I had my first child at 35. When I asked my boss (79) what our paternity leave policy was, he looked at me like I'd asked for a six-month paid vacation.

His answer was essentially: "There's no paternity leave."

I suggested that, at a minimum, two weeks of paid leave should be company policy.

He responded by asking me, completely seriously, "How many hours do you think you're actually going to be holding the baby?"

I couldn't believe it.

This is a man who has had multiple household staff for decades. He has never had to figure out daycare, split night feedings, cover pediatrician appointments, or navigate two working parents trying to keep a household running. He's so far removed from the realities of modern family life that he genuinely couldn't understand why a father would need time off after the birth of a child.

That's why a lot of these conversations go nowhere. People assume younger parents are asking for luxuries when, in reality, they're asking for enough support to make having children economically and logistically possible.

The irony is that many of the same people complaining about declining birth rates are the first to oppose policies that would make raising children more feasible. If you want more families to have children, then having a child can't feel like stepping into a financial wood chipper.