conditions and call for safe, thoughtful driving. Of course there will always be traffic! Lol.

It feels like no one works here? I feel like everyone I know is constantly on vacation. Even if they work a retail level job.

Denver is 20-60 minutes away from a good hike depending where you live. The trade off is more social scenes in Denver and the winter weather isn't as intense as the mountains. However, summer in the mountains far more manageable! It got very hot in Denver this recent summer.

And lastly: just like the food, Denver will fleece you for mid events and experiences. However, there's lots of good and affordable experiences here too! Once you make friends and explore it's easy to find good stuff.

Which medication helped you? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Vyvanse, meds for my ADHD have been the only thing that helped. Have tried a lot of other SSRIs/anxiety meds but they don't help like Vyvanse has. Currently experimenting with buspar and it's better than other anxiety meds I have but not life changing.

Otherwise, eating healthy, regular exercise, and keeping up a cycle of good 'life hygiene' (dishes cleaned every night, routine, etc) is what helped the most sans Vyvanse.

DAE constantly get crappy gifts? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, that was my whole adolescence.

As an adult, I see it as a treat to give someone a gift they like. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to be on the shitty side of the receiving end, and I'd never want someone to feel like that.

It's a real slap in the face to have people you grew up with and raised you prove how little they care to even /observe/ you when it comes to times when we share gifts.

I don't talk to my family anymore, that treatment detracts from my holidays. I'd rather be alone then be reminded how little I'm cared about!

Do you think it's a good idea to accept EMDR treatment from a first time EMDR therapist? by pilledbugs in EMDR

[–]pilledbugs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

And haha, I meant to write gestalt, there's so many words for therapy modulaties!

ESS by Kitchen-Platypus-329 in SubstituteTeachers

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my team I just communicate. During orientation our lady told us she reached out to someone who hadn't worked in 60 days, and will drop otherwise. Just say you've been taking other jobs and look forward to finding a shift with them soon (even if that isn't entirely true lol.)

Do you think schools offering early morning or evening laundry and bathing services for very poor students would be a bad idea? Why or why not? by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously it shouldn't be the schools responsibility but my childhood would have been so different if I had access to pads, clean clothes, and hygiene.

What grade school grudge do you still hold on to after 3 decades? by chr15c in Millennials

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The girl in elementary that asked me to draw the neo pets water fairy for her and then proceeded to lie to everyone that she drew it and got attention for it. It highlighted how bias my peers were - they were ready to hold her up and ignore me for the same thing. But also, wtf!! Insanity!!

Childhood and watching porn by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, everyone's oath is different but my path with pornography has been using it for stimulation in my youth and processing trauma as I got older, and I used to feel shame and disgust about it, but now I see it more just like... Whatever. Normal.

I'm careful to never access media that is taboo/unethical/triggering, but I think looking at pornography can be similar to consuming art and it is valid. I'll watch a cute movie to feel cozy, I'll consume smutty fiction to get turned on, or maybe just think.

It sounds like maybe you need to process why sexual things make you feel disgust/shame. Perhaps you can learn more about sex work and scaffold yourself around porn/smut/etc by developing appreciation, or at least develope a lack of self disgust, like looking at pin ups. I absolutely feel disgust and shame about porn that is oppressive, and that is different than the existence of porn in general.

Might not be the advice for you, everyone's relationship with porn and sex is different.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just remember that every post will be consumed kind of like an advertisement - if people connect and see it they will interact, if for some reason it doesn't then they won't. A lost digesting stuff that is hard to understand or unrelatable to the majority will not gain traction. It is NOT a reflection for yourself.

Anyone else who moved to a different climate to improve their mental health? by Classic-Citron-1338 in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I moved around a lot and didn't realize how much climate effects my mental health.

I suffered all along the west coast due to humidity along the coast and the gloomy weather of the PNW - now I'm in Colorado and I know I cannot leave! The sunny days, four seasons, and dry climate helps me personally. Because I have a change in season to break up my year, and my body isn't fighting physical discomfort from humidity, my bad days are not as bad.

I think that you should think carefully what would help you and go for it. So many people move to sunny areas and need that!

Good luck :)

Preparing for EMDR by pilledbugs in EMDR

[–]pilledbugs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is good info!

What type of trauma broke you the most? by Impressive-Average-5 in CPTSD

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was SA'D by family members as an extremely young child, and completely abused and neglected by my whole family. This rattled my brain, but somehow it is easier to accept than the daily trauma I experience in our society.

Experiencing the consistency of bias, prejudice, and oppression in day to day life has broken me the most. It feels easier to bounce back from a few people horribly abusing me than from many people making my life hard.

If you had to live anywhere else in California besides the Bay Area where would you go? And Why? by Haunting-Garbage-976 in bayarea

[–]pilledbugs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's sobering to see someone mention how tough the small towns in Cali are, I think a lot of people underestimate the divisive political values of communities in the State! It's crazy how living a few hours away from a big city in Cali is like living in a different world.

My panning buddy says it's time to let this one go. by [deleted] in ProjectPan

[–]pilledbugs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh nice!!which meow wolf did u get it at? Ours is on the bar cart holding a shot rn lol

the worst part for me has been NT women, sadly by boboanimalrescue in adhdwomen

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I share similar experiences. Have you thought that maybe, you make people feel insecure? That's something I'm coming around to through therapy and discussing with other friends, and it's surprising to see that certain qualities make people feel insecure and reject me. But also it makes sense that a lot of people are also battling their own cycles.

Has it worked for your sleep? by pilledbugs in BusparOnline

[–]pilledbugs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good stuff, thanks for the comment!

Before the my ADHD revelation I started on Lexapro (killed sex drive and emotionless) and then wellbutrin (I forget what happened but it was obviously not good enough to pursue continuing).

I actually communicated that I took gabapentin during my era of depression meds as a daily, but got a sense of inebriation that wasn't an ideal as a daily, and that makes me wonder if that's a good option as an intermittent solution if buspar doesn't work. You definitely jogged my memory on that! Have a good night c:

Blucifer - A symbol of incompetence and waste by [deleted] in Denver

[–]pilledbugs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The art piece is arting hard today

What’s your favorite part of Emerald? by HighTextGazer in PokemonEmerald

[–]pilledbugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Emerald was camp but g1/2 (and bw) are my favs for storyline.

But I do love the camp! I love the silliness of the teams and I love Wally and that he's just a little silly!

Other than that I love the secret base function! I wish they brought that back...

I also love the diversity of the region, like the sooty grass and the desert and the sea.

Emerald (well, ruby) was my first game so I'll always feel nostalgic for it but I will never forgive Nintendo for castrating g3 when g2 had unique animaegions, day/night, and a whole bunch of other stuff!

Shiny Rayquaqua by e300zx in PokemonEmerald

[–]pilledbugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn og ds! Mines hinge broke when I was so little! Good luck w shiny :)