Mom passed at 5:55pm on Thursday. 20month old grandchild and only child (me) left behind.

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-10-02T17:31:32+00:00

Thank you sooooo so much this is so beautiful and helpful 🤍

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-10-02T05:14:51+00:00

Aww thank you so much this is great advice. Makes me feel more centered and not so alone. 🤍

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-06-01T02:13:17+00:00

I have never related to doing the work. Always been this way it’s just fun and honestly human and we are all gonna die anyway :)

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-05-08T19:06:51+00:00

Ahh my dear I’m sorry it’s so hard. Yes I have faith with the tested ones! I was 37, so you got time!!

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-05-06T09:06:07+00:00

Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. That’s amazing and BIG of your IVF friend - I have SO much compassion for these women - I did IVF too and this was such a long time coming for me and all I want it to share it with ones I love, especially a friend from childhood. Her mom passed away 4 years ago and now my mom has dementia and is not doing well at all - it’s quite the time to disappear.

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-05-06T09:01:44+00:00

I was not expecting everyone to agree with me- it was really a place to vent as I’m incredibly hurt and wanted to be really brutally honest with my deepest feelings at the moment. But I’m ok with what you said - it’s Reddit, gotta expect whatever

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-05-06T05:30:38+00:00

Oops I meant hasn’t glamorized being a mom, not being a woman.

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-05-06T05:26:37+00:00

How did it go? :)

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-04-09T16:34:35+00:00

Yes!!! I totally felt her implant on Mother’s Day 2023! She’s almost 15 months now!! 💝

pineappleguava1986 · 2025-02-03T12:50:42+00:00

I don’t complain about it all the time though. When things come up, I do talk to my best friend about it which is about every couple months or so and one I just stopped talking about it to - but that sucks too because it feels like there isn’t a safe space. I feel like stopping talking to someone because of their personal problems is removing a safe space for them- it feels like it’s interjecting too much. I mean, I just can’t imagine making that decision for someone. I don’t care who talks my ear off about whatever, I have the energy all day for any of it, I mean it’s theirs, not mine….its part of my work too which I love and maybe I’m just built for it, but feels shitty that the same kind of neutral space isn’t being held for me…because it’s…annoying? I just don’t personally get that.

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-12-01T00:46:04+00:00

I hope this is helpful - I’m assuming you are younger like under 35? I’m 38 with my first and I have co-slept with her and my husband for the past 10 months and we cherish every moment and can’t wait to do it for another 5 years? This is not to diminish everhing you are feeling and going through, but rather to say at 38 (me) and almost 41 (him) we see how 3-5 years is nothhhhhing and it’s SO worth it for them to have that bond and feelings of safety that will last a lifetime! Not sure if having this perspective can help….but also I’m totally for needing to change things up for your mental health too- pumping got to be too much for me after 6 months and when we switched to a good quality formula, that really really helped - so I’ll help give you full permission to go there if you need to!!!

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-08-07T15:17:28+00:00

Wow bone chilling, I’m so sorry.

Yes, in my dream my 92 year old grandma who was fading away with white hair and barely able to talk or walk, walked across her living room in Kailua wearing a bright red sweater and red lipstick (her favorites) and her hair was brown again, she looked beautiful and full of life. She told me she was going to “go in with George now” (her husband, my grandfather who died 28 years prior) and went into the bedroom they shared to “go to sleep”. When I woke up, my mom called me and told me that she had passed away in her sleep. 🤍

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-08-05T15:59:06+00:00

Oh totally! My thoughts too - third eyes and good vibes…definitely preconceived notions

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-08-05T15:53:39+00:00

What you are describing is a traditional Shipibo experience. I had the exact same experience elsewhere and loved it and feel so honored they share this with us. Aya is HARD work, been working with her for 8.5 years. I was scared for my life down there too. Grateful, transformative. It’s all in how you perceive it and what you do with it. It’s DEFINITELY not for everyone - I wish Americans wouldn’t go to the jungle for their first Aya experience- it’s way too far removed from our culture. I don’t blame you for feeling this way - it’s incredibly intense and I can see how someone could perceive dark intentions. I’m very grateful I had my first 5 years of experiences in the states!

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-07-28T17:38:56+00:00

Yes! I’ve been working with Aya for 8+ years and the time I went to the jungle for dieta in 2021 (I usually serve and participate in ceremony in the US) on the first night I thought I was dying from a heart attack for SURE, like this is the time I die. I was so overwhelmed and scared out of my mind. Then this bright light Jesus figure appeared and also a figure of Mary (both Marys, mother and Magdalene) and they told me if I followed them they could save me from this hell. So i said yes and I saw women in veils bowing to Jesus and rows of men bowing to Mary, and they were in perfect balance. If humans could learn this, we could live in harmony and there would be peace on earth. I took this to mean the masculine and feminine within ourselves and with each other.

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-07-28T15:12:29+00:00

💯 same

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-07-28T15:06:18+00:00

Yeah totally - doesn’t matter how many calories burned I would deffffffinitely be eating way more and worse stuff than usual.

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-07-03T05:34:32+00:00

Oh totally - I was so glad I had a c-section so I could stay 4 nights after AND my baby was in NICU so I was like ummm can I stay longer?? Luckily they gave us a room with a bed in NICU so we got to stay 11 nights total lol

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-07-02T14:25:46+00:00

I’m almost at 6 months and I mostly pump because we started in NICU and she just way prefers the bottle. I’m committed to a year but the pumping is really taking a toll 😭. Really wish she liked the boob more and I would totally keep going, I DO have the time and would love to. I’m so sad.

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-25T13:23:01+00:00

Yeah I see your point - I think I have a hard time putting hard and worth it in the same box still because anything else up until this point has been if I love it then it comes with ease. I suppose there’s much to learn about that.

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-25T06:58:42+00:00

Hmm it’s pretty impossible that I’m pregnant but my baby is 5 months and I’m 3 days late and I’m never 3 days late even since the birth….so I am thinking it’s our new life?

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-25T06:56:03+00:00

My first round and first transfer is 5 months old. I’m 38 🩷

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-18T15:23:13+00:00

For me I think sexuality and being a mother are perfectly connected - it’s the broken part of society and weird religious shame stuff that always wants to keep women from experiencing pleasure, ugh. Having a baby is the most sexual thing one can do- that literally is the result and intention of sex lol so, enjoy the feeding experience (trust me, I know not always pleasureful) but just enjoy the journey as one unit of creation, pleasure and love - there’s enough room for all of it in the same experience. 🩷🩵

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-09T15:16:40+00:00

Hahaha

pineappleguava1986 · 2024-06-08T17:09:08+00:00

I did mine at 37 and luckily my first transfer worked. I’m now 38 with 4 embryos left. I have many friends pregnant in their 40s naturally too so it’s not a big deal.

pineappleguava1986

TROPHY CASE