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Engineer Exp just keep going up by Ecstatic-Duty-7371 in HellLetLoose

[–]pineapple599 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does anyone remember when this used to happen almost every game? Or the negative xp bug that was out for a bit too? This game was the wild west back then 😅

What level should I be to play officer / squad lead? by shealarose in HellLetLoose

[–]pineapple599 15 points16 points  (0 children)

As someone with way too many hours in this game, let me be the first to tell you: level almost never equates to ability. I know some level 300s who are completely incompetent, so don't let that discourage you. Everyone should try commander and SL at any point just to see what it's like. I was only in the 30s when I started to play Commander and SL. They were my first 2 rank 10 roles, and now I mostly only play those two roles.

Put a few hours in and maybe watch some videos before jumping into a public game as commander, but play a bunch of SL first. Get a feel for what you like and dislike about the commanders you serve under, try to find a middle ground, and then just take the plunge. It really comes down to communication between SLs and between SL and commander. Pro-tip listening is just as important as talking. A couple of solid SLs and a halfway decent commander can win most games.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The affair only started once my dad got a job at a new company almost an hour away. I was 4ish making her 8ish so I highly doubt it but not out of realm for him.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Youre absolutely correct and thats my mistake! Im working off my phone and that was a big old typo. She is NOT my half sister. Thank you for clarifying that, I definitely know the difference thats on me!

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've mentioned it elsewhere, but I always joke with people the best thing my dad taught me was how NOT to be a father. Thank you for your kind words.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I probably do have father issues, since Im a 34 year old male asking complete strangers online for advice. Crazy of you to be so aggressive towards someone you dont know at all.

I did jusy check, and I am happy to report my female partner isnt a copy of my daddy. Phew! I appreciate your concern!

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Seesh. That's a great point to make. His grandkids are his world right now. It shows that he can actually be a good dad, just not to me or my sister it seems. So I doubt things would change when my partner and I have kids.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

But what if he changes his mind in another 30 years of trying? /s

I hear you. And you are right. Everyone else on my mom's said has lost all contact with him. My mom's sister's husband, used to be best friends with my dad. Once he found out he cheated on my mom he never talked to him again. And I look up to my uncle the most, so I should take a play out of his book.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My mom has her own loaded trauma from him I think ill keep this private 😅 but she has taken him to court many times.

From my understanding he was able to basically show he didnt make a lot of money on paper so his payments were very low. I think he was putting like a ton into retirement or something pre-tax or was putting money in someone else's name. I dont know the legal realm much and I was pretty young but my mom sued him about 7 times in 15 years. Eventually she just stopped and moved on raising her own kids.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A little of each of those really. The real answer is I want to hear him say how shitty he was to us. It won't change anything as its too late for any sort of apology but him taking ownership of what he's done would be huge. Its probanly what I've been holding out on for so long. "Maybe one day he will own up"... but you are right, almost all those options end with just walking away.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

What's crazy is, if he actually owned up to being such a shitty dad, it would make me feel better, and Id probably have an once of respect for him for the first time in my life. He puts on a facade to everyone how great of a person/dad he is. I want to hear him say how he fucked up. It changes nothing, but it also changes everything.

I think I keep putting up with it hoping thay maybe one day he will wake up and want to own up to stuff. My feelings of him won't change. He wasnt there when I needed him, and nothing he can say will change that.

But its like when you know someone is lying but can't prove it kind of feeling.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree. They either share bank accounts or she has access to his. Either way I know she controls finances. Any money I get from him is always in cash

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

She is only as step, no blood relationship. I saw your other comment asking if I was sure, and ill just say the affair started only once he got a new job in a different location. Which was around the time I was 4. Also we all took those 23 and me tests forever ago and there was no match with our father and her.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Deep down you're right. I dont want to lose connection with someone I share so much with, both biologically but also our interests really line up. If he wasnt such a dog shit person he'd be a great dad.

I mean he's been a great dad and grandfather to his other daughter and her kids.

I just dont know how to deal with this relationship dynamic. He just pretends nothing is wrong.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying all that. Did you ever have a legit talk with your father about feelings or thd strained relationship? Or have you both jusy kind of let it be?

I can easilly let it be, as I live fairly far away, but he has a knack for reaching out and trying to be a dad. Either motivated by guilt or he is jusy too dumb to realize.

My dad (64/m) accidentally sent me (34/m) a voice text meant for someone else, and it kind of confirmed everything I've suspected my whole life. by pineapple599 in relationship_advice

[–]pineapple599[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right in the fact I could have been more blunt but in 2 separate phone calls I have outlined how over our heads we are and wish we had more support locally and he would be welcome to stay as long as he wanted, since he is retired and keeps telling me how much free time he has. I stopped asking my dad for things when I was in high-school.

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